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George Penney@georgepenney.bsky.social |
8070 followers 6888 following 5791 posts
Author of funny books, podcaster, GM of ridiculous TTRPG games. Queer/bi, cultural omnivore. I like tea and cats, not necessarily in that order. I inhale deeply when first stepping in to bookshops and libraries.
linktr.ee/Georgepenney
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George Penney
@georgepenney.bsky.social
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RIGHT? they're so, so small. As far as I could work out, it would be the only way the dog could actually fit, because it was too big to lie sideways on the back seat. These people obviously have powers beyond my reckoning🤣
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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George Penney
@georgepenney.bsky.social
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This one totally threw me! And it's super weird even for this gloriously oddball little part of the world🤣 I mean, I've seen some weird stuff in my time... the baboon driving the car in Saudi Arabia while its human drank Hennessy from the bottle was probably the weirdest. Until now.
0 replies 0 reposts 11 likes
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George Penney
@georgepenney.bsky.social
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Any typos spotted in this thread are most certainly caused by the wolf hound. It's obviously a superior, mind controlling beast. Who could (let's face it, anything is possible) create typos. From his Suzuki Alto kingdom.
1 replies 0 reposts 21 likes
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George Penney
@georgepenney.bsky.social
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And I have so, so MANY FREAKIN' QUESTIONS! But I also love that they exist and they might be out there right now. Werewolf man. Bored teenager. Tiny Suzuki Alto. Going off on their adventures. Their totally chill adventures. In the mountains of New Zealand. Just because. (7)
3 replies 0 reposts 29 likes
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George Penney
@georgepenney.bsky.social
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The boredom factor and the driver's benign expression indicated this was a normal occurrence. The dog was totally chill. I was behind them for about 30 minutes on the highway before I turned off. The dog didn't move once other than its shoulders tilting when the wheel turned. (6)
1 replies 0 reposts 22 likes
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George Penney
@georgepenney.bsky.social
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I went on with my day and then about 30 minutes later, I pulled out of a petrol station to be immediately overtaken by them. But this time, I had the rear view of the situation. This dog was huge. Truly huge. The car was tiny. Teenager's head was lolling with boredom. Driver acting unfazed. (5)
2 replies 0 reposts 28 likes
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George Penney
@georgepenney.bsky.social
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The dog was sitting on the back seat and was so huge, its head was resting on the driver's, its paws having come around the driver's to rest on the wheel. Both the driver's expression and the teenager's said this was completely normal and indeed, boring. (4)
3 replies 1 reposts 34 likes
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George Penney
@georgepenney.bsky.social
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They were going straight. So as they drove towards me, I could see more details. What I'd thought was a wolf man, was either a massive Irish wolfhound-or a moose dog- resting its head on the head of a middle aged man who could be the picture for "accountant" in any dictionary. (3)
2 replies 1 reposts 28 likes
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George Penney
@georgepenney.bsky.social
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The car was a tiny 80s/90s Suzuki hatchback. The wolf man was in the driver's seat with paws on the steering wheel. And a very bored looking teenager was sitting in the passenger seat. This seemed like an important detail. (2)
1 replies 0 reposts 22 likes
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George Penney
@georgepenney.bsky.social
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(Thread) Driving in the countryside here in Aotearoa New Zealand: At a 4 way intersection, I looked at the car coming from the other direction and realised that a human with a dog head was driving the car. Okay, a werewolf was driving the car. (1)
2 replies 13 reposts 48 likes
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George Penney
@georgepenney.bsky.social
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- .... .. ... / .. ... / - .... . / .... .. --. .... . ... - / --- ..-. / -.-. --- -- .--. .-.. .. -- . -. - ... / ..-. .-. --- -- / .- / -- .- --. -. .. ..-. .. -.-. . -. - / -.-. .-. . .- - --- .-. / --- ..-. / ... .... .. -. -.-- / - .... .. -. --. ... -.-.--
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George Penney
@georgepenney.bsky.social
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Now this is a Tuesday morning challenge!😁
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George Penney
@georgepenney.bsky.social
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I just looked it up. It looks fantastic. Added to the list!
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George Penney
@georgepenney.bsky.social
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Right now? Ohh I'm actually reading Doctor in the House by Richard Gordon. Absolutely cracking read. Published in the 50s, very wry humour.
You might have come across the Doctor movies? Dirk Bogarde was great in them. www.youtube.com/watch?v=XF2O...
3 replies 2 reposts 6 likes
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George Penney
@georgepenney.bsky.social
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I'm also for yodelling, morse code, semaphore and even the POWER OF MIME to share your favourite author and their books. Nothing convinces me to try a book more than someone I like telling me to read it. Especially if they look a bit wild-eyed while bellowing READ THIS NOW! (That's the best.)
4 replies 7 reposts 52 likes
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George Penney
@georgepenney.bsky.social
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Thank you!🌷
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George Penney
@georgepenney.bsky.social
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Yesterday was a bit of a jackpot. I had so many more little moments I could have shared. I think it was because the weather was so great. People were in an awesome mood.
0 replies 0 reposts 4 likes
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George Penney
@georgepenney.bsky.social
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That's so kind of you to say. It's pretty awesome here. I've only been in this little city for 8 months and it's a bit special.😊
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George Penney
@georgepenney.bsky.social
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It could explain so much. I definitely need to get bloodwork done on this🤣
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George Penney
@georgepenney.bsky.social
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All typos spotted in this thread are on day release from the Sanitarium For Confused Diction, Punctuation and Irregular Spelling. They are harmless and indeed, just want to mingle amongst the regular spelling and punctuation, and maybe get an ice-cream, before returning home.
3 replies 3 reposts 102 likes
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George Penney
@georgepenney.bsky.social
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An man (70s/80s) dapperly dressed in neatly ironed jeans, converse shoes, a bomber jacket and a flatcap listening with maximum enjoyment as the teenager at his side tells him about this cool retro band he's gotten into called The Stranglers. (5)
5 replies 2 reposts 115 likes
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George Penney
@georgepenney.bsky.social
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A small human giggling with glee as she hides in a makeshift changeroom at a recycled clothing stall. The stall owner finishes serving a customer before spinning around, spotting two small feet behind a curtain and announcing "I'm gonna GETCHA!" Giggling intensifies. Sneakiness nonexistent. (4)
2 replies 2 reposts 103 likes
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George Penney
@georgepenney.bsky.social
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A small human walking up to a Filipino food truck and being greeted in Thai by the woman at the counter. He then shyly greets her in Tagalog while his Thai/Kiwi mum stands by beaming in pride. The women then discuss how happy they are their children can speak two languages. (3)
1 replies 1 reposts 125 likes
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George Penney
@georgepenney.bsky.social
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A worried looking woman (40s?) explaining earnestly to her friend that her chamomile levels are dangerously low. Friend nods gravely in understanding. (2)
2 replies 4 reposts 107 likes
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George Penney
@georgepenney.bsky.social
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(Thread) Things spotted on market day in a small city Aotearoa New Zealand: A teenager in a hoodie and tracksuit pants, holding a head of broccoli like a bunch of flowers out to his mum saying "Happy birthday". She clutches her chest in mock surprise before breaking into laughter. (1)
5 replies 37 reposts 257 likes
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George Penney
@georgepenney.bsky.social
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Thank you! That's so lovely of you to say. I am more than happy to share all majestic beasts that cross my garden. 😊
0 replies 0 reposts 2 likes
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George Penney
@georgepenney.bsky.social
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I've yet to hear, but a discussion was had about this very thing this morning. Ear trumpets are at the ready!
1 replies 0 reposts 3 likes
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George Penney
@georgepenney.bsky.social
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I am now (if you don't mind... pretty please?) stealing this wondrous phrase to use on all fitting occasions.
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George Penney
@georgepenney.bsky.social
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Presenting Lord Vertical the second newest species of Neighbour's Cat in our garden. Brain support cat to Lady Oblong the Destroyer (see previous post). Starer through our windows. Olympic level chonky floof. Maximum scaredy cat.
6 replies 5 reposts 96 likes
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George Penney
@georgepenney.bsky.social
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AGH! This is so ridiculously cool! Can you see yourself in any of the footage?
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George Penney
@georgepenney.bsky.social
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Ah the street gossip. We've yet to meet the one here. So far they're all eccentrics. I wouldn't mind a cat that popped by, snuggled and dished the dirt.
1 replies 0 reposts 3 likes
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George Penney
@georgepenney.bsky.social
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Most definitely!
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George Penney
@georgepenney.bsky.social
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Fuckweasel is a magnificent insult. In fact, if you don't mind terribly, can I borrow it? Only for the most extreme situations... People cutting in front of me in traffic... loudly playing tiktok videos in public places etc?
3 replies 0 reposts 8 likes
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George Penney
@georgepenney.bsky.social
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Haha, it's a moving target. I mean, the list is pretty long. It'd start with the total arsebadger who regularly steals my parking space and then move on from there.
1 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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George Penney
@georgepenney.bsky.social
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If I say yes, can I be the orc with the big sword? I mean I'm 5 ft 2 and being 7 ft tall with a big sword would kind of make my day. I wouldn't smite too many people.
4 replies 0 reposts 21 likes
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George Penney
@georgepenney.bsky.social
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And when I say rush, I mean two senior citizens who are taking ages to decide on their orders and myself. And I've just noticed the ginger cake. Ohhh.
2 replies 0 reposts 36 likes
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George Penney
@georgepenney.bsky.social
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Update: There has been a rush on the counter for orders of spectating coffee.
1 replies 0 reposts 31 likes
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George Penney
@georgepenney.bsky.social
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Overheard in a cafe here in New Zealand: A regular has just been told that her daughter has used her good dressmaking scissors to trim her horse's mane. Warnings of dire retribution and strong words have been issued. The situation is escalating. Bystanders agree that retaliation is the only option.
17 replies 6 reposts 133 likes
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George Penney
@georgepenney.bsky.social
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*Barbara... OMG I'm already feeling the Streisand flames🤣
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George Penney
@georgepenney.bsky.social
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It's my pleasure😊 and frankly I think I'd keel over if Babara follwed me back. That would be the penultimate achievement!
2 replies 1 reposts 2 likes
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George Penney
@georgepenney.bsky.social
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We are and we're super excited😊🌻 Omg I love the term Undertaker of Literature!
2 replies 1 reposts 1 likes
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George Penney
@georgepenney.bsky.social
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And there you've got our blockbuster's name! Inadvisable Wizardry
1 replies 0 reposts 5 likes
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George Penney
@georgepenney.bsky.social
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The nearest curious young child in my street is obsessed with bugs, so it'd start with a kid squishing bugs (for preservation purposes) within the spell book's pages and then creating a giant spider beast that rampages through South Island, maybe questing for the perfect pie. (I would watch this.)
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George Penney
@georgepenney.bsky.social
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It's so much fun!
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George Penney
@georgepenney.bsky.social
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Have you tried slowly wheelbarrowing a giant sage bush onto their lawn and setting it on fire? Maybe spraying a fire truck's worth of salty water at their house? This sounds like an industrial level exorcism is required. Power bill fights are definitely a sign of a high level demon.
1 replies 0 reposts 5 likes
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George Penney
@georgepenney.bsky.social
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That's the guys on the other side of us, although they're super chill and put up with all my swearing, plot rants and postgraduate level blasphemy so I can't complain.😊
1 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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George Penney
@georgepenney.bsky.social
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Pretty sure they're wiccan gamers. Very chuffed to have them move in.😊
0 replies 0 reposts 3 likes
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George Penney
@georgepenney.bsky.social
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Is there any greater (evil) joy than waking up early, laying in bed, safe in the knowledge you remembered to put your bin out on time (for once) as you hear the truck outside... And then... the sweet sounds of your neighbour swearing as he frantically drags his bin to the curb Small pleasures...
1 replies 2 reposts 67 likes
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George Penney
@georgepenney.bsky.social
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My new neighbours are having an argument in their driveway about one of them losing the other's book of spells. I don't know what level and flavour of wizardry we're talking about here, or if they're team Gandalf or Saruman, but I endorse their presence in my street. 10/10.
18 replies 19 reposts 231 likes
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George Penney
@georgepenney.bsky.social
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This is sound advice😁
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