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Regular Non-Seasonal Steve Cartwright@chompmancobra.bsky.social |
330 followers 142 following 12830 posts
Winner: Scotland's Most Best Face Official alternate universe music critic.
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Regular Non-Seasonal Steve Cartwright
@chompmancobra.bsky.social
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I'm in, but you have to promise not to wait til halfway through and I've drifted off to sleep and then program me to kill the prime minister
1 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Regular Non-Seasonal Steve Cartwright
@chompmancobra.bsky.social
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Bartoons
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Regular Non-Seasonal Steve Cartwright
@chompmancobra.bsky.social
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I thought that was a character doing a bit, was that real?
1 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
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Regular Non-Seasonal Steve Cartwright
@chompmancobra.bsky.social
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There's the Belgian one across the river where the cheese comes from?
1 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Regular Non-Seasonal Steve Cartwright
@chompmancobra.bsky.social
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Good night* you princes of Oregon, you kings of New New England. Great job being one year old, have a lovely day of it. *it's ten pm here
0 replies 0 reposts 7 likes
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Regular Non-Seasonal Steve Cartwright
@chompmancobra.bsky.social
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There's a cheesy hobbies joke there except 1) fuck that, those hobbies are awesome and 2) I'm pretty sure it's the wrong Limburg anyway
1 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Regular Non-Seasonal Steve Cartwright
@chompmancobra.bsky.social
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You should keep it on the downlow or we'll all want a nice relationship that makes us happy
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Regular Non-Seasonal Steve Cartwright
@chompmancobra.bsky.social
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harico vert misdirection
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Regular Non-Seasonal Steve Cartwright
@chompmancobra.bsky.social
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Superb! Happy nearly birthday.
0 replies 0 reposts 4 likes
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Regular Non-Seasonal Steve Cartwright
@chompmancobra.bsky.social
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Got to be careful though or the Gregg's bouncers will throw you out
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Regular Non-Seasonal Steve Cartwright
@chompmancobra.bsky.social
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Now I've lost confidence in the joke so I'm slinking back in to explain I was being meta
1 replies 0 reposts 2 likes
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Regular Non-Seasonal Steve Cartwright
@chompmancobra.bsky.social
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Man comes back the next day. Excuse me, is that a scone or a meringue? No, you're right, it's a scone. Now are you going to buy something or what
1 replies 0 reposts 2 likes
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Regular Non-Seasonal Steve Cartwright
@chompmancobra.bsky.social
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I like that that one. It's a portmanteau of mec (a guy) and expliquer (to explain)
1 replies 0 reposts 2 likes
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Regular Non-Seasonal Steve Cartwright
@chompmancobra.bsky.social
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Is it decimated, or am I going to have to ask you to explain it?
2 replies 0 reposts 2 likes
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Regular Non-Seasonal Steve Cartwright
@chompmancobra.bsky.social
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Man goes into the baker's in Glasgow. How much are the cakes? That shelf, four quid. That shelf, five quid. And that one over there, that one's seventeen pound fifty. - seventeen? How come it's so much more, it doesn't look that special? That's Madeira cake
1 replies 0 reposts 5 likes
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Regular Non-Seasonal Steve Cartwright
@chompmancobra.bsky.social
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I'm going for Tart Hankering. Still missing those pastels de nata; they just don't do them right in America.
0 replies 0 reposts 2 likes
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Regular Non-Seasonal Steve Cartwright
@chompmancobra.bsky.social
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I heard your bum bum cream brings all the boys to the yard; size of that little tub I can only assume you've got a very small yard
0 replies 0 reposts 4 likes
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Regular Non-Seasonal Steve Cartwright
@chompmancobra.bsky.social
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I think it would be a beautiful thing. I'm going to go and be wistful for a bit.
0 replies 0 reposts 2 likes
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Regular Non-Seasonal Steve Cartwright
@chompmancobra.bsky.social
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For a minute there it looked like we had a chance. We, I at least, voted with a sense of holy shit this might just happen, I need to be serious about this decision. And then, suddenly, we're nailed to England forever as they drag us into ever worse decisions. I'm still not ready to be calm either!
1 replies 0 reposts 2 likes
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Regular Non-Seasonal Steve Cartwright
@chompmancobra.bsky.social
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Plus they conflated Alec Salmond being a smug self satisfied prick (which, fair) with the cause of independence (unfair; we needed independence so the SNP could fracture into the three smaller parties in a trenchcoat it always was) Still, wistful thoughts about could've beens is the Scottish way
0 replies 0 reposts 4 likes
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Regular Non-Seasonal Steve Cartwright
@chompmancobra.bsky.social
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A lot of old people scared of change and scared for their pensions (how's that looking now?) and repeating "he doesn't have a plan for the currency" as though use the pound for a bit then the Euro isn't a plan, and told they had to vote against in order to stay in the EU (how's THAT working out)
2 replies 0 reposts 3 likes
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Regular Non-Seasonal Steve Cartwright
@chompmancobra.bsky.social
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Two chippy teas for you!
1 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Regular Non-Seasonal Steve Cartwright
@chompmancobra.bsky.social
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High status vikings would have used much larger checks
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Regular Non-Seasonal Steve Cartwright
@chompmancobra.bsky.social
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Sorry pal. If it helps I think you're a good egg and I'm glad we're internet friends.
1 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Regular Non-Seasonal Steve Cartwright
@chompmancobra.bsky.social
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Did you do a banger post Col?
1 replies 0 reposts 2 likes
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Regular Non-Seasonal Steve Cartwright
@chompmancobra.bsky.social
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It's a criminal offence to use another person's name in this manner (if by "criminal offence" you mean "not a criminal offence")
1 replies 0 reposts 7 likes
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Regular Non-Seasonal Steve Cartwright
@chompmancobra.bsky.social
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Wes Streeting announced as The Last Health Secretary
0 replies 0 reposts 5 likes
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Regular Non-Seasonal Steve Cartwright
@chompmancobra.bsky.social
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Even Parliament (not feat. Stevie Wonder in any capacity)?
1 replies 0 reposts 3 likes
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Regular Non-Seasonal Steve Cartwright
@chompmancobra.bsky.social
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I had a hard time deciding if she was economically illiterate or just a small state conservative until I realised, why not both
1 replies 0 reposts 8 likes
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Regular Non-Seasonal Steve Cartwright
@chompmancobra.bsky.social
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They decided he'd "always wanted" a free holiday to Barbados or wherever the fuck, at the height of the pandemic. It's not a great idea to take frail old people on long plane journeys at the best of times. He died, Horrible Daughter got a holiday.
1 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Regular Non-Seasonal Steve Cartwright
@chompmancobra.bsky.social
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Yo, dog, I heard you liked fish. This is a foolish pastime, an attempt to distract from the hollowness of life and the inevitability of eventual death by watching brightly coloured prisoners living constrained lives. They cannot love you. I did not put fish in your car. That would be ridiculous.
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Matthew Willis (Naval Air History)
@navalairhistory.com
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The interesting thing about that one for me is that the historic Labour defeat of 2019 happened on a vote share that was 8th best out of the last 12 elections, and the historic Labour victory of 2024 was achieved on a vote share 7th best of 12 FPTP is a crazy system...
2 replies 1 reposts 3 likes
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Regular Non-Seasonal Steve Cartwright
@chompmancobra.bsky.social
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As indeed did Keith himself
bsky.app/profile/boja...
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Regular Non-Seasonal Steve Cartwright
@chompmancobra.bsky.social
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Or The King in Yellow (the yellow is piss)
0 replies 0 reposts 2 likes
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Regular Non-Seasonal Steve Cartwright
@chompmancobra.bsky.social
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If it's been soup what is it now? Oh wait, it's coffee, you said that
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Regular Non-Seasonal Steve Cartwright
@chompmancobra.bsky.social
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Two Gentlemen of Verona, and also Shrek (he comes from a swamp)
0 replies 0 reposts 2 likes
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Regular Non-Seasonal Steve Cartwright
@chompmancobra.bsky.social
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That's uncalled for! I've never buttered an elephant to death, or at least you'll never prove it.
0 replies 0 reposts 3 likes
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Regular Non-Seasonal Steve Cartwright
@chompmancobra.bsky.social
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I've been saying this! But only really quietly, because I didn't think the world was ready
1 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Regular Non-Seasonal Steve Cartwright
@chompmancobra.bsky.social
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I agree but think all the other ones are also the worst. It's just more golf.
1 replies 0 reposts 2 likes
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Regular Non-Seasonal Steve Cartwright
@chompmancobra.bsky.social
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www.techdirt.com/2019/05/31/t...
Worse if anything, a character from a pre Space Balls star wars parody that nobody remembers
2 replies 0 reposts 3 likes
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Regular Non-Seasonal Steve Cartwright
@chompmancobra.bsky.social
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When one is used to fashion spreads in the Observer and cosy little articles about how one is great friends with Mogg and that's Good Actually, anything else feels like oppression
0 replies 0 reposts 4 likes
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Regular Non-Seasonal Steve Cartwright
@chompmancobra.bsky.social
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Also some alt text would be nice. Plus that's actually a photo of the designer's flat and not the interior of the Prime Minister's actual flat. Not to mention the Lulu Lytle refurb was 2021 and two prime ministers ago, one of whom had time to make some changes, so who knows what it looks like now
2 replies 0 reposts 5 likes
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Regular Non-Seasonal Steve Cartwright
@chompmancobra.bsky.social
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Unless the black and tans relate to the question it's not tansplaining, it's sparkling being very confident and very wrong.
0 replies 0 reposts 3 likes
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Regular Non-Seasonal Steve Cartwright
@chompmancobra.bsky.social
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I'm not Irish and I don't own the word. I've registered my concern and you have politely acknowledged it. I am happy!
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Regular Non-Seasonal Steve Cartwright
@chompmancobra.bsky.social
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Any form of nationalised energy is anathema to these neoliberal clowns so we get a flag stuck on an investment vehicle and a cheery sounding promise wrapped in small print *not actually true in any real sense **It'll take ages even if it works ***compared to some imaginary even higher bills
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Regular Non-Seasonal Steve Cartwright
@chompmancobra.bsky.social
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I'm far from convinced you should use "tansplain", a word specific to British incomprehension of and ingrained undeserved sense of cultural superiority to Ireland, in non Irish contexts It's a great word. But maybe you need a different word.
1 replies 0 reposts 3 likes
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Regular Non-Seasonal Steve Cartwright
@chompmancobra.bsky.social
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That's a description of a contraption
1 replies 0 reposts 2 likes
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Regular Non-Seasonal Steve Cartwright
@chompmancobra.bsky.social
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It's important to understand he's just not very bright
0 replies 0 reposts 4 likes
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Regular Non-Seasonal Steve Cartwright
@chompmancobra.bsky.social
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If there was a world deadpan championships it would be very hard to tell if the Finns cared
0 replies 12 reposts 94 likes
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Regular Non-Seasonal Steve Cartwright
@chompmancobra.bsky.social
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O, wad some Power the giftie gie us To see oursels as others see us! It wad frae monie a blunder free us, An' foolish notion The rest of Europe think we're a bunch of entitled wreckers who had the best deal in the EU and still blew it up from stupidity. We're not leading them anywhere.
2 replies 0 reposts 6 likes