Applecores

@applecores.bsky.social

198 followers 155 following 769 posts

She/her
🦒♍️🌈
#251
#ProtectTransKids

Applecores @applecores.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 09, 2024 at 14:08 UTC

Uncaffeinated and pissed about it.

0 replies 0 reposts 5 likes

Applecores @applecores.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 05, 2024 at 17:56 UTC

Oh yeah thanks for the heads up

0 replies 0 reposts 3 likes

Applecores @applecores.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 05, 2024 at 16:58 UTC

Weeeeeeeeeelllcoooooommmme! To the Shutdown Fullbeer!

0 replies 0 reposts 5 likes

Applecores @applecores.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 03, 2024 at 16:27 UTC

That timing seems good.

1 replies 0 reposts 1 likes

Applecores @applecores.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 02, 2024 at 20:39 UTC

Heard Chappell on the speakers at my nail salon, she has more than broken containment.

0 replies 0 reposts 7 likes

Applecores @applecores.bsky.social
[ View ] Jul 01, 2024 at 14:05 UTC

Wishing everyone a happy #BobbyBonillaDay, however you celebrate!

1 replies 0 reposts 12 likes

Applecores @applecores.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 29, 2024 at 18:01 UTC

Wonder what my therapist would say if I referred to my primary wound as my Frank Thomas.

1 replies 0 reposts 6 likes

Applecores @applecores.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 26, 2024 at 11:34 UTC

Yesssss

0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes

Applecores @applecores.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 25, 2024 at 12:46 UTC

And I liked her 6 months before you did, which is amazing for a bumpkin in Alabama.

1 replies 0 reposts 0 likes

Applecores @applecores.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 23, 2024 at 16:37 UTC

Make a band smaller: Droplets of Mudd

0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes

Applecores @applecores.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 23, 2024 at 15:47 UTC

Anything in a plastic bottle is offensive

3 replies 0 reposts 3 likes

Applecores @applecores.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 23, 2024 at 14:03 UTC

I buy Hashbrown toys that mostly go ignored and then he spends 30 minutes playing with a blueberry I dropped on the floor.

0 replies 0 reposts 5 likes

Applecores @applecores.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 23, 2024 at 12:26 UTC

Coke Zero in a can is inoffensive

1 replies 0 reposts 1 likes

Applecores @applecores.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 22, 2024 at 19:02 UTC

For the second time, I got asked at Publix what kind of cat I have, and for the second time, I answered “the regular kind.”

1 replies 0 reposts 3 likes

Applecores @applecores.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 21, 2024 at 19:37 UTC

My east and south are the same as yours, north is London which was with you. West is Cannon Beach, Oregon.

1 replies 0 reposts 0 likes

Applecores @applecores.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 21, 2024 at 12:51 UTC

Beer is pretty nice. Especially when it’s cold.

4 replies 0 reposts 14 likes

Applecores @applecores.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 20, 2024 at 11:59 UTC

Oh my god I’m so sorry Archie but you look hysterical like this

1 replies 0 reposts 5 likes

Applecores @applecores.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 13, 2024 at 12:32 UTC

More realistic than a freakin narwhal

0 replies 0 reposts 3 likes

Applecores @applecores.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 06, 2024 at 20:26 UTC

Red starburst is incel starburst Orange is lesbian

0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes

Applecores @applecores.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 06, 2024 at 20:26 UTC

Really gives a new angle to the “would you rather be lost in the woods with a man or a bear” conversation.

0 replies 0 reposts 5 likes

Reposted by Applecores

◍ @smilingnodding.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 05, 2024 at 19:09 UTC

seeing a cybertruck in the wild is fun bc only 3000 have been sold so its like oh wow theres our towns Biggest Dipshit. look at him go!

133 replies 847 reposts 4295 likes

Applecores @applecores.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 06, 2024 at 20:00 UTC

Good work Professor Ollie

0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes

Applecores @applecores.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 06, 2024 at 19:57 UTC

It’s a win-win for you, either they learn the lesson or you get $20 richer. Genius.

1 replies 0 reposts 0 likes

Applecores @applecores.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 06, 2024 at 19:42 UTC

Thing that chapped my ass today: doctor’s office form had a box for sexuality with options “heterosexual, homosexual, bisexual.” Left it blank and wrote “why do you need this and if you do, you need more categories than this.” Fuckers.

1 replies 0 reposts 5 likes

Applecores @applecores.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 05, 2024 at 13:25 UTC

If I had a black cat I would name it vanta because they sure enough look like a void when they curl up in a ball

0 replies 0 reposts 2 likes

Applecores @applecores.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 05, 2024 at 13:07 UTC

Message for the people close to me: I’m doing a lot for you, you could return the favor.

0 replies 0 reposts 5 likes

Applecores @applecores.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 04, 2024 at 23:55 UTC

That’s so awesome!

0 replies 0 reposts 3 likes

Applecores @applecores.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 04, 2024 at 21:12 UTC

The league may or may not be 70% lesbian but it’s 100% not attracted to Clay Travis.

2 replies 0 reposts 12 likes

Reposted by Applecores

Howard Tayler @howardtayler.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 03, 2024 at 17:23 UTC

Saw this for the first time today. Seems legit.

27 replies 1443 reposts 4527 likes

Applecores @applecores.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 02, 2024 at 16:04 UTC

Please explain to me how a man named Glen Powell is a young actor in 2024 and not one of the Mercury astronauts.

2 replies 0 reposts 9 likes

Reposted by Applecores

Luke’s American Revolution @lfschleusener.bsky.social
[ View ] Jun 01, 2024 at 12:13 UTC

What time is it?

13 replies 229 reposts 740 likes

Applecores @applecores.bsky.social
[ View ] May 31, 2024 at 22:20 UTC

Barves comes up with a brand new sentence in human history basically everyday. Only a matter of time before a brilliant one popped out.

2 replies 0 reposts 9 likes

Applecores @applecores.bsky.social
[ View ] May 31, 2024 at 15:26 UTC

This joke is older than the Sun Bowl lore

2 replies 0 reposts 1 likes

Applecores @applecores.bsky.social
[ View ] May 30, 2024 at 23:00 UTC

“Tim Onion” has me in absolute stitches.

0 replies 0 reposts 5 likes

Applecores @applecores.bsky.social
[ View ] May 29, 2024 at 13:09 UTC

They don’t want you to know it’s artificial grandma flavoring

1 replies 0 reposts 4 likes

Applecores @applecores.bsky.social
[ View ] May 29, 2024 at 13:00 UTC

Only if it has real grandma in it

3 replies 4 reposts 27 likes

Applecores @applecores.bsky.social
[ View ] May 26, 2024 at 19:54 UTC

If this ain’t the most Bob Davie and the hawdawg machine, “this whole town’s trying to fuck me” energy I’ve ever seen

0 replies 0 reposts 7 likes

Applecores @applecores.bsky.social
[ View ] May 25, 2024 at 23:37 UTC

Having a Velcro cat is so nice in the winter and honestly miserable in the summer. Get off meeeeeeeee

0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes

Applecores @applecores.bsky.social
[ View ] May 25, 2024 at 15:54 UTC

Oh nooooo

0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes

Applecores @applecores.bsky.social
[ View ] May 24, 2024 at 21:10 UTC

This lady today was great and I told her so, and we ended up chatting about rude and stupid people for 15 minutes.

1 replies 0 reposts 4 likes

Applecores @applecores.bsky.social
[ View ] May 24, 2024 at 19:38 UTC

So a great day to go to 3 urgent cares, a lab, and the bank?

1 replies 0 reposts 0 likes

Applecores @applecores.bsky.social
[ View ] May 24, 2024 at 19:31 UTC

People are apparently such assholes to receptionists, cashiers, phlebotomists, etc that I got thanked profusely everywhere I went today for not yelling at anyone? Like, I’m having an actually shitty day and I’m apparently the most pleasant person any of these people encountered today?

4 replies 0 reposts 11 likes

Applecores @applecores.bsky.social
[ View ] May 24, 2024 at 18:00 UTC

Uber/Lyft has drastically reduced drunk driving in cities that formerly had basically zero taxis (or if they did it was 2 and one was always at the airport and the other took 2 hours to get to the bar to pick you up)

1 replies 0 reposts 6 likes

Applecores @applecores.bsky.social
[ View ] May 22, 2024 at 20:27 UTC

Important advancements in technology: my eye doctor has replaced the “puff of air” test with a new machine that just…looks at your eye. Unexpected highlight of my day tbh.

1 replies 0 reposts 4 likes

Applecores @applecores.bsky.social
[ View ] May 22, 2024 at 19:59 UTC

It appears they want me to rack up more legal fees trying to get Hinds County, Mississippi to certify another copy (Everybody within spitting distance of Jackson just shuddered at the thought. The damn courthouse was closed due to hacking for weeks last summer.)

2 replies 0 reposts 1 likes

Applecores @applecores.bsky.social
[ View ] May 22, 2024 at 19:53 UTC

The bank won’t let me close an account of my uncle’s because the judgment closing his estate is more than 60 days old. That’s ridiculous because, to quote one of the great films of our time, “he ain’t gettin’ any deader!”

3 replies 0 reposts 8 likes

Applecores @applecores.bsky.social
[ View ] May 22, 2024 at 15:28 UTC

I was wondering why Colm would have sullied himself with a national tour

1 replies 0 reposts 1 likes

Applecores @applecores.bsky.social
[ View ] May 22, 2024 at 14:59 UTC

Ramin Karimloo would have done a better job pushing the car but not near as well at the other thing.

1 replies 0 reposts 3 likes

Applecores @applecores.bsky.social
[ View ] May 22, 2024 at 14:58 UTC

This reminds me of our 1980s F-150 we used to pull the horse trailer. We called it Fred because going up hills hauling my fat ass horse it felt like we needed to get our Flintstone feet out and give it some help.

0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes

Applecores @applecores.bsky.social
[ View ] May 22, 2024 at 14:42 UTC

Brother it is peak Icee season

3 replies 0 reposts 1 likes