McSweeney's Publishing @mcsweeneys.bsky.social

"After 1 to 2 days, he’ll be able to eat food he UberEatses. Within 3 to 4 weeks, he can start driving up the prices at nearby secondhand stores. In 1 to 2 months, he should notice an increased ability to break down local traditions."
www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/you...

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