Captain Carrot

Captain Carrot @cptncarrot.bsky.social [ View ] Jul 10, 2024 at 01:48 UTC

Cops are great, as @gregdoucette.bsky.social would say

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Captain Carrot @cptncarrot.bsky.social [ View ] Jul 03, 2024 at 02:02 UTC

Sic Semper Tyrannis

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Captain Carrot @cptncarrot.bsky.social [ View ] May 17, 2024 at 16:11 UTC

They expect a modem Gettysburg, when the reality would be more like Syria with nuclear proliferation.

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Captain Carrot @cptncarrot.bsky.social [ View ] May 17, 2024 at 16:10 UTC

I think many Americans think civil war isn't that big of a deal, because our civil war was mostly conventional armies fighting over territory.

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Captain Carrot @cptncarrot.bsky.social [ View ] May 15, 2024 at 17:29 UTC

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Captain Carrot @cptncarrot.bsky.social [ View ] May 10, 2024 at 23:19 UTC

I have the same joke about Theseus, but I changed the setup and the punchline.

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Captain Carrot @cptncarrot.bsky.social [ View ] May 02, 2024 at 17:08 UTC

Fatherhood ends at conception for him.

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Captain Carrot @cptncarrot.bsky.social [ View ] Apr 28, 2024 at 14:14 UTC

Correct, no one can change in 50 years.

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Captain Carrot @cptncarrot.bsky.social [ View ] Apr 27, 2024 at 14:31 UTC

She's obviously backfilling the reasoning for something she did out of anger, it's sickening. Your bird dog killed birds with a single bite and didn't damage the bodies? Clearly a monster. Your intact male goat is stinky? Totally worthless.

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Captain Carrot @cptncarrot.bsky.social [ View ] Apr 13, 2024 at 15:52 UTC

The fact that The Fall of Minneapolis lies about the chief's testimony, and then immediately tells you that lying is wrong blows my mind.

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Captain Carrot @cptncarrot.bsky.social [ View ] Apr 10, 2024 at 17:40 UTC

Bad day to be a BMP

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Captain Carrot @cptncarrot.bsky.social [ View ] Mar 29, 2024 at 17:29 UTC

I guess it's not exactly what Bo Burnham's making fun of, but it's definitely part of the same trend.

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Captain Carrot @cptncarrot.bsky.social [ View ] Mar 24, 2024 at 17:19 UTC

I was going to make a joke about how Trump will go after the clause in the Constitution that prevents the establishment of nobility. Looked it up, and it's the emoluments clause. All hail the Marquis of Manhattan, I guess.

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Captain Carrot @cptncarrot.bsky.social [ View ] Mar 18, 2024 at 17:21 UTC

Very fitting, since Trump uses the same nomenclature for the laborers at his property.

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Captain Carrot @cptncarrot.bsky.social [ View ] Mar 10, 2024 at 21:34 UTC

The idea that work is exclusively for men would be quite a revelation to the generations of farm wives who could beat him to death between milking cows.

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Captain Carrot @cptncarrot.bsky.social [ View ] Mar 10, 2024 at 18:51 UTC

The US should adopt metric time, just for chaos

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Captain Carrot @cptncarrot.bsky.social [ View ] Mar 10, 2024 at 14:53 UTC

Sure, spending half the week preparing my toddler for the time change is annoying, but I can rest assured that we would only do this if the benefits were strong and well proven.

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Captain Carrot @cptncarrot.bsky.social [ View ] Mar 04, 2024 at 15:48 UTC

Obviously not, he was a Democrat.

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Captain Carrot @cptncarrot.bsky.social [ View ] Mar 03, 2024 at 01:04 UTC

The extent to which no one cares about the Palestinians is brutal. Hamas: No. Israel: Obviously not. Egypt/Jordan/Syria: LOL.

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Captain Carrot @cptncarrot.bsky.social [ View ] Feb 28, 2024 at 20:27 UTC

In an election system where 50.1% of the vote gets you 100% of the power, a two party system is what you get.

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Captain Carrot @cptncarrot.bsky.social [ View ] Feb 18, 2024 at 21:39 UTC

My favorite thing from The Fall of Minneapolis is that the American flag behind Liz Collin is hung backwards.

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Captain Carrot @cptncarrot.bsky.social [ View ] Feb 17, 2024 at 23:50 UTC

Let's wait for all of the information to come out before rushing to judgement. Perhaps the woman was accused of witchcraft.

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Captain Carrot @cptncarrot.bsky.social [ View ] Jan 28, 2024 at 17:45 UTC

We will fix the housing crisis by moving more people into the existing stock, apparently.

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Captain Carrot @cptncarrot.bsky.social [ View ] Jan 24, 2024 at 17:49 UTC

It's only fascism if it came to power in Germany in 1933, otherwise it's sparkling authoritarianism.

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Captain Carrot @cptncarrot.bsky.social [ View ] Jan 20, 2024 at 19:35 UTC

I don't think I've ever gone from "never heard of this" to "completely convinced" as fast as I just did.

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Captain Carrot @cptncarrot.bsky.social [ View ] Jan 11, 2024 at 18:49 UTC

If you make him follow the rules, it will be seen as political. Therefore, we must allow him to use the courtroom for politics.

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Captain Carrot @cptncarrot.bsky.social [ View ] Jan 02, 2024 at 20:33 UTC

*Not* jumping to conclusions is unserious? It's definitely possible that this guy was carrying a MAGA manifesto and the police were carrying water for him. I'll eat a big plate of crow when that happens. Until then, I will wait and see, buddy.

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Captain Carrot @cptncarrot.bsky.social [ View ] Jan 02, 2024 at 20:06 UTC

Not everything is connected. Getting into a car accident at 1am and surrendering to police at 3am doesn't sound like a scheme to target the justices to me.

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Captain Carrot @cptncarrot.bsky.social [ View ] Jan 02, 2024 at 19:35 UTC

This actually has nothing to do with Trump, unless the article is wrong about basically every detail.

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Captain Carrot @cptncarrot.bsky.social [ View ] Jan 02, 2024 at 19:33 UTC

Read the article.

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Captain Carrot @cptncarrot.bsky.social [ View ] Dec 31, 2023 at 16:51 UTC

Breaking News: News on the phone with the doctor and I have a question for you to get the package for the house.

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Captain Carrot @cptncarrot.bsky.social [ View ] Dec 31, 2023 at 13:38 UTC

Outside of Puerto Rico, they are genuinely tiny.

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Captain Carrot @cptncarrot.bsky.social [ View ] Dec 30, 2023 at 19:46 UTC

Thank you!

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Captain Carrot @cptncarrot.bsky.social [ View ] Dec 30, 2023 at 16:07 UTC

So far the only thing I've thought of is the Patrick Skinner articles in The New Yorker or WaPo

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Captain Carrot @cptncarrot.bsky.social [ View ] Dec 30, 2023 at 16:00 UTC

@gregdoucette.bsky.social Greg, any thoughts on videos/articles to start an older relative on the path away from blue lives matter-ism?

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Captain Carrot @cptncarrot.bsky.social [ View ] Dec 19, 2023 at 01:06 UTC

It's the siren song of violence. People really want to believe that if you smash enough stuff, everything will be fixed.

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