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Angus McIntyre
@angusm.bsky.social
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It's not the rigidity, it's the frigidity.
0 replies 0 reposts 20 likes
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Angus McIntyre@angusm.bsky.social |
159 followers 160 following 948 posts
SF/F author (“The Warrior Within” etc.) Photographer. Programmer. Allegedly sentient mammal. Contents may settle after packing. [he/him]
angus.pw/ - SF/F writing
raingod.com/ - Photos & more
disoriented.net/ - Travel & photo blog
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Angus McIntyre
@angusm.bsky.social
[ View ] |
It's not the rigidity, it's the frigidity.
0 replies 0 reposts 20 likes
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Angus McIntyre
@angusm.bsky.social
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Next up, in today's edition of "Life-Changing Auto-Correct Errors" ...
0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
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Angus McIntyre
@angusm.bsky.social
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Why does the unicorn have a skull for a face, Premee? Is this some kind of a trick? You wouldn't just lure your readers into the dark, scary woods and then leave them there to get eaten by unfleshed nightmare quadrupeds, would you? WOULD YOU????
0 replies 0 reposts 2 likes
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Angus McIntyre
@angusm.bsky.social
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"Come to the OSHA Side, young Jedi. We have safety features."
0 replies 0 reposts 14 likes
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Angus McIntyre
@angusm.bsky.social
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"We can take vast amounts of money from unaccountable right-wing billionaires to utterly destroy the democratic basis of this nation, and we don't have to pay a penny in taxes on any of it!" "I know! I love it! Is this a great country or what?" "Sure is. For now. But we're working to change that."
0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
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Angus McIntyre
@angusm.bsky.social
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But why "III" and "IV"? Why not "IIIa" and "IIIb"?
1 replies 0 reposts 6 likes
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Angus McIntyre
@angusm.bsky.social
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As someone who has recently been (in order) an Internet virologist/epidemiologist, aviation safety expert, bridge engineer, criminal defense lawyer and constitutional scholar, here's my informed opinion on what exactly the Democrats are getting wrong in the US election.
0 replies 1 reposts 4 likes
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Angus McIntyre
@angusm.bsky.social
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"When September Ends" by Green Day. I used to work in a small office where my colleagues put on AM radio to listen to and that song came up so frequently in the rotation that I started to wonder if I WAS in Hell.
1 replies 1 reposts 5 likes
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Angus McIntyre
@angusm.bsky.social
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I'm sorry, "killed by boulders"? What? You can't just leave us like that, with no explanation. Why? How? Who? Or did the boulders just kill them by themselves? I don't want to blame the victims, but WHAT HAD THEY DONE TO UPSET THE BOULDERS?
1 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Richard Kadrey
@richardkadrey.bsky.social
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We’re less than $2K away from bringing my lost novel, KAMIKAZE L’AMOUR, back into print! With 3 days to go can we push it over the top? Please take a look and consider backing it. Thanks!
www.kickstarter.com/projects/kam...
1 replies 24 reposts 25 likes
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Angus McIntyre
@angusm.bsky.social
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Yes, but if you just ignore for a moment all the stuff about devouring children and condemning the elderly to work in his radiation mines, Slothrax the Annihilator DOES make some good points about alternate-side parking, & I think it's important for our readers to hear both points of view.
1 replies 0 reposts 12 likes
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Angus McIntyre
@angusm.bsky.social
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I think it's cool that our political system includes a mechanism that is actively designed to suppress the wishes of the majority. I mean, any democracy can have FPTP voting or whatever, but this particular form of anti-democratic fine-tuning is a uniquely American invention & we should be proud.
0 replies 0 reposts 6 likes
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Angus McIntyre
@angusm.bsky.social
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We know we're not in the VERY worst timeline yet, because if we were then RFK jr would have joined the debates and the moderator would be asking the candidates whether they thought jet fuel could melt steel beams or not.
0 replies 0 reposts 4 likes
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Angus McIntyre
@angusm.bsky.social
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Mrs Sauron: How was your day, Dark Lord? Sauron: (gestures) Oh, you know, this & that. Just busy with evil. Mrs S: Mmm. S: You know, however much I do, there's always more. Some days I think I'll never get to the end of my be-evil list. Mrs S: There, there. Sit down. I'll get your slippers.
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Angus McIntyre
@angusm.bsky.social
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I always think of Rory McLeod's song, "Singing Copper": "Between the big criminals and little thieves. It's the big thieves rule the land. They put a penny in the pot for the poor With one hand. And with the other take another And a thousand more."
1 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Angus McIntyre
@angusm.bsky.social
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The best part is when the cops catch up with you and you can use the Iceni mind trick and tell them "These are not the druids you're looking for."
0 replies 1 reposts 5 likes
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Angus McIntyre
@angusm.bsky.social
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Can't decide between a tabby and a calico for your Caturday treat? ¿Porque no los dos?
1 replies 0 reposts 4 likes
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Angus McIntyre
@angusm.bsky.social
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I gave mine away because the demon couldn't read my handwriting. RYUK: What the fuck is this supposed to say? Viedimar Puling? Never heard of him. Pass.
0 replies 0 reposts 3 likes
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Angus McIntyre
@angusm.bsky.social
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Squid erat demonstrandum.
0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
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Matthew Kressel
@matthewkressel.net
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My non-fiction book of writing advice, DISPATCHES FROM THE OUTER DEEP, is on sale for only $4.99 (ebook) for an Amazon Countdown deal for the next 24 hrs. amzn.to/4ePAfgy
0 replies 1 reposts 0 likes
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Premee Mohamed
@premeemohamed.com
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HAPPY FRIDAY my people, today is a good day to pick up a book by a HUGE LARGE BUG!
"WHY DO YOU HAVE SO MANY BOOKS OUT" I don't know, do we want a little guide or something?? I can do that!
premeemohamed.com/books/
4 replies 56 reposts 118 likes
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Angus McIntyre
@angusm.bsky.social
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Trust me, it was awful. We had to share our hot takes on imminent doom on 3x5 index cards duct-taped to lampposts. Discourse could take weeks instead of hours, and whole threads could be lost if it rained. If you wanted to block someone, you had to take a Sharpie to their index cards.
0 replies 0 reposts 5 likes
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Angus McIntyre
@angusm.bsky.social
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STAGES OF REASONING 1. It's untrue. 2. It wasn't Trump who did it, it was Biden. 3. OK, maybe it was true, but it doesn't matter. 4. Democrats hate Trump because he creates job opportunities for young people.
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Angus McIntyre
@angusm.bsky.social
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How many more Prime Ministers does Larry have to outlast before they just bow to the inevitable and give him the job?
1 replies 1 reposts 13 likes
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Angus McIntyre
@angusm.bsky.social
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This is starting to sound like the most compelling pay-per-view spectacle of a lifetime. Where do I subscribe?
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Angus McIntyre
@angusm.bsky.social
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The important thing is that by doing nothing but amplifying Republican attacks on Biden, the liberal media can't be accused of displaying bias against Donald Trump. Discussing the only sane candidate's flaws instead of raising alarm about his sociopathic opponent is the mark of quality journalism.
1 replies 4 reposts 22 likes
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Angus McIntyre
@angusm.bsky.social
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That's just for the run-of-the-mill prisoners. The true prisoners of conscience, the real thorns in the side of the regime, will be fed stale vending-machine muffins with 'Real' Blueberry™, a 'blueberry-like' synthetic compound made of high-fructose corn syrup, PFAS, food dyes & fracking runoff.
0 replies 0 reposts 3 likes
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Richard Kadrey
@richardkadrey.bsky.social
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The project to being my long lost novel, KAMIKAZE L’AMOUR, back into print is doing well, but with 10 days to go, it could use some help to push it over the top. Please take a look at the project and consider backing it. Thanks!
kck.st/4bRv91i
0 replies 11 reposts 8 likes
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Angus McIntyre
@angusm.bsky.social
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You had me at "space". And "cat".
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Angus McIntyre
@angusm.bsky.social
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Even though it's Caturday, our current foster (Chonkenstein's Monster, Count Chonkula, other names TBD) continues to be unamused.
0 replies 2 reposts 6 likes
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Angus McIntyre
@angusm.bsky.social
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Every tech-bro ever: Sorry, I can't hear you over the sound of my neurally-controlled AI sex-slave/killing-machines, powering up to defend my Torment Nexus mainframes against the fleshy human rabble.
0 replies 0 reposts 2 likes
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Angus McIntyre
@angusm.bsky.social
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"In Space, No One Can Just Call An Uber and Go Home."
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Angus McIntyre
@angusm.bsky.social
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"No, no, we're the Jedi Hairdressers. The Jedi Council is next door." (points to advertising poster on the wall that says "I let a Sith cut my hair and it went to the Dark Side")
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Angus McIntyre
@angusm.bsky.social
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Only in backward, developing countries, where coup plotters do not enjoy special rights and privileges and the tacit encouragement of the most powerful institutions in the land.
0 replies 1 reposts 1 likes
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Angus McIntyre
@angusm.bsky.social
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In case anyone had forgotten that we are living in the stupidest timeline.
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Angus McIntyre
@angusm.bsky.social
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Can you say where you read this? This sounds like something I’d like to know more about. Thank you.
0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
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Angus McIntyre
@angusm.bsky.social
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The term "commonplace gratuities" implies the existence of "extraordinary gratuities", and I would like to hear more about those, perhaps with a list of names and amounts.
0 replies 0 reposts 2 likes
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Angus McIntyre
@angusm.bsky.social
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Possibly. He has the clipped ear that indicates he’s been through a trap-neuter-release program (or maybe he just got too close to a strimmer). Whoever did it took a lot of his ear, poor creature. We’ll try to find out more about his history. But he’s very happy around people, so not TOO feral.
1 replies 0 reposts 4 likes
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Angus McIntyre
@angusm.bsky.social
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"We're used to seeing the tornado as a villain. But what if … hear me out … what if we saw things from the tornado's point of view? No? OK, try this. She's a city girl, but she goes back to her hometown for Christmas. And who does she meet? It's the tornado she hasn't seen since she moved away."
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Angus McIntyre
@angusm.bsky.social
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It's time to renew my ProofOfCat. This is our current house guest, a charming creature whose only major flaw is a tendency to sit on your head at 3AM. He is a solid beast, so although he came to us already named, I have been referring to him as Chonkenstein's Monster.
#ProofOfCat
6 replies 7 reposts 191 likes
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Angus McIntyre
@angusm.bsky.social
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Refuted: seagulls eat a lot of garbage, but even they have some standards.
1 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
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Angus McIntyre
@angusm.bsky.social
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The recommended fix for this issue is to wait for global warming to inundate wherever the Cybertruck broke down, whereupon it turns into a boat and floats(*) away. Try that in a conventional vehicle! (*) for a little while at least.
0 replies 0 reposts 12 likes
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Angus McIntyre
@angusm.bsky.social
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In related news, four new entries have been added to the Endangered Species List.
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Angus McIntyre
@angusm.bsky.social
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There should be a Law of Conservation of Alpacas, that states that any alpaca removed from one picture must automatically appear in some other picture. The choice of picture is either random, or left to the alpaca.
2 replies 4 reposts 27 likes
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Angus McIntyre
@angusm.bsky.social
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ButterMan and his mortal enemy, I Can't Believe It's Not ButterMan™.
0 replies 0 reposts 2 likes
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Angus McIntyre
@angusm.bsky.social
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Turkeys voting for Christmas. "Let's give the raging man-child who tanked Tesla's share price MORE control over the company, AND dilute the value of our own shares while we're at it. I am a very savvy investor and will not be taking questions at this time."
0 replies 0 reposts 2 likes
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Angus McIntyre
@angusm.bsky.social
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They get more human every day.
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Angus McIntyre
@angusm.bsky.social
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I don't think that Saturn (incest, infanticide, cannibalism), Mars (war), Pluto (abduction, rape), Uranus (child abandonment) are shining role models either. To name only a few. Let's face it, the whole Solar System is pretty much cancelled.
1 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Angus McIntyre
@angusm.bsky.social
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As someone who has spent a lifetime exploiting this assumption, I deplore your proposal. Do you want to take my glasses away as well, and have people instantly realize I’m an imbecile? For shame!
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Angus McIntyre
@angusm.bsky.social
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The ebook of military science-fiction horror flash-fiction anthology "Dread Space 2” (ed. Eric Fomley) is on sale for $0.99 at Amazon currently. It includes my story “Patchwork”, and 21 other short stories.
amzn.to/4cdVyGq
0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes