Jessica Zellers's avatar

Jessica Zellers

@stellagarp.bsky.social

1285 followers 444 following 18734 posts

Jessica is an editor for hire: bluemanuscript.com. Stella is her unpublished pseudonym. Currently in Minnesota but dreaming about someplace colder. She/they. DMs are open, mutuals.


Jessica Zellers's avatar Jessica Zellers @stellagarp.bsky.social
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OK Cupid: Pro: -does not fill me with rage like Hinge did -let me typpity-type my little words Con: -is a shadow of its former self -does not exactly fill me with optimism

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Reposted by Jessica Zellers

ChrisⓋ WhyGameDev.com's avatar ChrisⓋ WhyGameDev.com @chrisdeleon.bsky.social
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when you see someone made almost exactly the same joke as you but theirs does better numbers that's a doppelbanger

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Jessica Zellers's avatar Jessica Zellers @stellagarp.bsky.social
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I don't know that the outcome will be any different, but I feel better having the chance to write about myself. I felt icky for all twenty minutes I was on Hinge. I felt shallow and gross, reducing myself to a few selfies and Poster witticisms

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Jessica Zellers's avatar Jessica Zellers @stellagarp.bsky.social
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I don't hate OKCupid as much as I hate Hinge. I've been on it for 90 minutes and haven't felt rage. I have said this before, but it shouldn't be this hard. You and I are both pretty terrific people. what gives.

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Jessica Zellers's avatar Jessica Zellers @stellagarp.bsky.social
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YUP. I first got on the apps in [redacted], though I took a break in spring of 2020 because the world was collapsing. Since then it's been nonstop job and life drama, but I just moved to a big city so I figure it's time to try again. Just in four years it's devolved horribly.

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Jessica Zellers's avatar Jessica Zellers @stellagarp.bsky.social
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The reason I love Bluesky is because it lets me build friendships in a way that works for me. I can have real conversations. Each skeet is short, but over time, they paint a portrait of a personality. All the more true since I left traditional employment in 2022 and became a hermit.

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Jessica Zellers's avatar Jessica Zellers @stellagarp.bsky.social
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Twitter is where I met my closest friends. Whom I still haven't met in real life yet. I need to fix that. And I've made some wonderful friends here, some of whom I have met. Meeting another tomorrow, actually! It's great! However.

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Jessica Zellers's avatar Jessica Zellers @stellagarp.bsky.social
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They're awful. But dating apps are the... it seems wrong to call them the most successful tool, so rather let me say they are the least unsuccessful tool I've used in 25 years of dating.

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Jessica Zellers's avatar Jessica Zellers @stellagarp.bsky.social
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...I have a lot of very bad stories. The only reason I am still attempting it is because of the overwhelming biological urge to meet someone. It's hardwired into me, as it is for most people. If past performance is any predictor, I am in for a horrible time. And that's if I even meet anyone. 🤷‍♀️

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Jessica Zellers's avatar Jessica Zellers @stellagarp.bsky.social
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That approach has never worked for me. I may resort to it if I have to, but that's...that's just not how I make connections.

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Jessica Zellers's avatar Jessica Zellers @stellagarp.bsky.social
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I don't mind putting in effort, I plan to actually since this is important to me, but Hinge did not make me want to be there. It was all guessing. How am I supposed to guess whether we'll have rapport based on snippets?

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Jessica Zellers's avatar Jessica Zellers @stellagarp.bsky.social
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how did I get tagged in something called Adult Tongue

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Jessica Zellers's avatar Jessica Zellers @stellagarp.bsky.social
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oh we're not at wingman stage I haven't been on a date in...five years I think?

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Jessica Zellers's avatar Jessica Zellers @stellagarp.bsky.social
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Minnesota's not on there, unfortunately But I appreciate your trying!

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Jessica Zellers's avatar Jessica Zellers @stellagarp.bsky.social
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I solve most of my problems with spreadsheets. Thank you. 😍 Now how do we communicate this to interested parties.

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Jessica Zellers's avatar Jessica Zellers @stellagarp.bsky.social
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Next two on my .xls are OK Cupid and Bumble

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Jessica Zellers's avatar Jessica Zellers @stellagarp.bsky.social
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it's a sensory thing for me. and there are other reasons. Normally I don't bore people by describing it. It just means I miss a lot of references.

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Jessica Zellers's avatar Jessica Zellers @stellagarp.bsky.social
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Since 2001, I haven't watched movies or television by myself, only in the company of other people. Which limits things somewhat.

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Jessica Zellers's avatar Jessica Zellers @stellagarp.bsky.social
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I have...more than one bad story.

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Jessica Zellers's avatar Jessica Zellers @stellagarp.bsky.social
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The UX sucked, and I don't think it's just because I am a fussy user. Less fussy people would find it unpleasant too.

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Jessica Zellers's avatar Jessica Zellers @stellagarp.bsky.social
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Blake. I haven't watched a movie of my own volition since 2001. No.

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Jessica Zellers's avatar Jessica Zellers @stellagarp.bsky.social
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okay, I deleted Hinge 20 minutes after I opened my account. It was awful. I cannot get to know other people based on photos and one-sentence answers. It was like doing smalltalk during a networking event at a conference, real seventh circle of hell shit

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Jessica Zellers's avatar Jessica Zellers @stellagarp.bsky.social
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Reedsy is for editing, not dating

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Jessica Zellers's avatar Jessica Zellers @stellagarp.bsky.social
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I've been on here 20 minutes and I'm ready to delete it. I do not think Hinge is right for me. It feels like small talk.

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Jessica Zellers's avatar Jessica Zellers @stellagarp.bsky.social
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idk, I already hate it. My so-called profile consists of some photos and three two-sentence prompts. As I am unable to communicate in essays of less than 1200 words, I am irritated. That doesn't reflect me. It's a few pictures and some zingers.

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Jessica Zellers's avatar Jessica Zellers @stellagarp.bsky.social
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Since they were supposed to get here two days ago, can today count as three whole days I've made them last? At the time of this writing I have only eaten one

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Jessica Zellers's avatar Jessica Zellers @stellagarp.bsky.social
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If it shapes up into anything useful, I'll share it!

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Jessica Zellers's avatar Jessica Zellers @stellagarp.bsky.social
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I might start with Hinge. I used it a few years ago, and there weren't many people, but at the time I was living in a rural community, and it was still kind of new. This time around, I'll have much better luck. Right? Right!

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Jessica Zellers's avatar Jessica Zellers @stellagarp.bsky.social
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I have something even better than a newsletter. I have a hashtag called Team Dying Alone and I am ready to bring it out of retirement. I use it to describe my dating adventures. Or more commonly, my I-do-not-wish-to-date-this-person adventures.

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Jessica Zellers's avatar Jessica Zellers @stellagarp.bsky.social
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I'm at the stage where I'm gathering info on the different apps into a spreadsheet so I can decide which one to use

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Jessica Zellers's avatar Jessica Zellers @stellagarp.bsky.social
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have you taken a screen capture yet? because I have.

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Jessica Zellers's avatar Jessica Zellers @stellagarp.bsky.social
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I will. I'll be obnoxious about it.

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Jessica Zellers's avatar Jessica Zellers @stellagarp.bsky.social
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I'm confident that I speak for all of Bluesky: we are so happy to see how happy it makes you

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Jessica Zellers's avatar Jessica Zellers @stellagarp.bsky.social
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Sometime I'll talk about touch deprivation. People...people don't know. Actually, more of them do now, having been through the pandemic. There are many dimensions to loneliness, but being touch-starved is a monster.

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Jessica Zellers's avatar Jessica Zellers @stellagarp.bsky.social
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No need to apologize! People typically aren't distressed by the hug emoji. That is an abnormal response I have there.

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Jessica Zellers's avatar Jessica Zellers @stellagarp.bsky.social
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Thanks, though even that emoji makes me cringe. Every time. I do not like being touched without permission. Even emoji touched. I am not mad at you. There is no reasonable way anyone could deduce that. Just letting you know exactly how touch starved I am.

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Jessica Zellers's avatar Jessica Zellers @stellagarp.bsky.social
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No, I've been on and off dating websites for decades, I know. What I'm really saying: the best way to demonstrate who I am is through writing. And I am most attracted to other people who are gifted with words.

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Jessica Zellers's avatar Jessica Zellers @stellagarp.bsky.social
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and this is probably TMI, but after a certain number of years without sex, you stop caring about the details. My last relationship ended a decade ago. I'd be happy with a hug.

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Jessica Zellers's avatar Jessica Zellers @stellagarp.bsky.social
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The writing-scape I crave would be the best way to share my personality with others, but I can answer multiple choice questions if I gotta

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Jessica Zellers's avatar Jessica Zellers @stellagarp.bsky.social
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I'm willing to pay. The single biggest regret of my life is not having someone to love, so I figure that's worth a little bit of extra money. But not everyone pays, and I want them in my consideration pool, too.

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Jessica Zellers's avatar Jessica Zellers @stellagarp.bsky.social
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that describes Bluesky when you and I met, so

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Jessica Zellers's avatar Jessica Zellers @stellagarp.bsky.social
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OKCupid is the one I'm most familiar with. I had a terrific profile there a few years ago. I'll probably go back to it for that reason... but trying to answer this question by using review websites was not working.

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