Guy Kelly

Gabby The Meat Skeleton @scriblit.bsky.social [ View ] Apr 16, 2024 at 10:52 UTC

The Ravenbird's not leaving And everybody's grieving It flew down to my study, I said 'not now please, buddy' It landed on my titan It spoke, which made me frightened It's not the chattiest bird It only knows the one word

1 replies 5 reposts 17 likes

Guy Kelly @brainmage.bsky.social [ View ] Apr 16, 2024 at 10:48 UTC

ooooooh

0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes

Guy Kelly @brainmage.bsky.social [ View ] Apr 16, 2024 at 10:48 UTC

Hey hey, you you, I don't like this raven, hey hey, you you I think it knows a secret, hey hey, you you, I've got as bust of Pallas

0 replies 7 reposts 38 likes

Guy Kelly @brainmage.bsky.social [ View ] Apr 16, 2024 at 10:46 UTC

Toilet pelican quietly whispering "thank you"

4 replies 2 reposts 19 likes

Guy Kelly @brainmage.bsky.social [ View ] Apr 16, 2024 at 10:45 UTC

Oh god though. Imagine being a flintstones and getting an appliance that's really into it. Like, everyone else's vacuum beast is all "it's a living" and yours is just snuffling about the place going "yes daddy more, more"

2 replies 21 reposts 75 likes

Guy Kelly @brainmage.bsky.social [ View ] Mar 25, 2024 at 15:55 UTC

Amazing

0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes

Guy Kelly @brainmage.bsky.social [ View ] Mar 25, 2024 at 15:48 UTC

Episode 93 of I Don't Like Mondays is out now! If you listen to this, pause it when you get to 56 minutes in and try and guess what the next 20 minutes will be about. I'll give you a clue: it is an idea that might genuinely have changed our lives: soundcloud.com/idlmpodcast/...

0 replies 0 reposts 5 likes

Guy Kelly @brainmage.bsky.social [ View ] Mar 13, 2024 at 14:24 UTC

"Man. I wish I could get my prostate massaged right about now" *finger on monkey's paw curls*

1 replies 5 reposts 20 likes

Guy Kelly @brainmage.bsky.social [ View ] Mar 10, 2024 at 23:28 UTC

Naked tit model swapped for prince's wife (4,9)

3 replies 2 reposts 11 likes

Guy Kelly @brainmage.bsky.social [ View ] Mar 10, 2024 at 20:05 UTC

In the spirit of The Secret etc, I have decided to manifest that I Deserve A Little Treat

ko-fi.com/guy

0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes

Guy Kelly @brainmage.bsky.social [ View ] Mar 10, 2024 at 14:06 UTC

So... is there a croque... madame? Oh. Oh there is. Oh my god I'm so sorry. I completely misread the vi- Oh. You guys swing? I'm listening...

5 replies 24 reposts 72 likes

Guy Kelly @brainmage.bsky.social [ View ] Mar 07, 2024 at 19:05 UTC

Hello

6 replies 4 reposts 32 likes

Guy Kelly @brainmage.bsky.social [ View ] Mar 07, 2024 at 15:12 UTC

ahahahahaha yesss

0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes

Guy Kelly @brainmage.bsky.social [ View ] Mar 07, 2024 at 15:08 UTC

[picture of two vast and trunkless legs of stone, shattered visage. Pedestal intentionally cropped out] omg who made this 😂😂😅

1 replies 22 reposts 58 likes

Guy Kelly @brainmage.bsky.social [ View ] Mar 07, 2024 at 14:29 UTC

please delete this immediately TIA x

0 replies 0 reposts 3 likes

Guy Kelly @brainmage.bsky.social [ View ] Mar 07, 2024 at 14:19 UTC

George: It's a new drink. "Moloko vellocet" Jerry: Moloko vellocet? G: Moloko vellocet! Elaine: I thought he ran the bodega? G: Kind of a knifey milk J: Knifey milk? I've heard of sharp cheese but this is ridiculous! [Kramer enters, twitching]: horrorshow, Jerry, real horrorshow

0 replies 1 reposts 10 likes

Guy Kelly @brainmage.bsky.social [ View ] Mar 07, 2024 at 13:19 UTC

let's plan to compromise when we've done everything else we can, eh?

0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes

Guy Kelly @brainmage.bsky.social [ View ] Mar 07, 2024 at 13:14 UTC

you hush your buckets We can put our heads together and think of something. you won't be doing this alone! Don't write it off before we've exhausted every avenue!

1 replies 0 reposts 0 likes

Guy Kelly @brainmage.bsky.social [ View ] Mar 05, 2024 at 12:01 UTC

It's been a year since I launched Hyperfocus Photography!
Turns out I'm quite good at taking pictures! People across the world have bought them!

Then twitter's reach got hobbled...
If you would like to support a neurodivergent photographer, please do share x

hyperfocus.photography

2 replies 48 reposts 41 likes

Guy Kelly @brainmage.bsky.social [ View ] Mar 07, 2024 at 12:43 UTC

There was me, that is Jerry, and my three droogs, that is Elaine, Georgie, and Kramer, Kramer being really Kramer, and we sat in the Monk's Cafe making up rassoodocks what to do with the evening, a flip dark chill winter bastard though dry.

1 replies 3 reposts 12 likes

Guy Kelly @brainmage.bsky.social [ View ] Mar 05, 2024 at 13:35 UTC

<3

0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes

Guy Kelly @brainmage.bsky.social [ View ] Mar 05, 2024 at 12:01 UTC

It's been a year since I launched Hyperfocus Photography!
Turns out I'm quite good at taking pictures! People across the world have bought them!

Then twitter's reach got hobbled...
If you would like to support a neurodivergent photographer, please do share x

hyperfocus.photography

2 replies 48 reposts 41 likes

Guy Kelly @brainmage.bsky.social [ View ] Mar 04, 2024 at 17:26 UTC

Episode 91 of I Don't Like Mondays is out now! Hot dog wine! Bum cleaning! Cholera! A Kitten purrs directly into the mic! It's a Garfield podcast! Get it here, and on all podcast apps x

soundcloud.com/idlmpodcast/...

0 replies 4 reposts 3 likes

Guy Kelly @brainmage.bsky.social [ View ] Mar 04, 2024 at 17:26 UTC

Episode 91 of I Don't Like Mondays is out now! Hot dog wine! Bum cleaning! Cholera! A Kitten purrs directly into the mic! It's a Garfield podcast! Get it here, and on all podcast apps x

soundcloud.com/idlmpodcast/...

0 replies 4 reposts 3 likes

Guy Kelly @brainmage.bsky.social [ View ] Feb 28, 2024 at 16:10 UTC

Noisome is when you have group sex with fellas wearing their one-man-band kits

2 replies 1 reposts 6 likes

Guy Kelly @brainmage.bsky.social [ View ] Feb 28, 2024 at 14:07 UTC

oh NO

0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes

Guy Kelly @brainmage.bsky.social [ View ] Feb 28, 2024 at 13:56 UTC

Episode 91 of I Don't Like Mondays is now available for patreon backers! Hot dog wine! Cholera! Office bum cleaning! Everything you could want from a Garfield podcast, without all the "Garfield" bumf!

Not a backer? Search I Don't Like Mondays on your podcast app!

www.patreon.com/posts/episod...

0 replies 2 reposts 2 likes

Guy Kelly @brainmage.bsky.social [ View ] Feb 28, 2024 at 13:53 UTC

also HEY we are DELIGHTS

0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes

Guy Kelly @brainmage.bsky.social [ View ] Feb 28, 2024 at 13:52 UTC

TELL ME EVERYTHING

1 replies 0 reposts 0 likes

Guy Kelly @brainmage.bsky.social [ View ] Feb 28, 2024 at 13:52 UTC

I have recently taken to singing "Hangin' around in Oswestry" to the tune of "Rockin' around the Christmas tree". Exactly why my brain has decided to earworm me with notions of being at a loose end in a Shropshire town, I'm not sure, but by god it won't let me stop.

2 replies 0 reposts 16 likes

Guy Kelly @brainmage.bsky.social [ View ] Feb 27, 2024 at 11:26 UTC

Today's lunchtime cryptic crossword stream starts at 1pm! What a time to be alive! A crossword! That you don't have to solve!

I mean, technically that's all crosswords, but you know what I mean.

Twitch.tv/brainmage

0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes

Guy Kelly @brainmage.bsky.social [ View ] Feb 26, 2024 at 21:05 UTC

Going to stream my lunchtime cryptic crossword at 2115 today! That's in ten minutes! Definitely lunchtime!

Twitch.tv/brainmage

0 replies 1 reposts 2 likes

Guy Kelly @brainmage.bsky.social [ View ] Feb 26, 2024 at 20:59 UTC

We've not released a new episode today because time got away from us, so why not listen to last week's episode of I Don't Like Mondays and find out whether being a Dracula is a protected characteristic!

on.soundcloud.com/XtL8oKdg7qcH...

0 replies 0 reposts 3 likes

Guy Kelly @brainmage.bsky.social [ View ] Feb 26, 2024 at 10:38 UTC

Ahh neat, I'm glad you enjoyed it! Thanks!

0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes

Guy Kelly @brainmage.bsky.social [ View ] Feb 26, 2024 at 10:01 UTC

I'll check out the funk soul brother in my own time, thank you very much

0 replies 12 reposts 34 likes

Guy Kelly @brainmage.bsky.social [ View ] Feb 23, 2024 at 13:02 UTC

YES

0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes

Guy Kelly @brainmage.bsky.social [ View ] Oct 19, 2023 at 10:40 UTC

"Et les grosses têtes géantes, elles envoyaient des messages, non? Les grosses têtes géantes. Elles envoyaient, elles envoyaient leurs messages, leurs messa- parceque les têtes étaient géantes n’est ce pas? Grosses et gigantesques...” - French Stewart Lee

2 replies 2 reposts 6 likes

Guy Kelly @brainmage.bsky.social [ View ] Feb 21, 2024 at 13:44 UTC

Aww, thank you!

1 replies 0 reposts 0 likes

Guy Kelly @brainmage.bsky.social [ View ] Feb 21, 2024 at 11:42 UTC

Today's lunchtime cryptic crossword stream starts at 1pm! What a thrill! Crosswords! That you can watch!! Can you imagine?!?

Twitch.tv/brainmage

0 replies 0 reposts 2 likes

Guy Kelly @brainmage.bsky.social [ View ] Feb 20, 2024 at 15:58 UTC

There is a new ep of the silly podcast I make with my wife! Recording this brings me great joy, & I can honestly say that it has the least amount of Garfield content of any Garfield-themed podcast that I know of. Do give it a listen! Available on all podcast wossnames

soundcloud.com/idlmpodcast/...

0 replies 7 reposts 11 likes

Guy Kelly @brainmage.bsky.social [ View ] Feb 20, 2024 at 15:58 UTC

There is a new ep of the silly podcast I make with my wife! Recording this brings me great joy, & I can honestly say that it has the least amount of Garfield content of any Garfield-themed podcast that I know of. Do give it a listen! Available on all podcast wossnames

soundcloud.com/idlmpodcast/...

0 replies 7 reposts 11 likes

Guy Kelly @brainmage.bsky.social [ View ] Feb 20, 2024 at 15:40 UTC

If you're at a loose end, you could do a lot worse* than joining me and my chat as I solve a cryptic crossword! It's happening right now! Never seen a cryptic before? Perfect! You're not asked to help in any way, yet STILL some viewers have accidentally learned how to solve them

twitch.tv/brainmage

0 replies 2 reposts 7 likes