elf™

elf™ @elfy.bsky.social [ View ] Jul 11, 2024 at 03:49 UTC

Swole? Better see a doctorb about that....

0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes

elf™ @elfy.bsky.social [ View ] Jul 08, 2024 at 19:54 UTC

What was that film she was in....Footloose, or something?

1 replies 0 reposts 1 likes

elf™ @elfy.bsky.social [ View ] Jul 06, 2024 at 17:08 UTC

its the editors/owners that are so mindless...they want to suck up to a dictator, not realizing that if he takes over they will be out of a job if they are lucky if they arent lucky then they'd be shoved in the woodchipper

0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes

elf™ @elfy.bsky.social [ View ] Jul 06, 2024 at 13:42 UTC

Oh the Post eating Donnies ass again, eh. How about you report how mentally unfit and basically brain damaged Donald Trump is? Assholes.

1 replies 0 reposts 2 likes

elf™ @elfy.bsky.social [ View ] Jul 06, 2024 at 10:24 UTC

taking a nap? also: i had to go poops

1 replies 0 reposts 1 likes

elf™ @elfy.bsky.social [ View ] Jul 05, 2024 at 20:11 UTC

i heard that~ am not!

1 replies 0 reposts 2 likes

elf™ @elfy.bsky.social [ View ] Jul 05, 2024 at 19:48 UTC

i had a rice cooker...until one day...

2 replies 1 reposts 2 likes

elf™ @elfy.bsky.social [ View ] Jul 05, 2024 at 11:57 UTC

Crimpin' aint easy....unless you have a crimper, then yus it is

0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes

elf™ @elfy.bsky.social [ View ] Jul 04, 2024 at 17:56 UTC

Pictured: Jim Dandy

0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes

elf™ @elfy.bsky.social [ View ] Jul 01, 2024 at 16:44 UTC

Make a band bready The Grateful Bread

0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes

elf™ @elfy.bsky.social [ View ] Jul 01, 2024 at 00:35 UTC

under the fridge? i been doing stuffs

0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes

elf™ @elfy.bsky.social [ View ] Jun 30, 2024 at 15:24 UTC

i am NOT! *runs off sobbing*

3 replies 0 reposts 4 likes

elf™ @elfy.bsky.social [ View ] Jun 30, 2024 at 15:24 UTC

meanwhile, i was the only person wearing a mask in the grocery yesterday.....not sure why folks ignore the fact that the pandemic isnt over..

2 replies 0 reposts 3 likes

elf™ @elfy.bsky.social [ View ] Jun 28, 2024 at 15:21 UTC

*raises paw* I did? I did!

0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes

elf™ @elfy.bsky.social [ View ] Jun 26, 2024 at 21:32 UTC

mmmm, chicken fingers.....hold up, them lil fookers dont have no fingers.....they got *claws*

0 replies 0 reposts 2 likes

elf™ @elfy.bsky.social [ View ] Jun 26, 2024 at 14:50 UTC

id tell them the story of when the producer pissed me TF off....

1 replies 0 reposts 0 likes

elf™ @elfy.bsky.social [ View ] Jun 18, 2024 at 22:05 UTC

stats? is this baseball? ...bowling?

0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes

elf™ @elfy.bsky.social [ View ] Jun 16, 2024 at 18:36 UTC

1 of them is 'too many'

0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes

elf™ @elfy.bsky.social [ View ] Jun 16, 2024 at 15:28 UTC

not growing, shrinking in numbers but VERY vocal people leave the Churches in mass amounts for a reason: its all horseshit and the ones left are *these* people

1 replies 0 reposts 2 likes

elf™ @elfy.bsky.social [ View ] Jun 16, 2024 at 15:27 UTC

*goes to Church, then Brunch....acts like a total asshole for the rest of the week*

0 replies 0 reposts 2 likes

elf™ @elfy.bsky.social [ View ] Jun 15, 2024 at 15:14 UTC

hes a moron

0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes

elf™ @elfy.bsky.social [ View ] Jun 11, 2024 at 16:32 UTC

Made by moosens, for mooses ONLY

0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes

elf™ @elfy.bsky.social [ View ] Jun 11, 2024 at 11:39 UTC

Its made by:

1 replies 0 reposts 8 likes

elf™ @elfy.bsky.social [ View ] Jun 09, 2024 at 13:14 UTC

what? GROSSS! ps, pass the STEAK FRIES....

0 replies 0 reposts 2 likes

elf™ @elfy.bsky.social [ View ] Jun 09, 2024 at 09:54 UTC

Chumming soon to a theater near you?

0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes

elf™ @elfy.bsky.social [ View ] Jun 07, 2024 at 13:53 UTC

wait, its not a cricket eating team is it? i might...participate...

1 replies 1 reposts 3 likes

elf™ @elfy.bsky.social [ View ] Jun 03, 2024 at 21:48 UTC

Ham Panties is the name of my Slayer/Earth, Wind, and Fire mashup band..

0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes

elf™ @elfy.bsky.social [ View ] Jun 02, 2024 at 18:24 UTC

*makes more dictionary entries, on Bounty paper towels and felt tip marker*

0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes

elf™ @elfy.bsky.social [ View ] Jun 02, 2024 at 17:32 UTC

*looks in elf dictionary where weaponing is in fact worded*

1 replies 0 reposts 7 likes

elf™ @elfy.bsky.social [ View ] May 23, 2024 at 23:58 UTC

OMFG IT TASTES LIKE 2 HOURS OF MAMAS FAMILY....halp halp

0 replies 1 reposts 2 likes

elf™ @elfy.bsky.social [ View ] May 22, 2024 at 20:10 UTC

Its nice till more folks like it, then we're screwed...I like it as it is, too. Who wants candy? mmmmm, candy.

0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes

elf™ @elfy.bsky.social [ View ] May 22, 2024 at 20:08 UTC

Ready for DMs

0 replies 0 reposts 3 likes

elf™ @elfy.bsky.social [ View ] May 22, 2024 at 20:06 UTC

Great so now we have DMs too? Meh...

0 replies 1 reposts 5 likes

elf™ @elfy.bsky.social [ View ] May 22, 2024 at 14:50 UTC

I prefer not to be Pope again, twice was plenty..

0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes

elf™ @elfy.bsky.social [ View ] May 21, 2024 at 01:07 UTC

yah it would make me nuts too...braided pubes...

0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes

elf™ @elfy.bsky.social [ View ] May 20, 2024 at 13:58 UTC

Was there any Gravity spotted in the area?

0 replies 0 reposts 2 likes

elf™ @elfy.bsky.social [ View ] May 20, 2024 at 01:28 UTC

Rufus saw his first boobie on Dead Tour It belonged to a 81 year old hippy lady

3 replies 1 reposts 4 likes

elf™ @elfy.bsky.social [ View ] May 19, 2024 at 08:35 UTC

*raises paw* iffen im 8/9ths of the problem do I need to keep at it, or accept that I might be at my limit? I feel I have more problem in me, I just need to get in touch with it. also: wud tacos help?

1 replies 0 reposts 1 likes

elf™ @elfy.bsky.social [ View ] May 18, 2024 at 23:02 UTC

blub, you say?

1 replies 0 reposts 1 likes

elf™ @elfy.bsky.social [ View ] May 17, 2024 at 18:35 UTC

Bush II was a total fucking disaster and the American Public are morons to forget this lesson. He was, is, and forever shall be a massive fuckup. And then they voted for Trump? Jesus H. Christ! HOW STUPID ARE YOU MF'ERS!

0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes

elf™ @elfy.bsky.social [ View ] May 17, 2024 at 16:53 UTC

sexy antlers......ive said too much..

0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes

elf™ @elfy.bsky.social [ View ] May 17, 2024 at 12:55 UTC

Pictured: Moose

1 replies 0 reposts 2 likes

elf™ @elfy.bsky.social [ View ] May 16, 2024 at 19:40 UTC

0 replies 0 reposts 3 likes

elf™ @elfy.bsky.social [ View ] May 16, 2024 at 18:12 UTC

Dad?

0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes

elf™ @elfy.bsky.social [ View ] May 16, 2024 at 16:30 UTC

but i have a rusty hacksaw and bolt cutters...what do? BRB hes peeing AGAIN......omg not IN the microwave....fook!

0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes

elf™ @elfy.bsky.social [ View ] May 16, 2024 at 15:09 UTC

*phones in* Yeah, hi, long time listener, first time caller......I love my dog but he keeps humping everyone and everything, also he tends to mark his spots all over the house? What do I do to fix this?

1 replies 0 reposts 2 likes

elf™ @elfy.bsky.social [ View ] May 16, 2024 at 00:23 UTC

1 replies 0 reposts 1 likes

elf™ @elfy.bsky.social [ View ] May 16, 2024 at 00:22 UTC

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elf™ @elfy.bsky.social [ View ] May 15, 2024 at 02:03 UTC

*puts in finger....aw yissss*

1 replies 0 reposts 1 likes

elf™ @elfy.bsky.social [ View ] May 14, 2024 at 21:57 UTC

SWOOOSHHHH!

0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes