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the Asherah Prole
@asherahprole.bsky.social
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I can put you in touch with someone who’s hiring for that. It’s not as fun as it sounds and pays shit.
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the Asherah Prole@asherahprole.bsky.social |
12 followers 39 following 100 posts
fat hairy gay Gen-X atheist exvangelical socialist neurodivergent vegetarian linguist gamer Whovian in the Bay Area (Earth Eight)
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the Asherah Prole
@asherahprole.bsky.social
[ View ] |
I can put you in touch with someone who’s hiring for that. It’s not as fun as it sounds and pays shit.
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the Asherah Prole
@asherahprole.bsky.social
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DuckDuckGo. No, it is not.
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the Asherah Prole
@asherahprole.bsky.social
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Our reward for working 100 hour weeks for the past 3 months to get this project off the ground is an extra day off… added to our already unlimited PTO.
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the Asherah Prole
@asherahprole.bsky.social
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Buerre monté seems to be trending
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the Asherah Prole
@asherahprole.bsky.social
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Why? Why is the Cthulhu on this month’s calendar so damn sexy?
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the Asherah Prole
@asherahprole.bsky.social
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I keep getting told to “keep my foot on the gas for this one last ‘final’ push!” and yet they haven’t let me pull into a gas station for several months now
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the Asherah Prole
@asherahprole.bsky.social
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Upon reflection, it was probably the feta, not the hummus.
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the Asherah Prole
@asherahprole.bsky.social
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Make sure you throw him under the bus with your knees, not your back.
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the Asherah Prole
@asherahprole.bsky.social
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The Tractators acquired a taste for human flesh?!
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the Asherah Prole
@asherahprole.bsky.social
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Especially appropriate for my boss, who loves to show me charts in Sheets.
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the Asherah Prole
@asherahprole.bsky.social
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I was waxing poetic in Slack about “the siren song of Lady Philologina” for a while before I realized it was coming across less “philology + nickname for Georgina”, more “philology + vagina”.
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the Asherah Prole
@asherahprole.bsky.social
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Boss: I can’t get Sally to answer me. Me: Throw her laptop off the balcony & put her in a headlock. Boss (only half-listening): I can’t; she might be in a meeting.
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the Asherah Prole
@asherahprole.bsky.social
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How did the caterer get tonight’s hummus to taste EXACTLY like my ex’s balls? 🤮
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the Asherah Prole
@asherahprole.bsky.social
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The premise of the piece is that 1) the Democratic party isn’t being torn apart by any issues (e.g., genocide), 2) a wealthy Wall Street means everybody can afford food & rent, & therefore 3) young people will vote for Biden even as he bans their communication tools & calls their protests violent.
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the Asherah Prole
@asherahprole.bsky.social
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I had to hide my chaat from ma chatte today, and nobody appreciates that pun 😿🥖
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the Asherah Prole
@asherahprole.bsky.social
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Could my first attempt at using the rhetorical question mark have gone any worse⸮
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the Asherah Prole
@asherahprole.bsky.social
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SO close to a Chuck Tingle title
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the Asherah Prole
@asherahprole.bsky.social
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QotD: “This lavender tea better fucking calm me down.”
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the Asherah Prole
@asherahprole.bsky.social
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Packing my bags for Gaydonia now 🏳️🌈
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the Asherah Prole
@asherahprole.bsky.social
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Forgot to add #notaeuphemism
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the Asherah Prole
@asherahprole.bsky.social
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I shouldn’t let myself post after working a 15-hour day
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the Asherah Prole
@asherahprole.bsky.social
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Is it a bad sign that, when my office started offering wine tasting, my first thought was, “If I can taste it, I’m not downing enough of it, quickly enough”?
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the Asherah Prole
@asherahprole.bsky.social
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The arc of my head is long, but it bends toward pedantry
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the Asherah Prole
@asherahprole.bsky.social
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She bit her tongue so hard she gained telepathy
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the Asherah Prole
@asherahprole.bsky.social
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The problem with reusing animal codenames for work projects is that it leads me to say things to my boss like “I’m absolutely swamped with Beavers”, then learning which facial expression means “Well THAT’S got to be a first”.
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the Asherah Prole
@asherahprole.bsky.social
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That man is wearing a meat thermometer as a bracelet charm. #publictransit
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the Asherah Prole
@asherahprole.bsky.social
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The logical course of action, therefore, would be to expend as little effort as possible: There’s no benefit to working hard, and the consequences of slacking will be spread around.
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the Asherah Prole
@asherahprole.bsky.social
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Got an official culture statement from my company yesterday that we will be given none of the credit for our individual successes, and all of the blame for our coworkers’ failures.
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the Asherah Prole
@asherahprole.bsky.social
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When half my Doordash items didn’t show up, I went to file my first ever help ticket (after dozens of deliveries)—and was told I’d already filed too many tickets
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the Asherah Prole
@asherahprole.bsky.social
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Couldn’t figure out why Yuma & Kirri were so adorable until I realized WotC pretty much just copy-pasted Din Djarin & Grogu into their Western MtG set.
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the Asherah Prole
@asherahprole.bsky.social
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Things were looking up until I broke a sweat upgrading my wifi network. Now the burning is so painful I can’t feel the muscle spasms anymore. 🎉👴🏻
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the Asherah Prole
@asherahprole.bsky.social
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My lower back decided 51 years was long enough & joined my knees in retirement. There is now more capsaicin slathered on me than on the Szechuan chicken I had for dinner.
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the Asherah Prole
@asherahprole.bsky.social
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I accidentally requested a *mothly* day off instead of *monthly*. I’m still burnt out AND my shirts have so many holes.
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the Asherah Prole
@asherahprole.bsky.social
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Maybe not New York City rats, the kind that speak more languages than I do & hold a Class C driver’s license. But still.
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the Asherah Prole
@asherahprole.bsky.social
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And I’m thinking about trading in that damn for a couple of rats’ asses.
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the Asherah Prole
@asherahprole.bsky.social
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Sorry, I gave all my fucks and shits at the office and am down to my last damn.
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the Asherah Prole
@asherahprole.bsky.social
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Why is the Substack app so incredibly unfriendly? I haven’t even read my first article & I’m already annoyed enough to delete it off my phone.
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the Asherah Prole
@asherahprole.bsky.social
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TIL it’s a red flag for our security team if they see an email address that has never had its owner’s personal data breached in a hack before 🤣
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the Asherah Prole
@asherahprole.bsky.social
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I’m glad Castro Valley Pride exists, but damn do they have the shittiest website. Just one, full-page script & you can only see it if you use an approved, corporate browser.
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the Asherah Prole
@asherahprole.bsky.social
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Me: *texts a hyperspecific linguistics question* My wingman: “Why do you need to know that?” Me: “It’s trying to flirt with someone.” Me: “*I’m* trying to flirt with someone.” Me: “It’s not wearing its reading glasses.”
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the Asherah Prole
@asherahprole.bsky.social
[ View ] |
That bullshit from yesterday persists. It has subsumed my world. I am that bullshit and it is me. Tell my kids, “Who the Hell are you?”
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the Asherah Prole
@asherahprole.bsky.social
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We’re Gen X. We don’t express any emotion unequivocally.
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the Asherah Prole
@asherahprole.bsky.social
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Oh god I accidentally ordered a dessert chowder from the boba place
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the Asherah Prole
@asherahprole.bsky.social
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A friend handed it to me yonks ago and said, “I think you’ll like this,” and they were so very right. I’ve rarely felt that seen. The series changed my life; it was the first to show me what the medium could truly be capable of. I unequivocally love it.
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the Asherah Prole
@asherahprole.bsky.social
[ View ] |
I immediately went into a standup meeting where I did, indeed, get assigned to put up with that bullshit from yesterday again.
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the Asherah Prole
@asherahprole.bsky.social
[ View ] |
First Slack message I sent out today: “I’m not putting up with that bullshit from yesterday again.”
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the Asherah Prole
@asherahprole.bsky.social
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My dreams are so inscrutable sometimes, ya know?
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the Asherah Prole
@asherahprole.bsky.social
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Really balanced out the dream immediately before, wherein I & an amalgam of all my family members, roommates, and exes screamed at each other in the kitchen all night.
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the Asherah Prole
@asherahprole.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Dreamt my friends invited me to a game night that turned out to be at a porn star’s home. He went around pantsless & broke out a phallus-themed D&D board game.
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the Asherah Prole
@asherahprole.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Dreamt I went to a wedding at my old church & called all the horrible people there “Bitchtians” to their faces. Glad to know my subconscious has got my back. #exvangelical #religious_trauma_survivor
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