Mark Twain hated the Fourth of July.
He was often invited to speak at Independence Day festivities. His audiences assumed that his reliably unpatriotic remarks were tongue-in-cheek jests.
But he meant that shit.
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I saw Hal Holbrook do Mark Twain to an audience of moneyed Virginians shortly after the 2017 inauguration. He obliged them with 10 minutes of the usual stuff, then spent the rest doing Mark’s material in this vein. Played to near silence except me and the librarian next to me, hooting with approval.
They laughed heartily when he said, in Keokuk in 1886, that the best thing a speaker could do on such an occasion was sit down, which he then did.
They laughed in 1899 when he suggested the holiday was "only sacred" to "the surgeon, the undertaker, & the insurance offices."
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