i think my most illogical but unshakeable belief is that eventually i will 'get around to all of it'. I will read through the booklist, the movie list, I will learn all that math and physics, I will speak russian, I will become ok at chess, I will make an album, and so on
I get this feeling lately that in chipping away at these goals, certain desires lose their significance or just kinda work themselves. i realize for example that i don't have to read every book cover to cover to experience it to my satisfaction. and so the task is less infinite than it seemed
every now and then i do chip away a chunk of it. the unavoidable fact that it grows much faster than I ever chip away at it... well as a matter of fact I avoid that
my entire existence each day at this time is wiggling against the backlog which I recognize as an incredible privilege but also still feels like this and occasionally feels worse upon successful chips
however, I believe that slowly it adds up and weaves together whether in fit bursts or brain dream