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Tom Bombadildo
@dildo-baggins.bsky.social
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That doesn’t make any sense but it makes total sense
0 replies 0 reposts 2 likes
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Tom Bombadildo@dildo-baggins.bsky.social |
323 followers 401 following 3431 posts
You know that one uncle who doesn’t really say much at the family gatherings but only needs one hit off a weed vape to tell you about the time your dad got his hand stuck inside a cow’s asshole and you had to call 911? I’m on here now, pass the vape
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Tom Bombadildo
@dildo-baggins.bsky.social
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That doesn’t make any sense but it makes total sense
0 replies 0 reposts 2 likes
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Tom Bombadildo
@dildo-baggins.bsky.social
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Why does he have a medallion at the base of his penis? It’s like he painted a target on his dick
0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
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Tom Bombadildo
@dildo-baggins.bsky.social
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Look, they don't just hand out little blue squares to any asshole off the street
0 replies 0 reposts 3 likes
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Tom Bombadildo
@dildo-baggins.bsky.social
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I'm not sure why, but I find the exhaustingly long versions better. Maybe it fills in blanks, I'm not sure
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Tom Bombadildo
@dildo-baggins.bsky.social
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It would be so much better if you dropped the pretense that you’re not a pawn of big business and just went full WSJ. Your bosses’ partisanship is glaringly obvious. Sell off the games division and Wirecutter and fold the rest, you right-wing knobs. Then go jerk each other off in the Hamptons.
0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
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Tom Bombadildo
@dildo-baggins.bsky.social
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ShatGPT
0 replies 0 reposts 2 likes
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Tom Bombadildo
@dildo-baggins.bsky.social
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Okay, you beautiful fools, everything on here tonight is giving me enough of a hopeless vibe that I'm gonna log off.
0 replies 0 reposts 4 likes
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Tom Bombadildo
@dildo-baggins.bsky.social
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A big black magic penis woman
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Tom Bombadildo
@dildo-baggins.bsky.social
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Buttfuck
1 replies 1 reposts 1 likes
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Tom Bombadildo
@dildo-baggins.bsky.social
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There’s never really a best time to become a parent, but your little ones will change your life forever! Mostly by consuming you from the inside out.
0 replies 1 reposts 1 likes
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Tom Bombadildo
@dildo-baggins.bsky.social
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I never bragged about this to anyone that i know, so I’ll say it here: 4 years ago whenever I was out on a walk I was having to stop every few blocks to rest. last month I walked the length of Manhattan. Barely stopped at all.
1 replies 1 reposts 6 likes
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Tom Bombadildo
@dildo-baggins.bsky.social
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That’s even more disturbing
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Tom Bombadildo
@dildo-baggins.bsky.social
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Assuming everything in a Disney ocean is sentient, what was the deal with the little mermaid’s bra? Was it a convicted criminal? Political dissident? Is it better or worse that it died of old age or illness before being used to cover her nipples? Looking for a marine biologist to chime in
1 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Tom Bombadildo
@dildo-baggins.bsky.social
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This Henson/Cronenberg collab is gonna be amazing
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Tom Bombadildo
@dildo-baggins.bsky.social
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sock puppet account
1 replies 0 reposts 2 likes
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Tom Bombadildo
@dildo-baggins.bsky.social
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Gonna demand two jumpsuits so he can maintain his 1980s double popped collar look
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Tom Bombadildo
@dildo-baggins.bsky.social
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That is absolutely true. It was all Mumford and sons and artisanal ice and mustache wax. A cursed time
0 replies 0 reposts 12 likes
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Tom Bombadildo
@dildo-baggins.bsky.social
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Hey, anybody remember this movie? Man, Stanley Tucci was great as the hit man. Anyway, good flick, very inspiring.
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Tom Bombadildo
@dildo-baggins.bsky.social
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Every one of her posts could be finished with “then everybody cheered.” You’d think someone who writes fantasy novels could come up with a better line of bullshit
0 replies 1 reposts 2 likes
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Tom Bombadildo
@dildo-baggins.bsky.social
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When this showed up in my feed I thought it was some kind of role playing game or chess variant. It’s good to be reminded of your own ignorance sometimes. Anybody wanna play a quick game of 3D Jurassic chess?
0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
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Tom Bombadildo
@dildo-baggins.bsky.social
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upinyacycling
0 replies 0 reposts 2 likes
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Tom Bombadildo
@dildo-baggins.bsky.social
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I think it’s time we all accept that whomever wins the election, this is going to be a “Weekend at Bernie’s”-type situation and just vote based on who has the least evil puppeteer
0 replies 0 reposts 3 likes
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Tom Bombadildo
@dildo-baggins.bsky.social
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I have no point to this. Just flip flop shaming
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Tom Bombadildo
@dildo-baggins.bsky.social
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We all know you exclusively wear those foam flip flops that you can only get at shops near the beach that sell towels with dirty quotes on them
1 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Tom Bombadildo
@dildo-baggins.bsky.social
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Astrology for incels
0 replies 0 reposts 2 likes
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Tom Bombadildo
@dildo-baggins.bsky.social
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Quaffing mead from NPR pledge drive swag mugs
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Tom Bombadildo
@dildo-baggins.bsky.social
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Truly the final boss for many sick people
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Tom Bombadildo
@dildo-baggins.bsky.social
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The targets are all pictures of Morris Day and the Time
0 replies 0 reposts 5 likes
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Tom Bombadildo
@dildo-baggins.bsky.social
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I like the offering of San Pelegrino at their little shrine
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Tom Bombadildo
@dildo-baggins.bsky.social
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I do not wish to touch grass, I wish to touch Benjamin, destroyer of grass
1 replies 0 reposts 2 likes
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Tom Bombadildo
@dildo-baggins.bsky.social
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Struggling to think of something mean to say about frogs. Even the big lumpy ones are cool and some of them get you super high if you lick them.
0 replies 0 reposts 2 likes
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Tom Bombadildo
@dildo-baggins.bsky.social
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Me and the boys at the bar, slammin’ ham
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Tom Bombadildo
@dildo-baggins.bsky.social
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Jesus, it takes all day to give a baby a shower?
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Tom Bombadildo
@dildo-baggins.bsky.social
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I have to carry a ladder around to most effectively piss my name on the hood
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Tom Bombadildo
@dildo-baggins.bsky.social
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I haven’t given a thought to John “Captain Beefheart was great before they went commercial” Huntsman in years.
0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
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Tom Bombadildo
@dildo-baggins.bsky.social
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0 replies 0 reposts 4 likes
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Tom Bombadildo
@dildo-baggins.bsky.social
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1. Grizzled lighthouse keeper 2. Prop master for big-budget porn 3. One-way astronaut
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Tom Bombadildo
@dildo-baggins.bsky.social
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Your flat recitation of this line makes me uncomfortable
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Tom Bombadildo
@dildo-baggins.bsky.social
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these are weed strains
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Tom Bombadildo
@dildo-baggins.bsky.social
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I have never lived in or even visited this area. I remain an enigma
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Tom Bombadildo
@dildo-baggins.bsky.social
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Optimistic weather app
0 replies 0 reposts 3 likes
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Tom Bombadildo
@dildo-baggins.bsky.social
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I see you found my Livejournal from 2002
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Tom Bombadildo
@dildo-baggins.bsky.social
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There better be a fucking clock drawing portion of the next debate. And a drug test. Jesus, that was a mess.
0 replies 0 reposts 2 likes
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Tom Bombadildo
@dildo-baggins.bsky.social
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I guarantee that they get completely blazed on every PBS show. It’s why they’re all so soothing
1 replies 0 reposts 2 likes
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Tom Bombadildo
@dildo-baggins.bsky.social
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To celebrate the memory of Shifty Shellshock from Crazytown, i pledge to make my lady come come
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Tom Bombadildo
@dildo-baggins.bsky.social
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Wait, does he eat the cum or does eating shit make him cum? Because one of those is weird but I won’t tell you which
0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
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Tom Bombadildo
@dildo-baggins.bsky.social
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Dude, it was right there in the liner notes of the limited 10th anniversary vinyl pressing. I thought you were a fellow citizen of the Crazy Town. Poser
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Tom Bombadildo
@dildo-baggins.bsky.social
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That’s so skibidi toilet of you
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Tom Bombadildo
@dildo-baggins.bsky.social
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I bet capybara tastes delicious
1 replies 1 reposts 8 likes
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Tom Bombadildo
@dildo-baggins.bsky.social
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If she blows you we’ll call it the teapot dome scandal
0 replies 0 reposts 2 likes