|
Edmonds Scanner@edmondsscanner.bsky.social |
1162 followers 691 following 1512 posts
All that we have are the mysteries hidden in misty forests
|
|
Edmonds Scanner
@edmondsscanner.bsky.social
[ View ] |
There are secret places in the forest only the owls know. Dark places lost to time and memory. Concealed by tangled trees, moss, and ancient spells. It's where you'll find the best deals on goblin bones & dark druid moonshine.
1 replies 3 reposts 11 likes
|
|
Edmonds Scanner
@edmondsscanner.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Be sure to hydrate against the heat. You wouldn't want the fine coat of moss & lichens that cover your malevolent form to dry out when you shamble out of the forest for groceries.
1 replies 8 reposts 34 likes
|
|
Edmonds Scanner
@edmondsscanner.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Your horoscope for today: Be like a bicycle - find balance through movement, and keep the rubber side down for a smooth ride.
0 replies 3 reposts 17 likes
|
|
Edmonds Scanner
@edmondsscanner.bsky.social
[ View ] |
What do you dream about? 1. castles in the sky 2. peace, love, & bagels 3. frisky cat people 4. ghosts & cheese
4 replies 3 reposts 18 likes
|
|
Edmonds Scanner
@edmondsscanner.bsky.social
[ View ] |
What do you dream about? 1. castles in the sky 2. peace, love, & bagels 3. frisky cat people 4. ghosts & cheese
4 replies 3 reposts 18 likes
|
|
Edmonds Scanner
@edmondsscanner.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Your horoscope for today: Be like the stars - ancient, distant, and predicting shipwrecks & romance.
3 replies 19 reposts 49 likes
|
|
Edmonds Scanner
@edmondsscanner.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Don't hide your laughter from the world. Let it echo down darkened alleyways, across empty playgrounds, and throughout misty forests and ancient cemeteries, sending a shiver down the spine of all who hear it.
0 replies 8 reposts 37 likes
|
|
Edmonds Scanner
@edmondsscanner.bsky.social
[ View ] |
There are many ways to improve your life. Growing antlers, festooning them with wildflowers, and strutting down the street protected in style & grace is one such way.
0 replies 5 reposts 19 likes
|
|
Edmonds Scanner
@edmondsscanner.bsky.social
[ View ] |
It's ok to lose yourself once in a while. In the darkened catacombs, the hushed forest, or across the misty moors. It might be the only way to find something new.
0 replies 13 reposts 40 likes
|
|
Edmonds Scanner
@edmondsscanner.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Your horoscope for today: Be like a clam - secretive, odd looking, and spend your days hiding in cool darkness.
0 replies 1 reposts 10 likes
|
|
Edmonds Scanner
@edmondsscanner.bsky.social
[ View ] |
What are you looking for? 1. air conditioned bookstores 2. cool, dark castles 3. secret Muppet forest 4. curly fries & cash
5 replies 8 reposts 38 likes
|
|
Edmonds Scanner
@edmondsscanner.bsky.social
[ View ] |
What do you look for in a potential partner? 1. rumpled charm & dry wit 2. cheese & dagger skills 3. strength of 2 raccoons 4. mossy charm & dark wit
10 replies 8 reposts 42 likes
|
|
Edmonds Scanner
@edmondsscanner.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Always be your true self. If the timid townsfolk cannot handle your raggedy Muppet hair, oversized concert t-shirt, and gloomy cloud of cat hair and decay, so be it.
0 replies 7 reposts 28 likes
|
|
Edmonds Scanner
@edmondsscanner.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Fragmenting of forests is a travesty, of course. But it can also be an opportunity, if you're ready. There are small pocket forests out there without a resident twig witch, bog hag, demented druid, or even a rampaging moss beast.
3 replies 8 reposts 30 likes
|
|
Edmonds Scanner
@edmondsscanner.bsky.social
[ View ] |
If you're feeling insignificant or feeling small, just remember that there's a universe inside every raindrop, and to them you're an enormous scary giant. Take comfort in that.
0 replies 2 reposts 12 likes
|
|
Edmonds Scanner
@edmondsscanner.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Your horoscope for today: Be like an atom - tiny but strong, and infused with the power of ancient starlight.
0 replies 2 reposts 11 likes
|
|
Edmonds Scanner
@edmondsscanner.bsky.social
[ View ] |
In my experience, places with books ususally frown upon patrons with greasy fingers.
0 replies 0 reposts 3 likes
|
|
Edmonds Scanner
@edmondsscanner.bsky.social
[ View ] |
What are you looking for? 1. air conditioned bookstores 2. cool, dark castles 3. secret Muppet forest 4. curly fries & cash
5 replies 8 reposts 38 likes
|
|
Edmonds Scanner
@edmondsscanner.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Don't hide your true self from the world. Set your deranged lighthouse keeper, mossy twig witch, or frazzled were-bear free and make the world hide from you.
7 replies 67 reposts 199 likes
|
|
Edmonds Scanner
@edmondsscanner.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Your horoscope for today: Be like a field of wildflowers - colorful, ephemeral, blooming quickly and fading faster.
0 replies 8 reposts 30 likes
|
|
Edmonds Scanner
@edmondsscanner.bsky.social
[ View ] |
I forgot about that one! Good choice!
0 replies 0 reposts 3 likes
|
|
Edmonds Scanner
@edmondsscanner.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Ways to beat the heat: - ice cube fights - bear hug a frost giant - see what's hidden at the bottom of a lake - fill the back of an El Camino with soft serve and dive right in - put popsicles in your pants
0 replies 8 reposts 28 likes
|
|
Edmonds Scanner
@edmondsscanner.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Your horoscope for today: Be like a loose pile of LEGO bricks - colorful, disorganized, and more fun if you ignore instructions.
0 replies 2 reposts 8 likes
|
|
Edmonds Scanner
@edmondsscanner.bsky.social
[ View ] |
What's your vibe? 1. mossy malcontent 2. antique store vampire 3. Baba Yaga in the streets 4. Muppet in the sheets
4 replies 4 reposts 41 likes
|
|
Edmonds Scanner
@edmondsscanner.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Don't give up on your dreams. Somewhere out there is a dilapidated manor house on the moors that needs a cranky caretaker, or a crumbling cliffside castle that needs someone to walk the parapets above the sea, pining for the ghosts of lost love.
1 replies 25 reposts 116 likes
|
|
Edmonds Scanner
@edmondsscanner.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Don't put off until tomorrow what you could do today. Like fleeing the library detectives in a stolen speedboat, with the skull of Agatha Christie grinning madly on the seat by your side.
0 replies 10 reposts 57 likes
|
|
Edmonds Scanner
@edmondsscanner.bsky.social
[ View ] |
There are many ways to improve your life. Crafting a cursed amulet of ancient bones & river stones that also gives decent financial advice is one such way.
2 replies 3 reposts 22 likes
|
|
Edmonds Scanner
@edmondsscanner.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Your horoscope for today: Be like an ancient castle - crumbling, mossy, and filled with bones in your catacombs.
2 replies 3 reposts 19 likes
|
|
Edmonds Scanner
@edmondsscanner.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Your horoscope for today: Be like a spider - a little creepy, yes, but also trying to rid the world of pests.
0 replies 9 reposts 23 likes
|
|
Edmonds Scanner
@edmondsscanner.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Looking for a way to beat the heat? Follow these simple steps: Enter the dark forest. Lie down on the cool moss. Become one with the stillness. Let the plant slip in between the atoms of your body and intertwine, until you become one. Rest, forever.
0 replies 6 reposts 29 likes
|
|
Edmonds Scanner
@edmondsscanner.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Remember: Respect yourself. Respect others. Respect the moss ghouls of the misty woods, unless you wish to join their number.
0 replies 11 reposts 39 likes
|
|
Edmonds Scanner
@edmondsscanner.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Your horoscope for today: Be like a coastal rainforest - mossy, dark, and moist in all the wrong places.
1 replies 6 reposts 27 likes
|
|
Edmonds Scanner
@edmondsscanner.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Fun ways to beat the heat: - swamp swimming - ice cream pants - marry a frost goblin - take a balloon trip to the Mesosphere - liquid nitrogen burrito - cave rave
2 replies 0 reposts 17 likes
|
|
Edmonds Scanner
@edmondsscanner.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Your horoscope for today: Be like a hotel hot tub - warm, inviting, and relaxing, but definitely in need of a deep cleaning.
0 replies 0 reposts 13 likes
|
|
Edmonds Scanner
@edmondsscanner.bsky.social
[ View ] |
If you owned a castle, what type of ghost would you like to haunt it? 1. frisky poltergeist 2. mournful mist 3. playful phantom 4. sexy Victorian sailor
11 replies 4 reposts 34 likes
|
|
Edmonds Scanner
@edmondsscanner.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Instead of scaring your neighbors with fireworks this year, why not scare them the old fashioned way? Grow out your antlers and fangs, cultivate a thunderous beard of moss, haunt the night, and become a terrifying creature of legend and lore.
2 replies 24 reposts 100 likes
|
|
Edmonds Scanner
@edmondsscanner.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Instead of explosions, why not share peace & quiet with your neighbors this 4th of July? And boozy milkshakes. That would be good too.
2 replies 2 reposts 25 likes
|
|
Edmonds Scanner
@edmondsscanner.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Instead of celebrating independence with fireworks, why not try: - 20 questions with an enchanted skull - tea party with the twig witch - making mead with dark druids - crafting patriotic costumes out of moss - disappearing into the dark forest, and gossiping with owls
2 replies 16 reposts 48 likes
|
|
Edmonds Scanner
@edmondsscanner.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Your horoscope for today: Be like fireworks - burn bright, give joy, and fade away into the night.
0 replies 4 reposts 20 likes
|
|
Edmonds Scanner
@edmondsscanner.bsky.social
[ View ] |
If you owned a castle, what type of ghost would you like to haunt it? 1. frisky poltergeist 2. mournful mist 3. playful phantom 4. sexy Victorian sailor
11 replies 4 reposts 34 likes
|
|
Edmonds Scanner
@edmondsscanner.bsky.social
[ View ] |
There are wolves inside of you, wild & free. There's also an ennui laden squirrel, a sleepy badger who wants to keep reading past bedtime, and a well meaning hedgehog who makes poor financial decisions.
3 replies 35 reposts 104 likes
|
|
Edmonds Scanner
@edmondsscanner.bsky.social
[ View ] |
What's on your mind? 1. dark mossy forests 2. Muppets & gentle mayhem 3. cat troubles & wine 4. whiskey & regrets
5 replies 2 reposts 30 likes
|
|
Edmonds Scanner
@edmondsscanner.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Did you know? Fir trees clean and freshen the air, but their roots also cradle and protect the tombs of the ancient timber barons, and their hoards of golden knotty pine.
2 replies 4 reposts 24 likes
|
|
Edmonds Scanner
@edmondsscanner.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Your horoscope for today: Be like the seashore - shifting, salty, and known for great beauty and destruction.
0 replies 11 reposts 22 likes
|
|
Edmonds Scanner
@edmondsscanner.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Your horoscope for today: Be like a skateboard - simple, classic, and depending on the moment, either a menace to society or a thrill ride.
0 replies 2 reposts 13 likes
|
|
Edmonds Scanner
@edmondsscanner.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Something special is in the air, and that something is Mothman.
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
|
|
Edmonds Scanner
@edmondsscanner.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Sorry. We have a job interview tomorrow at Lamp Emporium, so wish us luck!
1 replies 0 reposts 3 likes
|
|
Edmonds Scanner
@edmondsscanner.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Remember. There is still beauty in the world all around you. The vivid hues of a summer sunset, or the bright red gleam in the eyes of Mothman as he swoops down upon you in the alley behind the fish & chips shop.
1 replies 7 reposts 29 likes
|
|
Edmonds Scanner
@edmondsscanner.bsky.social
[ View ] |
There's not enough time in the world to do all that we want. Prioritize the important things, like the Muppets, music, and a little mossy mayhem now & then.
1 replies 16 reposts 46 likes
|
|
Edmonds Scanner
@edmondsscanner.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Your horoscope for today: Be like a forest brook - meandering, babbling, and collecting the bones of small creatures.
0 replies 8 reposts 27 likes