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Michael Clear
@michaelclear.bsky.social
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A friend describes capitalism as trying to see how close the rich and powerful can get to slavery before someone makes them stop
1 replies 3 reposts 25 likes
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Michael Clear@michaelclear.bsky.social |
21 followers 38 following 488 posts
He Who Shapes, I often yell at television screens when a cake is brought out but not eaten
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Michael Clear
@michaelclear.bsky.social
[ View ] |
A friend describes capitalism as trying to see how close the rich and powerful can get to slavery before someone makes them stop
1 replies 3 reposts 25 likes
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Michael Clear
@michaelclear.bsky.social
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I told Jesus I was sorry for my sins and he was like ok you’re forgiven. Ha! I wasn’t sorry but now I get to skip Hell
0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
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Michael Clear
@michaelclear.bsky.social
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I gave up on them though I'd still be there too if my living depended on internet engagement so can't blame you
0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
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Michael Clear
@michaelclear.bsky.social
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Don't ask how I know (everyone has a hobby) but dolphin pee is very distinctive. You can spend hours doing it and not find two that smell alike.
1 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
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Michael Clear
@michaelclear.bsky.social
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Imagine how far along the Greens would be right now if they hadn't wasted the last 25 years and did the actual work instead of their "run for President, whine about how unfair the process is, lose, hit the lecture circuit" cycle every 4 years
1 replies 0 reposts 5 likes
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Michael Clear
@michaelclear.bsky.social
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In fairness she did get elected last time because her opponent was a right wing lunatic though he did WAY better than he should have. My right wing coworkers on election day were convinced he would win
0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
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Michael Clear
@michaelclear.bsky.social
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Then maybe they realized his condition made it impossible for him to keep track of them selling weapons to Iran to finance wars in Central America
0 replies 0 reposts 2 likes
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Michael Clear
@michaelclear.bsky.social
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Yeah everyone's been saying that to the Greens for over 20 years. Their strategy is still "run for president, whine about how unfair the whole process is then grift on the lecture circuit till it's time to run for president again"
0 replies 0 reposts 2 likes
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Michael Clear
@michaelclear.bsky.social
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You can take this seriously when they call for Trump to drop out which they've never done
0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
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Michael Clear
@michaelclear.bsky.social
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I was a kid. I'm only talking about what I personally knew him for back then and that's what stood out
1 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Michael Clear
@michaelclear.bsky.social
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Before he was VP I only knew who Gore was because was wife was on a crusade to censor song lyrics
3 replies 0 reposts 14 likes
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Michael Clear
@michaelclear.bsky.social
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Is it just me who thinks this or is the party that proudly claims they're going to cut Social Security losing at least some support from old people?
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Michael Clear
@michaelclear.bsky.social
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You can laugh but did ISIS get him? No!
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Michael Clear
@michaelclear.bsky.social
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People who say stuff like this never ever think their jobs might also go away or that maybe they should.
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Michael Clear
@michaelclear.bsky.social
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My life would be very different if there had been a booth for that on Career Day
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Michael Clear
@michaelclear.bsky.social
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Until now I thought you were a professional burrito critic
1 replies 0 reposts 18 likes
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Michael Clear
@michaelclear.bsky.social
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you write books?
1 replies 0 reposts 5 likes
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Michael Clear
@michaelclear.bsky.social
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The musical Rent is going to make zero sense now www.cnbc.com/2024/06/20/g...
0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
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Michael Clear
@michaelclear.bsky.social
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These look like pictures of a man who tipped the lap dancer $1200 but she still wouldn't come back to his room for drinks
0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
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Michael Clear
@michaelclear.bsky.social
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No no no here’s why I wasn’t mansplaining (1/635)
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Michael Clear
@michaelclear.bsky.social
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There are 3 different versions of the Ten Commandments. One of them forbids you to boil a baby goat in its own mothers milk which must have been a huge problem back then
1 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Michael Clear
@michaelclear.bsky.social
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I work in a factory with no air conditioning. The people who used to object to DEI classes stopped when they realized it meant they get to stop working for a few hours and instead sit in a climate controlled room where they enjoy danish and coffee plus free pizza for lunch
0 replies 0 reposts 3 likes
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Michael Clear
@michaelclear.bsky.social
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I for one hate that we torture these kids for their adrenochrome since that leaves fewer kids we can recruit into our transgender army
1 replies 0 reposts 4 likes
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Michael Clear
@michaelclear.bsky.social
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The guy is like if poorly drawn animated characters suffering from the uncanny valley effect came to life
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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SaraKateW, Torpid Homebody
@sarakatew.bsky.social
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I POOPED AT THE SEANCE
92 replies 652 reposts 3778 likes
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Michael Clear
@michaelclear.bsky.social
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those bored apes must be worth a million bucks a piece by now
0 replies 0 reposts 2 likes
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Michael Clear
@michaelclear.bsky.social
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Just noticed I literally have all store brands and no name brands in my fridge or on my shelves. This is what I was told as a kid would happen if the communists ever took over
0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
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Michael Clear
@michaelclear.bsky.social
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Digging into polling subtabs is the last refuge of the incompetent
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Michael Clear
@michaelclear.bsky.social
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Only ones not laughing are the poor Tesla engineers who will lose their jobs if they can't build him a teleportation time machine
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Michael Clear
@michaelclear.bsky.social
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Hopefully they can get to the bottom of the mystery of why people are hesitant to spend hundreds of dollars on concert tickets at a time when many of us have decided to stop spending 12 bucks on a Big Mac
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Michael Clear
@michaelclear.bsky.social
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I need something like that for why Kirk, Spock and Uhura never got together and said "Remember that time we were all singing? That was freaky, right?"
1 replies 0 reposts 5 likes
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Michael Clear
@michaelclear.bsky.social
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I want Trump’s probation officer make him get a job washing dishes and knock on his door at 6 AM to make sure he’s home and not using drugs
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Michael Clear
@michaelclear.bsky.social
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Kathy Hochul is still governor because her opponent last time around was Trump ally Lee Zeldin and he did better than he should have. Since reelection she worked really hard to appoint a anti-abortion judge to the New York's equivalent of the Supreme Court but I'm sure she'll learn
1 replies 0 reposts 2 likes
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Michael Clear
@michaelclear.bsky.social
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“Let’s team Ethan Hawke up with Selena Gomez and just…see what happens” is a thought someone had a decade ago
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Michael Clear
@michaelclear.bsky.social
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Someone there must be thinking this is proof that George Soros controls the weather
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Michael Clear
@michaelclear.bsky.social
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I once thought of (but never wrote) a fanfiction crossover of Sandman, Catch-22 and Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Is that in there?
1 replies 0 reposts 3 likes
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Michael Clear
@michaelclear.bsky.social
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This is it folks. This is the kind of spontaneous publicity that makes people. Things are going to start happening for me now
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Michael Clear
@michaelclear.bsky.social
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We won youtu.be/girIs_uWmYw?...
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Michael Clear
@michaelclear.bsky.social
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I’ve said it before, if you see Trump with a fake mustache sneaking onto a plane to Russia, just let him go
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Michael Clear
@michaelclear.bsky.social
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HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA yeah I know some right wing judge will say Trump can serve his sentence in the White House just let me enjoy this HA HA HA HA HA HA
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Michael Clear
@michaelclear.bsky.social
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People often cheer on others for using what they think are genius ideas that they don't support and act like they could never have thought of even though they just wrote it all out
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Michael Clear
@michaelclear.bsky.social
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Sam Bankman-Fried certainly thought that before he went to prison
0 replies 0 reposts 3 likes
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Michael Clear
@michaelclear.bsky.social
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Science fiction writers failed to predict "The world ends so we can generate fake pics of people with too many fingers"
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Michael Clear
@michaelclear.bsky.social
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I'm assuming she has offered solutions on how to do that starting with "First we cut off aid..."
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Michael Clear
@michaelclear.bsky.social
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Entire industry knows the biggest movie night of the week is Tuesday because tickets are half off. Corporate executives: "Let's make them take out a second mortgage to see Furiosa 🙂"
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Michael Clear
@michaelclear.bsky.social
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In fairness how could he possibly have anticipated it would rain in London?
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Michael Clear
@michaelclear.bsky.social
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That explains it. They'll get to him as soon as Operation: Death To Dayton wraps up
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Michael Clear
@michaelclear.bsky.social
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Once had a coworker say to me "I need my car to go that fast. What if terrorists are chasing me?" (To this day terrorists have not chased him. As far as I know anyway)
2 replies 1 reposts 10 likes
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Michael Clear
@michaelclear.bsky.social
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Is it hidden to this day or can you get there by answering a riddle?
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Michael Clear
@michaelclear.bsky.social
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I'm not sure who is motivated by "We are ineffective but we're that way for the right reasons." Republicans smash norms but they get some of the most unpopular parts of their agenda passed
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes