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William Gerrard
@billgerrard.bsky.social
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#NewYorkerCartoonCaptionContest
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William Gerrard@billgerrard.bsky.social |
151 followers 212 following 631 posts
The Screenwriter who employs his Leisure ill
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William Gerrard
@billgerrard.bsky.social
[ View ] |
#NewYorkerCartoonCaptionContest
0 replies 2 reposts 4 likes
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William Gerrard
@billgerrard.bsky.social
[ View ] |
#NewYorkerCartoonCaptionContest
0 replies 2 reposts 4 likes
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William Gerrard
@billgerrard.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Thinking back to when Pokémon Go sent players into the Holocaust Museum, and what a bigger story that would be today
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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William Gerrard
@billgerrard.bsky.social
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Sadly Biden can’t count on the support of his Praetorian Guard in the event of a coup because his dog spent the past three years biting them
0 replies 0 reposts 2 likes
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William Gerrard
@billgerrard.bsky.social
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Trying to read today's SCOTUS decision granting full immunity to the Zodiac Killer but I can't make heads or tails out of it
0 replies 1 reposts 2 likes
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William Gerrard
@billgerrard.bsky.social
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Trying to read today's SCOTUS decision granting full immunity to the Zodiac Killer but I can't make heads or tails out of it
0 replies 1 reposts 2 likes
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William Gerrard
@billgerrard.bsky.social
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Extremely funny that the Cybertruck’s ability to withstand people hitting and throwing shit at it is routinely promoted as a selling point, because the unstated (but true) premise is that people will indeed want to do those things
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William Gerrard
@billgerrard.bsky.social
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The perfect moment to be hit in the neck with a poison dart doesn’t exi—
0 replies 0 reposts 2 likes
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William Gerrard
@billgerrard.bsky.social
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While watching the debate last night, my 3-year-old turned to me and said “Father, do political systems have a life cycle akin to that of an organism? Do they have a tumultuous yet vigorous youth, followed by the stability of adulthood, only to succumb at last to decay and senesc
0 replies 1 reposts 6 likes
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William Gerrard
@billgerrard.bsky.social
[ View ] |
While watching the debate last night, my 3-year-old turned to me and said “Father, do political systems have a life cycle akin to that of an organism? Do they have a tumultuous yet vigorous youth, followed by the stability of adulthood, only to succumb at last to decay and senesc
0 replies 1 reposts 6 likes
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William Gerrard
@billgerrard.bsky.social
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One day I hope to have the opportunity to say “mutatis mutandis, motherfucker”
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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William Gerrard
@billgerrard.bsky.social
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C is for Charles Manson
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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William Gerrard
@billgerrard.bsky.social
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www.polygon.com/2015/10/9/94...
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William Gerrard
@billgerrard.bsky.social
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No one tell today’s Star Wars fanbase how in 1977 Topps printed cards with C-3PO sporting an erect penis before catching their “error” and attempting to erase it from history
1 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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William Gerrard
@billgerrard.bsky.social
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I code switch around Kantians in that I don't talk about the knowledge I have of things as they are in themselves when I'm around them... I don't want to make them feel bad about themselves...
0 replies 2 reposts 4 likes
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William Gerrard
@billgerrard.bsky.social
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Job didn’t play stupid games, and yet he won stupid prizes. Much to consider.
1 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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William Gerrard
@billgerrard.bsky.social
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The Book of Job is fundamentally about how one doesn’t have to fuck around in order to find out
1 replies 1 reposts 4 likes
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William Gerrard
@billgerrard.bsky.social
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She was so real for this
0 replies 1 reposts 2 likes
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William Gerrard
@billgerrard.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Marveling at the far-reaching influence of ancient Babylonian culture while reading “Are You There Marduk? It's Me, Mupallidat-Serua.”
0 replies 0 reposts 2 likes
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William Gerrard
@billgerrard.bsky.social
[ View ] |
#NewYorkerCartoonCaptionContest
0 replies 3 reposts 4 likes
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William Gerrard
@billgerrard.bsky.social
[ View ] |
#NewYorkerCartoonCaptionContest
0 replies 3 reposts 4 likes
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William Gerrard
@billgerrard.bsky.social
[ View ] |
The hotel American Airlines put me up in last night had a conference room with this sign posted on the window
1 replies 1 reposts 6 likes
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William Gerrard
@billgerrard.bsky.social
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They said marijuana legalization wouldn’t be a slippery slope, but Sesame Street just announced Oscar the Grouch will be moving here next season
0 replies 2 reposts 7 likes
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William Gerrard
@billgerrard.bsky.social
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“Ewok” is an anagram for “woke,” and I sincerely hope this fact ruins someone’s day
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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William Gerrard
@billgerrard.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Was on a plane last night that taxied around O’Hare for two hours before our flight was cancelled due to another plane ahead of us killing two birds, and the pilot offered us the only consolation that could be had in that shitty situation, namely that “it was worse for the birds”
1 replies 1 reposts 4 likes
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William Gerrard
@billgerrard.bsky.social
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The thing about pablum is that it’s not specifically intended to pacify me. That’s where the sop comes in.
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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William Gerrard
@billgerrard.bsky.social
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I recently started having a sop with my pablum and let me tell you it has changed my life
1 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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William Gerrard
@billgerrard.bsky.social
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“And on the pedestal, these words appear:
0 replies 2 reposts 6 likes
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William Gerrard
@billgerrard.bsky.social
[ View ] |
#NewYorkerCartoonCaptionContest
0 replies 1 reposts 1 likes
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William Gerrard
@billgerrard.bsky.social
[ View ] |
While I appreciate that Bluey has jokes geared toward the parents in the audience, I feel like having Bandit and Chilli refer to missionary as “human-style” was a little much
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William Gerrard
@billgerrard.bsky.social
[ View ] |
In “The Reformation of the Planet of the Apes,” Monkey Luther hurls 95 feces at the door of All Apes’ Church
0 replies 2 reposts 4 likes
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William Gerrard
@billgerrard.bsky.social
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PASSENGER: “Oh my god, he’s not breathing! Help, is there a doctor onboard?!” DR. SEUSS: “Word round the campfire’s you’ve got one sick chappie—“ PASSENGER: “—n-no, no, please—“ DR. SEUSS: “—I can help a sick chap, oh yes, I can make it real snappy,”
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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William Gerrard
@billgerrard.bsky.social
[ View ] |
In “The Reformation of the Planet of the Apes,” Monkey Luther hurls 95 feces at the door of All Apes’ Church
0 replies 2 reposts 4 likes
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William Gerrard
@billgerrard.bsky.social
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We laugh about it now because of how it’s been used, but the first person to play the ‘sad trombone’ must have been shocked by the pathos of the sound they had just produced
0 replies 2 reposts 10 likes
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William Gerrard
@billgerrard.bsky.social
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If AI could write like this I would wave the white flag and invite the robots to take over
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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William Gerrard
@billgerrard.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Thinking about the letter Hunter S. Thompson wrote to Tom Wolfe in 1971 that opens with “You worthless scumsucking bastard”
1 replies 1 reposts 2 likes
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William Gerrard
@billgerrard.bsky.social
[ View ] |
I’m an Icarus truther now. The sun doesn’t melt wax at higher altitudes. You’re being lied to by classicists. #IcarusTruth
0 replies 4 reposts 6 likes
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William Gerrard
@billgerrard.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Google is so broken that the first image it gave me for a pipe is something that is not a pipe 🙄
0 replies 3 reposts 7 likes
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William Gerrard
@billgerrard.bsky.social
[ View ] |
*reading the manual for the Finnegan’s Wake video game* “Hold X and Y to ‘branlish your tallowscoop with a nip nippy nip?’ What the...”
0 replies 1 reposts 2 likes
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William Gerrard
@billgerrard.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Google is so broken that the first image it gave me for a pipe is something that is not a pipe 🙄
0 replies 3 reposts 7 likes
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William Gerrard
@billgerrard.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Sam Altman making an AI clone of Scarlett Johansson's voice
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William Gerrard
@billgerrard.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Sam Altman making an AI clone of Scarlett Johansson's voice
0 replies 1 reposts 0 likes
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William Gerrard
@billgerrard.bsky.social
[ View ] |
#NewYorkerCartoonCaptionContest
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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William Gerrard
@billgerrard.bsky.social
[ View ] |
(making small talk with the hoplite next to me in the phalanx) “So, have you read the Iliad?”
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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William Gerrard
@billgerrard.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Some of you have never been the last surviving member of a tontine, only to realize that the treasure you waited for all your life is now worthless without the company of the other members, and it shows
0 replies 0 reposts 3 likes
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William Gerrard
@billgerrard.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Lots of son-on-father violence in those stories!
2 replies 0 reposts 2 likes
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William Gerrard
@billgerrard.bsky.social
[ View ] |
I’ve been getting my son into Greek mythology lately, and it’s only now dawning on me how badly this could backfire
1 replies 0 reposts 4 likes
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William Gerrard
@billgerrard.bsky.social
[ View ] |
2025: President Kennedy Jr. Renames White House “Worm House,” Claims Americans Have “Nothing to Fear” From Universal Brain Worm Implantation Order: “There’s No More Pain…Everything Is So Beautiful Now”
0 replies 1 reposts 2 likes
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William Gerrard
@billgerrard.bsky.social
[ View ] |
2025: President Kennedy Jr. Renames White House “Worm House,” Claims Americans Have “Nothing to Fear” From Universal Brain Worm Implantation Order: “There’s No More Pain…Everything Is So Beautiful Now”
0 replies 1 reposts 2 likes
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William Gerrard
@billgerrard.bsky.social
[ View ] |
A source inside Columbia has provided me with a map detailing President Shafik's plans to install landmines on campus to deter future encampments
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