AJ

AJ @funkyiambs.bsky.social [ View ] Jul 03, 2024 at 16:39 UTC

I'll celebrate it.

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AJ @funkyiambs.bsky.social [ View ] Jun 26, 2024 at 14:24 UTC

For the first time in my life I had to ice my balls last night. These trips around the sun hold so many surprises.

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AJ @funkyiambs.bsky.social [ View ] Jun 21, 2024 at 19:21 UTC

Poison goddamn ivy

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AJ @funkyiambs.bsky.social [ View ] May 17, 2024 at 18:08 UTC

I'll get there

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AJ @funkyiambs.bsky.social [ View ] May 17, 2024 at 16:08 UTC

One of my life goals is to build a brick one on my patio

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AJ @funkyiambs.bsky.social [ View ] May 10, 2024 at 01:35 UTC

This was my Fantasy Football team name for 2 years and I don't know why I ever changed it

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AJ @funkyiambs.bsky.social [ View ] May 10, 2024 at 01:28 UTC

Worked a 13 hour day. Won't be showering before having a few beers and watching basketball. The woke mob is furious.

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AJ @funkyiambs.bsky.social [ View ] Apr 13, 2024 at 23:21 UTC

This is what my shower looks like after spreading black mulch all day

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AJ @funkyiambs.bsky.social [ View ] Apr 13, 2024 at 02:21 UTC

We used to be a proper country with Vincent Schiavelli

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AJ @funkyiambs.bsky.social [ View ] Mar 28, 2024 at 23:05 UTC

I'm built like this btw (except about 6" shorter and I can't grow body hair).

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AJ @funkyiambs.bsky.social [ View ] Mar 28, 2024 at 22:21 UTC

I have once again gotten slightly day drunk in celebration of opening day.

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AJ @funkyiambs.bsky.social [ View ] Feb 24, 2024 at 22:24 UTC

I hate that I'm being one of these blithely unthirsty dudes but those glasses are dope.

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AJ @funkyiambs.bsky.social [ View ] Nov 17, 2023 at 19:50 UTC

It is actually an incredible stroke of good timing that I got out of teaching before I could be reprimanded for condemning genocide in the classroom.

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AJ @funkyiambs.bsky.social [ View ] Nov 08, 2023 at 04:27 UTC

My run today looked like a little dude with a man bun surprised at his erection

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AJ @funkyiambs.bsky.social [ View ] Nov 01, 2023 at 10:48 UTC

Scared some children last night at Somerville Rec Committee's pumpkin patch. Fuckers gotta overcome their darkest fears if they want a free gourd around these parts.

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AJ @funkyiambs.bsky.social [ View ] Oct 24, 2023 at 23:13 UTC

Oh goddamnit

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AJ @funkyiambs.bsky.social [ View ] Oct 23, 2023 at 17:23 UTC

It seems that the fine folks at LabCorp do not like it when you respond to "How can I help you?" with "I want to give you some of my blood."

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AJ @funkyiambs.bsky.social [ View ] Oct 20, 2023 at 23:47 UTC

Tonight I learned that watching the benches clear in a baseball game while on shrooms is very fun.

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AJ @funkyiambs.bsky.social [ View ] Oct 18, 2023 at 19:08 UTC

Very excited to have gotten Jimmy Butler in my fantasy basketball draft so I could make this my logo and team name.

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AJ @funkyiambs.bsky.social [ View ] Oct 14, 2023 at 22:14 UTC

Stuff my casings, daddy.

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AJ @funkyiambs.bsky.social [ View ] Oct 14, 2023 at 20:45 UTC

Spice mixture, plus oats and casings soaking in cream

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AJ @funkyiambs.bsky.social [ View ] Oct 14, 2023 at 20:33 UTC

Stay tuned for "AJ tries to make blood pudding for tomorrow's London game boozy brunch with friends." Step one, as always, is caramelizing onions.

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AJ @funkyiambs.bsky.social [ View ] Oct 13, 2023 at 23:22 UTC

I had a few really cool Halloween activities up my sleeve that were borderline educational because it was a futile endeavor to try and actually do a normal lesson while kids are in full on Minion getups.

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AJ @funkyiambs.bsky.social [ View ] Oct 13, 2023 at 23:19 UTC

It was always fun teachin Poe during October and using this on Halloween for a fun day (I'd play poetic device BINGO with it and give out candy/prizes and shit).

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AJ @funkyiambs.bsky.social [ View ] Oct 13, 2023 at 22:58 UTC

Fret not, it will grow back.

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AJ @funkyiambs.bsky.social [ View ] Oct 13, 2023 at 15:50 UTC

Quality pun and absolutely stellar alt text.

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AJ @funkyiambs.bsky.social [ View ] Oct 12, 2023 at 23:13 UTC

She rowdy on my roddy til I pipe her.

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AJ @funkyiambs.bsky.social [ View ] Oct 12, 2023 at 13:26 UTC

I hope this email finds you clinging to some semblance of purpose in this entropic world in which everything of seeming significance is futile and fleeting.

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AJ @funkyiambs.bsky.social [ View ] Oct 12, 2023 at 01:18 UTC

Hair is graying in a lovely way.

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AJ @funkyiambs.bsky.social [ View ] Oct 10, 2023 at 23:01 UTC

I hate when cars have those spots where buttons would be if you bought the better version of your car. Fuck you don't taunt me.

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AJ @funkyiambs.bsky.social [ View ] Oct 10, 2023 at 19:59 UTC

Ahem.

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AJ @funkyiambs.bsky.social [ View ] Jul 06, 2023 at 23:37 UTC

It finally happened. I realized a pair of shorts are too short for the obvious reason a man's shorts could be too short.

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AJ @funkyiambs.bsky.social [ View ] Jul 06, 2023 at 00:14 UTC

Enjoying a fine "my back is fucking killing me from work today" tiny little joint.

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AJ @funkyiambs.bsky.social [ View ] Jul 05, 2023 at 22:18 UTC

It is simultaneously counter-intuitive and incredibly sensical, but I am way less tired after a 10 hour day of manual labor in the sun as a 35 year old than I was when I taught or worked retail, even in my early twenties.

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AJ @funkyiambs.bsky.social [ View ] Jul 05, 2023 at 21:35 UTC

Honestly the sexiest thing about me is how good I am at securing a truckload with ratchet straps quickly and effectively.

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AJ @funkyiambs.bsky.social [ View ] Jul 04, 2023 at 19:32 UTC

Cooked em, put em on the table, went to clean the grill, came back and they had been absolutely housed. I'm a fantastic burger maker and subpar Skeeter (which I have learned is the proper nomenclature).

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AJ @funkyiambs.bsky.social [ View ] Jul 04, 2023 at 15:34 UTC

Hilarious I'm in

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AJ @funkyiambs.bsky.social [ View ] Jul 04, 2023 at 15:34 UTC

Oh skeet skeet mothafuckaaaaa

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AJ @funkyiambs.bsky.social [ View ] Jul 04, 2023 at 14:53 UTC

My first post here (Bweet? Bleet?) is telling you that my 2nd post here will be the bangin burgers I make between 1 and 2 PM today, EST.

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AJ @funkyiambs.bsky.social [ View ] Jul 04, 2023 at 14:46 UTC

Genie from Aladdin.

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