Matthew Garrett's avatar

Matthew Garrett

@mjg59.eicar-test-file.zip

2801 followers 77 following 1213 posts

Former biologist. Actual PhD in genetics. Security at aurora.tech, OS security teaching at www.ischool.berkeley.edu.
Blog: mjg59.dreamwidth.org
Signal: @mjg.59
He/him


Matthew Garrett's avatar Matthew Garrett @mjg59.eicar-test-file.zip
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Nonthreatening (complimentary)

1 replies 0 reposts 1 likes


Matthew Garrett's avatar Matthew Garrett @mjg59.eicar-test-file.zip
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We're hearing that Rishi Sunak is currently in a white Ford Bronco circling the M25, avoiding resignation

1 replies 1 reposts 12 likes


Matthew Garrett's avatar Matthew Garrett @mjg59.eicar-test-file.zip
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Ok look tonight does not leave me feeling positive about the future but Rees Mogg losing is objectively fucking hilarious

1 replies 2 reposts 26 likes


Matthew Garrett's avatar Matthew Garrett @mjg59.eicar-test-file.zip
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For this run we're going to be exploiting the "First Past The Post" mechanic by splitting the Conservative vote, this does have the problem that it would enable the rise of fascism in the 2029 edition but thankfully we don't have to worry about that in this playthrough

0 replies 2 reposts 21 likes


Matthew Garrett's avatar Matthew Garrett @mjg59.eicar-test-file.zip
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Hi welcome to Summer Games Done Quick, tonight we're going for Labour majority any %

1 replies 2 reposts 23 likes


Matthew Garrett's avatar Matthew Garrett @mjg59.eicar-test-file.zip
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Attempting to explain UK election results to my spouse and realising that I'm going to need to start in the 17th century

2 replies 0 reposts 30 likes


Matthew Garrett's avatar Matthew Garrett @mjg59.eicar-test-file.zip
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Look do not ask me to make my trolls intellectually rigorous

0 replies 0 reposts 2 likes


Matthew Garrett's avatar Matthew Garrett @mjg59.eicar-test-file.zip
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I bet you can

0 replies 0 reposts 2 likes


Matthew Garrett's avatar Matthew Garrett @mjg59.eicar-test-file.zip
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Bwahahahahaha

9 replies 11 reposts 83 likes


Matthew Garrett's avatar Matthew Garrett @mjg59.eicar-test-file.zip
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Thinking about how much absolute damage the Cheeky Nando's meme did to British culture

0 replies 0 reposts 5 likes


Matthew Garrett's avatar Matthew Garrett @mjg59.eicar-test-file.zip
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My "Julian Assange is a criminal" T-shirt has people asking a lot of questions already answered by my shirt, and boy is it helping me figure out who to avoid talking to ever again

1 replies 4 reposts 32 likes


Matthew Garrett's avatar Matthew Garrett @mjg59.eicar-test-file.zip
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Considering doing @edjeff.bsky.social's edjefferson.com/winning-the-... but taking the actual lottery numbers for each week and re-ordering his posts to (a) maximise payout and (b) define the canonically correct order to watch every Nicolas Cage film as a result

0 replies 0 reposts 2 likes


Matthew Garrett's avatar Matthew Garrett @mjg59.eicar-test-file.zip
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Because I clearly hate myself, I wrote a thread elsewhere about various common misconceptions about the Assange cases: nondeterministic.computer/@mjg59/11267...

2 replies 1 reposts 13 likes


Matthew Garrett's avatar Matthew Garrett @mjg59.eicar-test-file.zip
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If it's our patriotic duty not to disclose vulnerabilities that an allied government wants to use, it's presumably also our patriotic duty to ensure that vulnerabilities exist in the first place. Therefore, Rust is unpatriotic.

1 replies 3 reposts 24 likes


Matthew Garrett's avatar Matthew Garrett @mjg59.eicar-test-file.zip
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poppopret.org/2024/06/24/g...

4 replies 0 reposts 8 likes


Matthew Garrett's avatar Matthew Garrett @mjg59.eicar-test-file.zip
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"Sometimes an exploit burned is also a human resource burned. Sometimes it’s a human killed" and sometimes a vulnerability burned is also a human saved what the fuck is wrong with you

1 replies 4 reposts 38 likes


Matthew Garrett's avatar Matthew Garrett @mjg59.eicar-test-file.zip
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"It's inappropriate to burn exploits that are being used by western governments" is *way* too close to "It's legitimate to introduce deliberate vulnerabilities for the use of western governments" for me to take anyone arguing it seriously

5 replies 12 reposts 57 likes


Matthew Garrett's avatar Matthew Garrett @mjg59.eicar-test-file.zip
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Ah fuck why is this without context enough for me to know what you're talking about

2 replies 0 reposts 12 likes


Matthew Garrett's avatar Matthew Garrett @mjg59.eicar-test-file.zip
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(In this case the breakage is that one of the three US credit bureaus believes I lived at an address in Somerville in 2016, which is probably a false positive from my ex-wife, but means any identity validation where that address I had never previously heard of shows up is one I fail)

0 replies 0 reposts 13 likes


Matthew Garrett's avatar Matthew Garrett @mjg59.eicar-test-file.zip
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I keep trying to do entirely normal things like obtain phone service and I keep hitting entirely bizarre obstacles and I still do not understand whether I am unusually unlucky or whether this happens to everyone and we just never talk about how opaquely broken *everything* is

7 replies 5 reposts 39 likes


Matthew Garrett's avatar Matthew Garrett @mjg59.eicar-test-file.zip
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Fucking screaming

9 replies 1 reposts 39 likes


Matthew Garrett's avatar Matthew Garrett @mjg59.eicar-test-file.zip
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Cops:fentanyl :: Elon:OpenAI

0 replies 2 reposts 12 likes


Matthew Garrett's avatar Matthew Garrett @mjg59.eicar-test-file.zip
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It's actually possible with recent openssh but it's kind of awkward

0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes


Matthew Garrett's avatar Matthew Garrett @mjg59.eicar-test-file.zip
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I wrote about how you can just use the SSH agent protocol to forward whatever the fuck you want from a remote system: mjg59.dreamwidth.org/69646.html

3 replies 9 reposts 38 likes


Matthew Garrett's avatar Matthew Garrett @mjg59.eicar-test-file.zip
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Who wins, Cliff Wife or Flag Wife

0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes


Matthew Garrett's avatar Matthew Garrett @mjg59.eicar-test-file.zip
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Got home and this is in the fridge?

9 replies 0 reposts 21 likes


Matthew Garrett's avatar Matthew Garrett @mjg59.eicar-test-file.zip
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Yup

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Matthew Garrett's avatar Matthew Garrett @mjg59.eicar-test-file.zip
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So cursed that the reference implementation was forced to become bug for bug compatible with the Microsoft implementation because that's all that was tested against

1 replies 2 reposts 5 likes


Matthew Garrett's avatar Matthew Garrett @mjg59.eicar-test-file.zip
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(ACPI has entered the chat)

1 replies 0 reposts 7 likes


Matthew Garrett's avatar Matthew Garrett @mjg59.eicar-test-file.zip
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Capital city of a prosperous EU nation and there's still a station where an auld fella has to come out and close the gates whenever there's a train coming

2 replies 1 reposts 11 likes


Matthew Garrett's avatar Matthew Garrett @mjg59.eicar-test-file.zip
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I appreciate that seeing these two posts without the original still left me knowing exactly what the picture would be

0 replies 0 reposts 2 likes


Matthew Garrett's avatar Matthew Garrett @mjg59.eicar-test-file.zip
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Labour: *through sobs* you can't just say everything is taxed.... Please.... Sunak: *points at seagull flying past* taxed

3 replies 2 reposts 16 likes


Reposted by Matthew Garrett

Pavel's avatar Pavel @spavel.bsky.social
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To end this tired debate once and for all: the G in "GIF" is pronounced as in "gnome"

17 replies 15 reposts 77 likes


Reposted by Matthew Garrett

Richard Gaywood's avatar Richard Gaywood @penllawen.favrd.social
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EVERY MORNING I WAKE UP AND OPEN PALM SLAM A VHS INTO THE SLOT. ITS TRUMPS CONVICTION AND RIGHT THEN AND THERE I START DOING THE MOVES ALONGSIDE WITH THE MAIN CHARACTER, ALVIN BRAGG. I DO EVERY MOVE AND I DO EVERY MOVE HARD. MAKIN WHOOSHING SOUNDS WHEN I CROSS EXAMINE SOME LYING WITNESS BASTARDS

0 replies 6 reposts 15 likes


Matthew Garrett's avatar Matthew Garrett @mjg59.eicar-test-file.zip
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Yeah the typeface is a little unclear and I don't like the kerning

0 replies 0 reposts 7 likes


Reposted by Matthew Garrett

SmallBu Animation's avatar SmallBu Animation @smallbu.bsky.social
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Happy Pride to you Bluesky 🏳️‍🌈

124 replies 615 reposts 2436 likes


Reposted by Matthew Garrett

Jonty Wareing's avatar Jonty Wareing @jonty.bsky.social
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To be clear, when we said "leave your unwanted junk in the swap shop" we did not mean radioactive material #emfcamp

2 replies 8 reposts 30 likes


Matthew Garrett's avatar Matthew Garrett @mjg59.eicar-test-file.zip
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I'm at a festival and someone brought nuclear sources

4 replies 0 reposts 13 likes


Matthew Garrett's avatar Matthew Garrett @mjg59.eicar-test-file.zip
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If I'd started from anywhere near Kings Cross that would have been my plan, but given I woke up in Paddington an hour before my train…

2 replies 0 reposts 3 likes


Matthew Garrett's avatar Matthew Garrett @mjg59.eicar-test-file.zip
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It's somewhat astonishing how invested you all are in my pre-packaged culinary choices

1 replies 0 reposts 4 likes


Matthew Garrett's avatar Matthew Garrett @mjg59.eicar-test-file.zip
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Maybe I'll buy a scotch egg for the train tomorrow

0 replies 0 reposts 5 likes


Matthew Garrett's avatar Matthew Garrett @mjg59.eicar-test-file.zip
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It's not that I chose this hotel purely because it's directly above an M&S and I immediately bought a sandwich, some sausage rolls, and some canned cocktails, but it's probably at least 50% of the reason

2 replies 0 reposts 12 likes