Bubo Baggins

beloved character on brand new adventure @guntoucher.bsky.social [ View ] May 02, 2024 at 12:36 UTC

HARRY LIME: tell me. would you really feel any pity if one of those dots stopped moving forever? if i offered you twenty thousand pounds for every dot that stopped, would y- HOLLY MARTINS: theres a dot with a big fat ass by the popcorn trolley HARRY LIME: [SLAMS FACE AGAINST GONDOLA CAR WINDOW]

0 replies 21 reposts 88 likes

Bubo Baggins @coffinzone.bsky.social [ View ] May 01, 2024 at 01:01 UTC

I would like you to give me an exact number of windows that you think a human life is worth

0 replies 2 reposts 14 likes

Bubo Baggins @coffinzone.bsky.social [ View ] Apr 28, 2024 at 10:59 UTC

If I were the author I would simply refuse to die

0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes

Bubo Baggins @coffinzone.bsky.social [ View ] Apr 15, 2024 at 18:16 UTC

This is really starting to make it difficult to advertise my new long-distance trucking business, Dick and Balls Logistics

0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes

Bubo Baggins @coffinzone.bsky.social [ View ] Apr 15, 2024 at 14:07 UTC

Sitting on a rooftop on a lovely spring day thinking about what exactly my fucking problem is

0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes

Bubo Baggins @coffinzone.bsky.social [ View ] Apr 12, 2024 at 18:46 UTC

I mutter "play Mars Matrix" to myself at least a couple times a week

0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes

Bubo Baggins @coffinzone.bsky.social [ View ] Apr 12, 2024 at 12:15 UTC

Pawn, rook, knight, bishop, queen, king. Six by my count

0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes

Bubo Baggins @coffinzone.bsky.social [ View ] Apr 08, 2024 at 04:19 UTC

I should watch Burst City again

0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes

Bubo Baggins @coffinzone.bsky.social [ View ] Apr 06, 2024 at 23:35 UTC

Green River

0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes

Bubo Baggins @coffinzone.bsky.social [ View ] Mar 30, 2024 at 22:53 UTC

You don't want to be in your early 20s in 2012, you want to have a trust fund

0 replies 1 reposts 7 likes

Bubo Baggins @coffinzone.bsky.social [ View ] Mar 26, 2024 at 17:35 UTC

I wish I was born 12001 years ago for, uh, totally unrelated reasons

2 replies 0 reposts 77 likes

Bubo Baggins @coffinzone.bsky.social [ View ] Mar 10, 2024 at 15:59 UTC

My parents did something similar with me and all I really remember from it is how to waltz and a couple of extremely specific line dances

0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes

Bubo Baggins @coffinzone.bsky.social [ View ] Mar 01, 2024 at 05:51 UTC

My nose started bleeding halfway through that sentence

0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes

Bubo Baggins @coffinzone.bsky.social [ View ] Mar 01, 2024 at 02:31 UTC

I fucking hate when a prophecy that assures my ambitions will be fulfilled turns out to have an ironic loophole, leading to my downfall

0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes

Bubo Baggins @coffinzone.bsky.social [ View ] Feb 08, 2024 at 22:42 UTC

After looking at your timeline, I have a serious question: have you spoken to a doctor recently? Because your writing reminds me very strongly of stuff I've seen from people with prodromal schizophrenia

1 replies 0 reposts 2 likes

Bubo Baggins @coffinzone.bsky.social [ View ] Feb 07, 2024 at 23:30 UTC

Hey man just letting you know that I'm a member of the FBI's Wokeness Division and we're gonna be showing up to your house tomorrow to take your guns and run over your dick and nuts with a golf cart

0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes

Bubo Baggins @coffinzone.bsky.social [ View ] Feb 06, 2024 at 20:06 UTC

Where else am I going to find step by step instructions on how to Jeff

0 replies 0 reposts 5 likes

Bubo Baggins @coffinzone.bsky.social [ View ] Feb 05, 2024 at 04:29 UTC

she nihil on my novi til my sub sole

0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes

Bubo Baggins @coffinzone.bsky.social [ View ] Feb 01, 2024 at 07:54 UTC

Never happens. Big Hooters Hitler gets the Red Army horned up enough during Stalingrad that they take Berlin by the end of 1943

0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes

Bubo Baggins @coffinzone.bsky.social [ View ] Jan 31, 2024 at 23:26 UTC

I used to live within walking distance of a Hawaiian joint and they started calling me Mr. C, the Hangover King (because they would serve my hungover ass a burger with a fried egg on it at 10AM for like eight American dollars)

1 replies 1 reposts 10 likes

Bubo Baggins @coffinzone.bsky.social [ View ] Jan 25, 2024 at 01:07 UTC

I'm in my old-timey ailments era. I'm goutmaxxed and dropsypilled

0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes

Bubo Baggins @coffinzone.bsky.social [ View ] Jan 24, 2024 at 18:50 UTC

Up until about 1870, if you got a kidney stone you had like a 1 in 4 chance of dying

0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes

Bubo Baggins @coffinzone.bsky.social [ View ] Jan 09, 2024 at 23:07 UTC

God bless brassicas in all their forms

0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes

Bubo Baggins @coffinzone.bsky.social [ View ] Jan 09, 2024 at 18:04 UTC

More like ludonarrative pissonance

0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes

Bubo Baggins @coffinzone.bsky.social [ View ] Dec 23, 2023 at 00:11 UTC

much like every Souls-flavored game I've ever played, I immediately gravitated to "heavy armor and biggest sword I can find" as a go-to build

1 replies 0 reposts 1 likes

Bubo Baggins @coffinzone.bsky.social [ View ] Nov 18, 2023 at 06:31 UTC

We shall jerk on the beaches, we shall jerk in the landing grounds, we shall jerk in the fields and in the streets, we shall jerk in the hills, we shall never stop jerking

0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes

Bubo Baggins @coffinzone.bsky.social [ View ] Nov 11, 2023 at 08:15 UTC

Green bean casserole

0 replies 0 reposts 2 likes

Bubo Baggins @coffinzone.bsky.social [ View ] Nov 10, 2023 at 21:07 UTC

I think mayors are more normal on average but have a much higher ceiling for being absolute freaks

0 replies 0 reposts 4 likes

Bubo Baggins @coffinzone.bsky.social [ View ] Oct 26, 2023 at 22:12 UTC

1 replies 0 reposts 7 likes

Bubo Baggins @coffinzone.bsky.social [ View ] Oct 22, 2023 at 07:41 UTC

If I did decide to destroy and betray myself I would simply hold out for a good deal

0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes

Bubo Baggins @coffinzone.bsky.social [ View ] Oct 17, 2023 at 04:58 UTC

very funny to me that this is very clearly the section of 95 just south of the Ft McHenry Tunnel

0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes

Bubo Baggins @coffinzone.bsky.social [ View ] Oct 12, 2023 at 05:24 UTC

0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes

Bubo Baggins @coffinzone.bsky.social [ View ] Oct 10, 2023 at 22:30 UTC

Broth is a form of tea

0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes

Bubo Baggins @coffinzone.bsky.social [ View ] Oct 10, 2023 at 05:10 UTC

Truly the man is a pioneer in the field of being divorced

0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes

Bubo Baggins @coffinzone.bsky.social [ View ] Oct 08, 2023 at 00:25 UTC

Celebrated one year since I was last gainfully employed by cracking a molar

0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes

Bubo Baggins @coffinzone.bsky.social [ View ] Oct 05, 2023 at 00:47 UTC

If this is true I can only assume that he has volunteered himself for the first gen of Neuralink implants and it's going predictably

1 replies 0 reposts 9 likes

Bubo Baggins @coffinzone.bsky.social [ View ] Oct 05, 2023 at 00:22 UTC

Most of Elon's decisions, while obviously dumb and counterproductive, have a recognizable thought process behind them but I am just straight up baffled by this one

1 replies 0 reposts 9 likes

Bubo Baggins @coffinzone.bsky.social [ View ] Oct 03, 2023 at 02:00 UTC

In the interests of extending an olive branch I would like to invite Elon to engage in one of his people's traditional pastimes (getting necklaced)

0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes

Bubo Baggins @coffinzone.bsky.social [ View ] Oct 01, 2023 at 02:08 UTC

this is absolute dogshit and if you had a conscience you would delete your account

0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes