Fruit Freak

Fruit Freak @fruitfreak.bsky.social [ View ] Jul 10, 2024 at 22:40 UTC

This is how it feels to be logged on

0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes

Fruit Freak @fruitfreak.bsky.social [ View ] Jul 09, 2024 at 18:55 UTC

Scrambling around knocking tables over like a deer that got trapped indoors

0 replies 0 reposts 2 likes

Fruit Freak @fruitfreak.bsky.social [ View ] Jul 09, 2024 at 18:53 UTC

Ordering fajitas at chili's, then diving through a window because it sounds like they're bringing me a tray of snakes

1 replies 1 reposts 4 likes

Fruit Freak @fruitfreak.bsky.social [ View ] Jul 09, 2024 at 01:27 UTC

saw a little kid with a Minecraft shirt that said "crafting since alpha" 😂😂😂 nice try little man 😅 but you definitely fucking WEREN'T!! I'm not mad lol just change the shirt. Not a big deal, plenty other shirts for you to wear 😊 Wide variety of more truthful shirts on the market 😊

0 replies 0 reposts 4 likes

Fruit Freak @fruitfreak.bsky.social [ View ] Jul 08, 2024 at 17:10 UTC

The terminally ill theater kids love my "coughing's for closers" routine

0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes

Fruit Freak @fruitfreak.bsky.social [ View ] Jul 07, 2024 at 12:24 UTC

Let's keep the replies on topic please! (praising the tweet, praising me, job offers, etc)

0 replies 0 reposts 9 likes

Fruit Freak @fruitfreak.bsky.social [ View ] Jul 07, 2024 at 00:07 UTC

I need not the grave or urn, for I am immortalized as a screenshot on "iFunny Brazil"

0 replies 0 reposts 2 likes

Fruit Freak @fruitfreak.bsky.social [ View ] Jul 06, 2024 at 15:11 UTC

God that's fucking cool. Probably not great news, but still. Mission impossible shit

0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes

Fruit Freak @fruitfreak.bsky.social [ View ] Jul 06, 2024 at 03:46 UTC

Ayn Rand: oh my god... I see now how wrong I was.. Me with a time traveling xbox: they also made a second one where you can duel wield plasmids and guns but I gotta switch discs

16 replies 368 reposts 1876 likes

Fruit Freak @fruitfreak.bsky.social [ View ] Jul 06, 2024 at 02:43 UTC

Like maybe those girls from my high school who smoked cloves were right, idk

0 replies 1 reposts 5 likes

Fruit Freak @fruitfreak.bsky.social [ View ] Jul 06, 2024 at 02:42 UTC

Is it illegal to do magic spells against the leader of a country? I don't believe in magic, so that should legally absolve me. I'm just casting spells in case it works

1 replies 0 reposts 5 likes

Fruit Freak @fruitfreak.bsky.social [ View ] Jul 04, 2024 at 23:29 UTC

It's cool how little kid shows sound like slot machines

0 replies 0 reposts 2 likes

Fruit Freak @fruitfreak.bsky.social [ View ] Jul 04, 2024 at 02:53 UTC

Jun Kazama Jun, Jun, Kazama You're my butterfly Sugar Mama

0 replies 0 reposts 5 likes

Fruit Freak @fruitfreak.bsky.social [ View ] Jul 04, 2024 at 01:02 UTC

A crumpled piece of paper tells me to go 3 stops down the femur metro into Thighnatown to meet my contact. This is the job that'll kill me, I know it

1 replies 0 reposts 2 likes

Fruit Freak @fruitfreak.bsky.social [ View ] Jul 04, 2024 at 00:56 UTC

My apartment is tucked away in the western Gooch. The neon lights of Taint Alley make my bedroom glow like a phantom. This is the neighborhood where sinners thrive and good men die

1 replies 0 reposts 1 likes

Fruit Freak @fruitfreak.bsky.social [ View ] Jul 04, 2024 at 00:49 UTC

That bejeweled titan, taller than a mountain, the megacity shaped like a man. It's Manopolis

1 replies 2 reposts 4 likes

Fruit Freak @fruitfreak.bsky.social [ View ] Jul 02, 2024 at 01:30 UTC

My grandson: Papa, I did some research... During the last months of American democracy you were just joshing around on something called "blue sky"?? Me: Interesting find. Did you also find that fucking margarita I asked for

0 replies 2 reposts 7 likes