Colin (Writes Things)

Katie Tightpussy @juicysteak117.gay [ View ] Jun 28, 2024 at 02:06 UTC

biden: well 49gmgitmtujghm the inflation r59gmg94mg9mg black families 459gm9gsenmg9ignm402j29r2mkgk paris accordds gujhimhgihrtmgiotrmgro43m the border vmvmtignmbioto trump: i just ate a big meatball sub before coming onto stage and it was delicious. biden doesn't enjoy tasty treats like me!

2 replies 19 reposts 105 likes

Colin (Writes Things) @colinwritesthings.bsky.social [ View ] Jun 28, 2024 at 01:32 UTC

Moderator: moving on, please tell us all the ways that immigrants are bad.

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Colin (Writes Things) @colinwritesthings.bsky.social [ View ] Jun 28, 2024 at 01:20 UTC

Biden starting to regret staying up screaming at that concert last night

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Colin (Writes Things) @colinwritesthings.bsky.social [ View ] Jun 28, 2024 at 01:17 UTC

You guys our best and brightest are on display for all to see. The hearts of the people beat for our brave leaders! I will take my tranqs now please

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Colin (Writes Things) @colinwritesthings.bsky.social [ View ] Jun 17, 2024 at 16:46 UTC

These assholes were like "people take a lot of acid and realize society is stupid but what if they just took an Itty bitty dose of acid at work and use it to code harder?" Like using the eucharist in Lunchables

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Colin (Writes Things) @colinwritesthings.bsky.social [ View ] Jun 17, 2024 at 03:25 UTC

If you can take a step back and stop taking yourself so seriously it’s actually pretty funny how everything is all fucked up and broken and the sky is the wrong color sometimes all because hairless apes learned to grow sorghum and gossip so hard that they discovered calculus

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Colin (Writes Things) @colinwritesthings.bsky.social [ View ] Jun 15, 2024 at 15:43 UTC

Bro, *leaning in uncomfortably close* you know about public libraries?

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Colin (Writes Things) @colinwritesthings.bsky.social [ View ] Jun 15, 2024 at 13:52 UTC

I’m a lot like a 1948 Wheat Penny. Pretty rare. Worth about 15 cents.

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Colin (Writes Things) @colinwritesthings.bsky.social [ View ] Jun 14, 2024 at 14:38 UTC

(Standing in produce section, looking at phone, speaking way too loudly) HOLY MOLY HONEY IT SAYS HERE THESE BANANAS DID A COUP

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Colin (Writes Things) @colinwritesthings.bsky.social [ View ] Jun 11, 2024 at 08:05 UTC

Petition for mandatory MDMA therapy for police officers "Rolls 4Blue," or something.

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Colin (Writes Things) @colinwritesthings.bsky.social [ View ] Jun 07, 2024 at 13:53 UTC

while the driver, turning in front of me, glanced at my display then solemnly shook his head before avoiding further eye contact. That was pretty satisfying.

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Colin (Writes Things) @colinwritesthings.bsky.social [ View ] Jun 07, 2024 at 13:53 UTC

I try to avoid performative acts of meanness in my life but when I saw someone driving a Cybertruck downtown I indulged myself by standing on the corner, pointing and stage laughing in a huge exaggerated way, with my hand on my belly and my shoulders bouncing up and down--real guffaw action--

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Colin (Writes Things) @colinwritesthings.bsky.social [ View ] Jun 06, 2024 at 17:58 UTC

Countries are a bad idea

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Colin (Writes Things) @colinwritesthings.bsky.social [ View ] Jun 03, 2024 at 14:55 UTC

Our neighbors to the south just elected a female, Jewish, leftist, climate scientist to the presidency by a landslide, so the US will absolutely be invading Mexico in the next decade

0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes

Colin (Writes Things) @colinwritesthings.bsky.social [ View ] Jun 02, 2024 at 22:38 UTC

Lovely late spring day. I'm reminded that the 17th century Japanese haiku poet, Basho, wrote: Spring is passing. The birds cry, and the fishes’ eyes are With tears. --------------------------------------------------- Too bad he didn't have social media then. He could have hashtagged all that shit.

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Colin (Writes Things) @colinwritesthings.bsky.social [ View ] Jun 02, 2024 at 12:39 UTC

Is it time to stop having national conversations about things? Let's talk about it.

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Colin (Writes Things) @colinwritesthings.bsky.social [ View ] May 31, 2024 at 21:58 UTC

Googling "How to destroy 289 hard drives fast before they get here"

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Colin (Writes Things) @colinwritesthings.bsky.social [ View ] May 31, 2024 at 13:31 UTC

Emotionally Well and Major Party Presidential Candidate are typically antonyms

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Colin (Writes Things) @colinwritesthings.bsky.social [ View ] May 30, 2024 at 14:16 UTC

This but pills

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Colin (Writes Things) @colinwritesthings.bsky.social [ View ] May 29, 2024 at 18:19 UTC

-My Therapist

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Colin (Writes Things) @colinwritesthings.bsky.social [ View ] May 29, 2024 at 13:56 UTC

Yes my love I'd be overjoyed to bring you to the family cabin to experience a place I have a deep emotional connection to, relax in nature, listen to the waves lapping softly against the shore and be offended and alienated by my family

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Colin (Writes Things) @colinwritesthings.bsky.social [ View ] May 26, 2024 at 12:33 UTC

“Universe” is just a word we came up with for the biggest thing we could think of. And then cheeky theoretical physicists were like, “Yeah, but there could be others.”

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Colin (Writes Things) @colinwritesthings.bsky.social [ View ] May 25, 2024 at 22:02 UTC

Thank God they are tinting the windows on school busses now. It used to be I'd pull up behind a bus at a light and the evil little urchins in the back row would stare at me and snicker, gesticulating and laughing in a mocking manner and I don't know if I could stand that at this stage of my life.

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Colin (Writes Things) @colinwritesthings.bsky.social [ View ] May 25, 2024 at 21:44 UTC

Word of advice: If you have a dream, don't tell the FBI. They apparently hate that.

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Colin (Writes Things) @colinwritesthings.bsky.social [ View ] May 25, 2024 at 13:26 UTC

Get em with your suffering!

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Colin (Writes Things) @colinwritesthings.bsky.social [ View ] May 24, 2024 at 13:36 UTC

My worst most Midwestern trait is my firm belief that kimchi and sharp cheddar are a natural pairing and destined to be together. And if I opened a place called "Kimcheez" that served grilled cheese with kimchi on a nice bread I'd be a millionaire.

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Colin (Writes Things) @colinwritesthings.bsky.social [ View ] May 24, 2024 at 03:22 UTC

Journalists get a new tattoo for every time they do a Truth or a Public Service but it's only on the parts of their bodies covered by a dress shirt like Yakuza

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Colin (Writes Things) @colinwritesthings.bsky.social [ View ] May 22, 2024 at 03:11 UTC

You freaks are embarrassing me in front of the sickos

1 replies 4 reposts 29 likes

Colin (Writes Things) @colinwritesthings.bsky.social [ View ] May 22, 2024 at 20:43 UTC

To be fair once you learn that America is just one giant ongoing imperial killing machine built to enrich an elite class you become a pretty insufferable presence at family dinners

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Colin (Writes Things) @colinwritesthings.bsky.social [ View ] May 22, 2024 at 16:31 UTC

Nothing fills one with disdain like a deep abiding commitment to a loved one

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Colin (Writes Things) @colinwritesthings.bsky.social [ View ] May 22, 2024 at 14:15 UTC

Practicing good digital op-sec by turning off phone, stripping off all clothes, rubbing face and body with mud, and running screaming through the forest

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Colin (Writes Things) @colinwritesthings.bsky.social [ View ] May 22, 2024 at 13:13 UTC

I'm entering my gapped-tooth lily-livered phase

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Colin (Writes Things) @colinwritesthings.bsky.social [ View ] May 22, 2024 at 12:22 UTC

More like a snack bar and an empty coworking space but thanks and glad you're ok too!

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Colin (Writes Things) @colinwritesthings.bsky.social [ View ] May 22, 2024 at 12:05 UTC

Got to hang in the basement for the last half hour of work last night.

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Colin (Writes Things) @colinwritesthings.bsky.social [ View ] May 22, 2024 at 03:11 UTC

You freaks are embarrassing me in front of the sickos

1 replies 4 reposts 29 likes

Colin (Writes Things) @colinwritesthings.bsky.social [ View ] May 21, 2024 at 19:16 UTC

Physician, suck up thyself

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Colin (Writes Things) @colinwritesthings.bsky.social [ View ] May 21, 2024 at 19:13 UTC

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Colin (Writes Things) @colinwritesthings.bsky.social [ View ] May 21, 2024 at 18:54 UTC

Pityriasis rosea and gigantism?!

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Colin (Writes Things) @colinwritesthings.bsky.social [ View ] May 21, 2024 at 18:52 UTC

I don't know what's wrong with me. Luckily I know exactly what is wrong with you.

1 replies 0 reposts 1 likes

Colin (Writes Things) @colinwritesthings.bsky.social [ View ] May 21, 2024 at 16:53 UTC

I would never break your heart Unless it was really convenient and beneficial for me to do so Sweetheart

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Colin (Writes Things) @colinwritesthings.bsky.social [ View ] May 20, 2024 at 20:24 UTC

Americans are learning (getting drunk) healing (firing a gun in the air at their ex-wife's birthday party) and moving forward towards a better future (fiery car crash at one of the many local strip malls).

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Colin (Writes Things) @colinwritesthings.bsky.social [ View ] May 20, 2024 at 20:11 UTC

Last night my partner found out how much uncompensated time and effort I'm investing in administering shitposting pages and I think she may leave me

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Colin (Writes Things) @colinwritesthings.bsky.social [ View ] May 20, 2024 at 19:47 UTC

You thought you could put potato rounds, bacon, green onion and liquid cheese on top of a pizza and they'd let you live? You've grown too powerful. It's inconvenient to the status quo.

0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes

Colin (Writes Things) @colinwritesthings.bsky.social [ View ] May 20, 2024 at 17:55 UTC

For some reason the interest in my Bluesky invitation codes has really fallen off lately

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Colin (Writes Things) @colinwritesthings.bsky.social [ View ] May 20, 2024 at 16:25 UTC

I've decided to let you be mad at me

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Colin (Writes Things) @colinwritesthings.bsky.social [ View ] May 20, 2024 at 13:59 UTC

Friday Me at 4:30pm: No time now, I’ll deal with these things Monday morning. Monday Me at 8:00am: What kind of evil bastard put all these things on my calendar first thing Monday morning?

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