DougExeter

DougExeter @dougexeter.bsky.social [ View ] Jul 04, 2024 at 01:33 UTC

hate when my government forbids me from harvesting bivalves

1 replies 0 reposts 9 likes

DougExeter @dougexeter.bsky.social [ View ] Jul 01, 2024 at 01:08 UTC

sorry i drained your aquifer bro

0 replies 0 reposts 6 likes

DougExeter @dougexeter.bsky.social [ View ] Jun 29, 2024 at 00:53 UTC

DAVID LETTERMAN: macklin celebrini. macklin celebrini

0 replies 2 reposts 6 likes

DougExeter @dougexeter.bsky.social [ View ] Jun 28, 2024 at 05:35 UTC

got in trouble at the office for microwaving fish in the bathroom

0 replies 3 reposts 32 likes

DougExeter @dougexeter.bsky.social [ View ] Jun 25, 2024 at 03:40 UTC

if you dont think the NHL is rigged consider this. five weeks ago vancouver scored two goals against edmonton in game seven and were kicked out of the playoffs. today florida does the EXACT SAME THING and is awarded the stanley cup

4 replies 6 reposts 55 likes

DougExeter @dougexeter.bsky.social [ View ] Jun 25, 2024 at 03:34 UTC

getting reports that downtown edmonton is filled with shattered windows, damaged buildings, and garbage strewn everywhere. no sign of a riot though

2 replies 15 reposts 114 likes

DougExeter @dougexeter.bsky.social [ View ] Jun 25, 2024 at 02:55 UTC

close enough

0 replies 0 reposts 3 likes

DougExeter @dougexeter.bsky.social [ View ] Jun 22, 2024 at 02:56 UTC

guess i have my answer

1 replies 0 reposts 4 likes

DougExeter @dougexeter.bsky.social [ View ] Jun 21, 2024 at 04:14 UTC

clowns to the left of me, jokers to the right, here i am, graduating from clown college. this is the happiest day of my life

15 replies 267 reposts 1435 likes

DougExeter @dougexeter.bsky.social [ View ] Jun 21, 2024 at 03:39 UTC

gimme fuel gimme fire gimme hobbits in the shire

4 replies 29 reposts 159 likes

DougExeter @dougexeter.bsky.social [ View ] Jun 06, 2024 at 15:14 UTC

today, we celebrate the 30th anniversary of the 50th anniversary of d day

1 replies 1 reposts 15 likes

DougExeter @dougexeter.bsky.social [ View ] Jun 04, 2024 at 18:13 UTC

trying to decide whether its funnier if they get swept or lose game seven in overtime

2 replies 1 reposts 5 likes

DougExeter @dougexeter.bsky.social [ View ] Jun 03, 2024 at 00:19 UTC

so evidently if you use the phrase “it’s not just a blender, it’s a way of life”, your wife can cite that in divorce proceedings? was everyone aware of this??

0 replies 0 reposts 13 likes

DougExeter @dougexeter.bsky.social [ View ] May 31, 2024 at 00:59 UTC

it took a group of twelve brave souls to declare what you were all to cowardly to say: orange man bad

1 replies 1 reposts 33 likes

DougExeter @dougexeter.bsky.social [ View ] May 29, 2024 at 22:36 UTC

lol he did exactly this in the game today. unbelievable

1 replies 0 reposts 13 likes

DougExeter @dougexeter.bsky.social [ View ] May 29, 2024 at 16:22 UTC

it kind of sickens me that all of you are so happy that trump might go to prison. even if you dont agree with him, he is a man with a family. and if you cant understand that, theres a drive into deep left field by castellanos, it will be a home run. and so that will make it a 4–0 ballgame

5 replies 45 reposts 225 likes

DougExeter @dougexeter.bsky.social [ View ] May 28, 2024 at 15:38 UTC

i regret to inform you that the simpsons predicted it

1 replies 6 reposts 34 likes

DougExeter @dougexeter.bsky.social [ View ] May 25, 2024 at 01:54 UTC

Supreme Court redefines marriage to allow cop to marry the concept of Shooting A Dog. “we love it so much that we want to marry it” says police spokesperson

1 replies 20 reposts 136 likes

DougExeter @dougexeter.bsky.social [ View ] May 20, 2024 at 15:53 UTC

It’s Friday. As of tonight: vodka, ginger beer, and mint is no longer the Moscow Mule. It’s the DEMOCRACY DONKEY. 🇺🇸 P.S. F**k off, Vlad!

0 replies 1 reposts 20 likes

DougExeter @dougexeter.bsky.social [ View ] May 19, 2024 at 17:00 UTC

what the woke media wont tell you is that game seven is for all the marbles

1 replies 6 reposts 60 likes

DougExeter @dougexeter.bsky.social [ View ] May 16, 2024 at 20:34 UTC

nothing is more satisfying than knowing the extension of the person that i am trying to reach

1 replies 0 reposts 20 likes

DougExeter @dougexeter.bsky.social [ View ] May 16, 2024 at 02:29 UTC

a pet peeve of mine is when there is evidence that rebuts my preconceived notions. a neat trick ive developed is to just ignore that evidence. a related bugaboo is when theres no evidence to support my biases. in those cases i find it helpful to assume that evidence exists, or else create it myself

2 replies 7 reposts 40 likes

DougExeter @dougexeter.bsky.social [ View ] May 15, 2024 at 22:36 UTC

*when my team loses* cant believe the playoffs have caved to wokeism

0 replies 1 reposts 19 likes

DougExeter @dougexeter.bsky.social [ View ] May 03, 2024 at 21:28 UTC

trying not to lose my cool as i explain to my girlfriends dad that “old pop in an oak” is technically superior to “cotton eye joe”

0 replies 0 reposts 6 likes

DougExeter @dougexeter.bsky.social [ View ] Mar 26, 2024 at 23:59 UTC

maybe its time to bring back Make Donald Drumpf Again. it failed because it was ahead of its time

0 replies 1 reposts 38 likes

DougExeter @dougexeter.bsky.social [ View ] Mar 26, 2024 at 03:26 UTC

real tails heads know theres only one choice when flipping a coin

2 replies 7 reposts 53 likes

DougExeter @dougexeter.bsky.social [ View ] Mar 25, 2024 at 19:50 UTC

regretting my $1,000,000 bet on the Washington Generals to win the Trump Invitational Golf Tournament

0 replies 7 reposts 68 likes

DougExeter @dougexeter.bsky.social [ View ] Mar 25, 2024 at 18:19 UTC

its considered bad luck in many cultures to fall off a cliff to your death

2 replies 3 reposts 29 likes

DougExeter @dougexeter.bsky.social [ View ] Mar 25, 2024 at 17:01 UTC

i love negotiating with terrorists

0 replies 1 reposts 10 likes

DougExeter @dougexeter.bsky.social [ View ] Mar 23, 2024 at 22:52 UTC

now reading “Surnames: Not Just Indicative Of What Someone Did” by Frank Dickinson

1 replies 6 reposts 45 likes

DougExeter @dougexeter.bsky.social [ View ] Mar 23, 2024 at 22:17 UTC

elon musk has succumbed to his injuries after being beheaded on a childrens roller coaster in a mall parking lot

1 replies 3 reposts 33 likes

DougExeter @dougexeter.bsky.social [ View ] Mar 21, 2024 at 04:00 UTC

catturd trying to find God by rearranging dog

1 replies 9 reposts 96 likes

DougExeter @dougexeter.bsky.social [ View ] Mar 19, 2024 at 18:48 UTC

🎶 look at this photograph it can tell me if she has a rash 🎵

3 replies 11 reposts 77 likes

DougExeter @dougexeter.bsky.social [ View ] Mar 18, 2024 at 18:50 UTC

more like fartificial insmelligence

1 replies 13 reposts 64 likes

DougExeter @dougexeter.bsky.social [ View ] Mar 18, 2024 at 00:22 UTC

they call it march madness because of the month its mostly in

0 replies 4 reposts 26 likes

DougExeter @dougexeter.bsky.social [ View ] Mar 17, 2024 at 20:06 UTC

nature always reaches an equilibrium. earlier this week, we had pi day, the holiday for smart people. and today is saint patricks

0 replies 2 reposts 18 likes

DougExeter @dougexeter.bsky.social [ View ] Mar 15, 2024 at 14:25 UTC

SOOTHSAYER: beware the ides of march CAESAR: thats not a very soothing thing to keep saying to me, randy

0 replies 3 reposts 20 likes

DougExeter @dougexeter.bsky.social [ View ] Mar 15, 2024 at 01:57 UTC

kate middleton has been located on malaysia airlines flight 370

0 replies 1 reposts 14 likes

DougExeter @dougexeter.bsky.social [ View ] Mar 15, 2024 at 00:18 UTC

also like charlie chaplin he has a crush on an 11 year old

1 replies 0 reposts 2 likes

DougExeter @dougexeter.bsky.social [ View ] Mar 14, 2024 at 23:52 UTC

came home to find my son entertaining his friends by doing a little dance while using a stick as a cane. hes been chaplin pilled

4 replies 3 reposts 57 likes

DougExeter @dougexeter.bsky.social [ View ] Mar 14, 2024 at 23:01 UTC

i love reaffirming my pre-existing beliefs

3 replies 0 reposts 20 likes

DougExeter @dougexeter.bsky.social [ View ] Mar 14, 2024 at 18:11 UTC

sorry to tell you this. its ableist to make fun of aaron rodgers

2 replies 4 reposts 25 likes

DougExeter @dougexeter.bsky.social [ View ] Mar 14, 2024 at 01:28 UTC

separating the art from the artist in order to be able to enjoy Mein Kampf

0 replies 2 reposts 14 likes

DougExeter @dougexeter.bsky.social [ View ] Mar 13, 2024 at 03:09 UTC

four sale: baby shoes

2 replies 2 reposts 10 likes

DougExeter @dougexeter.bsky.social [ View ] Mar 13, 2024 at 01:46 UTC

if RFK Jr picks aaron rodgers as his running mate, he will continue the proud association with football started by his brother michael

2 replies 1 reposts 11 likes

DougExeter @dougexeter.bsky.social [ View ] Mar 12, 2024 at 23:23 UTC

Dune 2 will probably be better

0 replies 3 reposts 38 likes

DougExeter @dougexeter.bsky.social [ View ] Mar 12, 2024 at 00:59 UTC

*to the tune of ode to joy* ode to ode to ode to ode to ode to ode to ode to joy

3 replies 6 reposts 37 likes

DougExeter @dougexeter.bsky.social [ View ] Mar 11, 2024 at 23:52 UTC

man, if theres one thing i hate highlighting in my art, its the banality that often goes hand in glove with complicity in great evil

1 replies 10 reposts 56 likes

DougExeter @dougexeter.bsky.social [ View ] Mar 11, 2024 at 00:40 UTC

the oscars. more like the 0 scars. these actors are flawless

0 replies 0 reposts 23 likes

DougExeter @dougexeter.bsky.social [ View ] Mar 11, 2024 at 00:37 UTC

the academy awards. more like the macadamia awards. because its nuts

1 replies 1 reposts 20 likes