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Chris@jazzhandmedowns.bsky.social |
35 followers 53 following 310 posts
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Chris
@jazzhandmedowns.bsky.social
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Right on, Peter. There literally isn't any evidence that posting on social media has ever accomplished anything. Anyone claiming it played a role in the Arab Spring, or anywhere else, is merely caught up in the spectacle of a grand illusion.
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Use_of_...
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Chris
@jazzhandmedowns.bsky.social
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In this scenario, is the stallion naked too? If not, how clothed are we talking?
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Chris
@jazzhandmedowns.bsky.social
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Biden's team has GOTTA pull him away from speaking in long sentences; that's where he gets tripped up.
The State of the Union showed that Biden's at his best when he keeps his thoughts short, preferably to a single word:
youtu.be/Y88qlU6oZyw?...
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Chris
@jazzhandmedowns.bsky.social
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Like, I'm not even in marketing and was able to draft up a pretty solid slogan.
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Chris
@jazzhandmedowns.bsky.social
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My stupid dick when I've put it back in my pants after we've finished up at the urinal:
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Chris
@jazzhandmedowns.bsky.social
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So do you have a personality disorder, or are you just an asshole?
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Chris
@jazzhandmedowns.bsky.social
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Oh man, if the historian cited in the article isn't fibbing, we're gonna start seeing these so-called "fireworks" used for a variety of occasions—it appears that people think they're an absolute gas!
2 replies 0 reposts 9 likes
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Chris
@jazzhandmedowns.bsky.social
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You've got a weird cognitive issue where you think someone stating the way things *are* is a statement of how they ought to be: "Hey man, the roof is on fire & we're gonna have to crawl out the window cause the doors are blocked" "Oh, you think houses shouldn't have doors? I reject your calculus!"
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Chris
@jazzhandmedowns.bsky.social
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No one said it's the only way the party can maintain power. wtf are you talking about.
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Chris
@jazzhandmedowns.bsky.social
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You don't understand that 2 things can be true at once? It can be true that: 1) We needed Manchin's seat so that the GOP didn't control the Senate with a firm grip on Biden's balls AND 2) The slim majority placed Manchin in a position where he had a grip on Biden's balls and half of his shaft
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Chris
@jazzhandmedowns.bsky.social
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"The damage to the country is limited" is only true if you think Democrats are going to win every future election going forward, for there is no shortage of corrupt Republicans with authoritarian eyes on the Executive.
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Chris
@jazzhandmedowns.bsky.social
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LLM's have given us a cool, new update of the Gell-Mann Amnesia effect: "You read with exasperation or amusement the multiple errors in a story, and then turn the page [...] and read as if the rest of the newspaper was somehow more accurate about Palestine than the baloney you just read."
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Chris
@jazzhandmedowns.bsky.social
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There is no mechanism for Biden to make Trump ineligible to be President by stripping him of his U.S. citizenship. However, Biden COULD make him ineligible for the office by writing an executive order declaring that at the federal level, Trump is perpetually 34 years of old.
1 replies 1 reposts 7 likes
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Chris
@jazzhandmedowns.bsky.social
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There is no mechanism for Biden to make Trump ineligible to be President by stripping him of his U.S. citizenship. However, Biden COULD make him ineligible for the office by writing an executive order declaring that at the federal level, Trump is perpetually 34 years of old.
1 replies 1 reposts 7 likes
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Chris
@jazzhandmedowns.bsky.social
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You just don't understand the plan as it was laid out in 2016 & 2020: Step 1) Opt out of voting against Trump Step 2) Spend the next 4 years doing fuckall to change or fix the faults in the system Step 3) Get upset that nothing got changed or fixed Step 4) Go to Step 1 It's pretty straightforward.
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Chris
@jazzhandmedowns.bsky.social
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If you're going to claim that the Founders "did actually cherish the power of a king-like executive and armed agents of the government to act with impunity," you should maybe consider using your words to explain wtf you're babbling about.
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Chris
@jazzhandmedowns.bsky.social
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As children, Hollywood promised us a future in which the common man could come together to kick the living shit out of ill-conceived robots, and Philly taught us that the future is NOW.
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Chris
@jazzhandmedowns.bsky.social
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No; it's a dog.
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Chris
@jazzhandmedowns.bsky.social
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So if some lady was hopping after this dog trying to get her leg back, you wouldn't help her out? You'd just sit back and be all "What's the big deal? It's not a real leg, idiot!" That's ableist as hell, Brendel.
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Chris
@jazzhandmedowns.bsky.social
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Chris
@jazzhandmedowns.bsky.social
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Chris
@jazzhandmedowns.bsky.social
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Oh man. Just look at this barefooted bastard. You know those pants just absolutely reeked of ripe piss and rotten apples.
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Chris
@jazzhandmedowns.bsky.social
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Being a baby used to be based on MERIT
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Chris
@jazzhandmedowns.bsky.social
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You're a very bad person for compelling me to think "Oh man, I wonder whatever happened to..." and I don't appreciate it.
youtu.be/Uci3BdObWwY?...
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Chris
@jazzhandmedowns.bsky.social
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Hell, if the diaper made a third party run for the Presidency, it would sweep all 50 states and our national healing could finally begin
1 replies 0 reposts 3 likes
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Chris
@jazzhandmedowns.bsky.social
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Rubin wrote a Deez Nuts joke that doesn't include the setup? I bet he does a killer take on The Aristocrats: For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, “That’s a hell of an act. What do you call it?” And the father says, “We haven't decided yet!”
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Chris
@jazzhandmedowns.bsky.social
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This is unreal. From the single released CCTV video showing what Mar-a-lago guests had access to, it was clear that Trump had a whole stash of Ecto Cooler just sitting there.
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Chris
@jazzhandmedowns.bsky.social
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The collective that seeks out civilizations in order to assimilate their technology didn't want to attract the attention of civilizations that have advanced technology?
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Chris
@jazzhandmedowns.bsky.social
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I really need to know if Rob Zombie and Jeff Ament just happened to have the same Hat Guy, or if it was like a rivalry thing where they were constantly trying to one-up who could find a larger headpiece to prove their masculinity.
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Chris
@jazzhandmedowns.bsky.social
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You're hung up on the 2028 nominee needing to be an existing pol who's served some time in office, but that's the exact problem that's gotten us into this mess lol If you want a PROPER Gen X ticket, you gotta run Taibbi along with an A.I. that was trained exclusively on his substack
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Chris
@jazzhandmedowns.bsky.social
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I'm not following what being Mexican has to do with needing to carry around a cartoon of a child in a bikini. There's a classic documentary from the 80's that warned us kids to stay far, far away from guys lie that.
youtu.be/bFfmRegodfg?...
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Chris
@jazzhandmedowns.bsky.social
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I can't quite place it, but something about your mall ninja arsenal tells me that you're only allowed to build fences and paint houses as long as they're at least 1000 ft away from a school, park, or playground.
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Chris
@jazzhandmedowns.bsky.social
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That's not true at all—MOST people don't like the cameras because they're mounted in a stationary position. Study after study has shown that people prefer cameras to be dangling from a fishing pole held by a little turtle dude who's sitting in a cloud and following them around.
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Chris
@jazzhandmedowns.bsky.social
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I just took a quick sprint around my neighborhood to scope out all of my neighbor's cars and literally NOT A SINGLE ONE of them had nozzles, so that confirms the theory: if a car without nozzles CAN'T fly, a car WITH nozzles should be able to go to the moon and back on a single charge of electricity
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Chris
@jazzhandmedowns.bsky.social
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This fucking knob didn't even know about the sixth way of attacking with fire: leaving a flaming bag of fresh turds on your enemy's doorstep so that he ruins his new Jordans
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Chris
@jazzhandmedowns.bsky.social
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You're telling me these guys don't hang out anymore? We have lost so, so much.
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Chris
@jazzhandmedowns.bsky.social
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You're gonna feel like a real jerk when you find out that she got her PhD in Human Sexuality from a non-accredited, now-closed, diploma mill.
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Chris
@jazzhandmedowns.bsky.social
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Chris
@jazzhandmedowns.bsky.social
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How oblivious does a person have to be to somehow not notice that the US flag in their front yard is upside-down? It's not the Flag of Japan, ffs.
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Chris
@jazzhandmedowns.bsky.social
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My wife's not gonna know how to thank me when she finds out I put our entire savings into a collection of Gunthers—literally secured our retirement in a single afternoon of shrewd ebay sniping!
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Chris
@jazzhandmedowns.bsky.social
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A reminder for today, #WorldDraculaDay, that Michael B. Jordan is forfeiting stupid amounts of money by not pivoting the Creed franchise into a study of the seedy world of underground vampire boxing.
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Chris
@jazzhandmedowns.bsky.social
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It's good for real? As a lover of stuff about sand, I'm still miffed about season 1 of The Sandman. There hasn't even been a single tease about when he's gonna get turned into sand, but I haven't seen the last episode yet and it better not be a cliffhanger
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Chris
@jazzhandmedowns.bsky.social
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As long as you don't open the prayer telling the guy you know where he lives and you demand bread, it'll be smooth sailing from there.
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Chris
@jazzhandmedowns.bsky.social
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Get a load of the complete lack of emotion on this family of psychopaths in the primordial stages of building their empire of deceit. The only one showing a modicum of conscience is Abraham—notice his eyeline; he can't even bear to look at the camera.
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Chris
@jazzhandmedowns.bsky.social
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Get a load of the complete lack of emotion on this family of psychopaths in the primordial stages of building their empire of deceit. The only one showing a modicum of conscience is Abraham—notice his eyeline; he can't even bear to look at the camera.
0 replies 1 reposts 6 likes
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Chris
@jazzhandmedowns.bsky.social
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It's such a load of shit that JFK got six degrees and Billy Joel decided to focus solely on the dead thing.
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Chris
@jazzhandmedowns.bsky.social
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What a bunch of lying assholes at Stouffer's: they're declaring that their "Lasagna with Meat AND Sauce" has DOUBLE the meat of the "Lasagna with Meat Sauce" standard like they're some heroes, meanwhile, the "Lasagna with Meat AND Sauce" standard is EXACTLY THAT.
www.fsis.usda.gov/sites/defaul...
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Chris
@jazzhandmedowns.bsky.social
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In his defense, how was he to know that the guy who just inexplicably spoke to him in Spanish to tell him that he doesn't speak Spanish *actually* meant "no entiendo español"?
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Chris
@jazzhandmedowns.bsky.social
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Oh man, I just thought of the craziest idea lol. Instead of it being a cat, what if there was a photograph of a DOG reading a book lol. Can you imagine? Dogs can't read books, either lol! I'm gonna need to see if A.I. can make such an outrageous scene possible lol
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Chris
@jazzhandmedowns.bsky.social
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