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Helle
@misshelle.bsky.social
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Well shit.
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Helle@misshelle.bsky.social |
221 followers 153 following 3091 posts
Mom, Witch, Electronic Musician, Drone Crone, Gamer. Aspiring Shieldmaiden. Chaos-bringer. She/Her. đłď¸âđđłď¸ââ§ď¸
GĂŚĂ° a wyrd swa hio scel
linktr.ee/michellevynessa
Discord: @miss.helle
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Helle
@misshelle.bsky.social
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Well shit.
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Helle
@misshelle.bsky.social
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This is a very sterile, bot-like, highly polished, far too slick type of post to try and drum up business, like when corporations try too hard to make a "viral" post with absolutely no life behind it. I didn't like that on Twitter, I like it here even less
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Helle
@misshelle.bsky.social
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I go to the washroom at work, and there's a woman wearing gym shorts and a tank, ringing out her socks in the sink, her other clothes hanging on stall doors, looking just absolutely done with today. I'm with you there, lady.
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Helle
@misshelle.bsky.social
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It's only 9am and I've already had 2 showers. Thanks Beryl.
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Helle
@misshelle.bsky.social
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We are super lucky, and we know it! Fortunately, we were able to connect with a different branch when he lived with the ex, and that was clutch during the actual Crisis part of all this.
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Helle
@misshelle.bsky.social
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Absolutely! I've found this to be right on the money.
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Helle
@misshelle.bsky.social
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It really does! This place is nearby, and is totally covered for youth 12-25! Would be silly to not take them up on this!
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Helle
@misshelle.bsky.social
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So much this! I personally feel like demanding anything is a little arrogant, regardless of how long you've been practicing. I've been practicing for several years, and I make requests, but with the understanding that the spirits may choose not to fulfil those things, and that's fine.
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Helle
@misshelle.bsky.social
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I appreciate that! I will, even if they can't give me any answers that I can't already give myself (my ex is broken, and has nothing to do with me, etc.) they can give me space to vent, and maybe tools to be an even better mom than I already work at being đđ
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Oregon Rolled A 20
@oregonrolleda20.bsky.social
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Helle
@misshelle.bsky.social
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Until a few months ago (maybe longer, who knows...) they hadn't done anything of the sort to the Teenager. And despite it all, I'm *still* trying to not bad-talk his other parent. He frankly had enough of that with them talking all sorts of shit about me.
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Helle
@misshelle.bsky.social
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I know it will! It was getting increasingly more difficult for me to handle it without accidentally trauma dumping on him, something my ex had done (likely fictional traumas, by the sound of it), because guess who the ex got to first, me. All the things he's been dealing with, they did to me, too.
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Helle
@misshelle.bsky.social
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Give it a couple of decades. In most cyberpunk dystopian fiction, the Fall happens first. Guess where we are!
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Helle
@misshelle.bsky.social
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Well shit, they don't mess around with youth mental health care! He has an appointment *today*!!
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Helle
@misshelle.bsky.social
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We're in the process of getting the Teenager set up with a therapist, hopefully this week! He's been doing mostly well ever since moving in, but there's still a lot off things he's sifting through, and a professional would be best. I am certainly NOT unbiased here.
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Helle
@misshelle.bsky.social
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*snort*
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Helle
@misshelle.bsky.social
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Sounds like a convo we had a few months ago when I was on my cyberpunk bs. It's like this genre is used as a road map instead of the intended cautionary tale.
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Helle
@misshelle.bsky.social
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Wednesday, I think.
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Helle
@misshelle.bsky.social
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Stay safe, Violet!! I hope everyone that isn't Ted Cruz or John Cornyn comes through this unscathed! đđ
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Helle
@misshelle.bsky.social
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And to add to that, hearing the Teenager's trauma has brought some of my own back to the surface, and I'd like to sift through that (again) before potential spillover onto a new human who doesn't deserve any splash damage.
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Helle
@misshelle.bsky.social
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I absolutely get that. I began my "better on my own" period when I began my transition journey. I had heard so many horror stories of other people thinking they had a say in someone else's path that I wanted no part in that. Now, our home is... not suited to dating life. (too small/no privacy)
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Helle
@misshelle.bsky.social
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I get to live vicariously through your tales of wonder, as I apparently will not be near a relationship of my own for some time. I was asked if I was aro/ace a little while ago, and lol nope, gayer than a bag of glitter, I just have other priorities, currently my son's wellbeing.
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Helle
@misshelle.bsky.social
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Yes, and? I don't understand "straight" relationships (even - and maybe especially - when I thought I was IN one) and even I'm tremendously invested in this tale!
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Helle
@misshelle.bsky.social
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I'm with it, but I very much would prefer not to be
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Helle
@misshelle.bsky.social
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Thank you, I will need it.
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Helle
@misshelle.bsky.social
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I just got back to work after a week off and I would very much like to turn around and go back home.
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Helle
@misshelle.bsky.social
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I can't help but think of 1940s Bogart/Bacall era Hollywood romance when you tell these stories, complete with trench coats, fedoras and far too many cigarettes
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Helle
@misshelle.bsky.social
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Thank you! What he's been going through is all too familiar territory for me, so I can help him navigate it fairly well. I'm so happy I even get to be his mom, I couldn't imagine not wanting to show up for him
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Helle
@misshelle.bsky.social
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This triggered a craving for my oma's cooking and a discussion with the Teenager about our roots and the problematic branches of our family tree. But mostly schnitzel and sauerkraut.
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Helle
@misshelle.bsky.social
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You kids are lucky to have such a wonderful mom in you. đđ¤
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Helle
@misshelle.bsky.social
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Probably, but I've seen what that kind of self-medicating does first hand in my ex. All I think it does is delay the trauma, not prevent it. I believe this is behind my ex's current health issues which surround all the drama I've been talking about.
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Helle
@misshelle.bsky.social
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That sure is the best place to start!
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Helle
@misshelle.bsky.social
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It's been in my Top 5 for nearly 40 years for a reason!
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Helle
@misshelle.bsky.social
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The Teenager and I are watching the Princess Bride, and I'm not sure what amuses him more, the movie itself, or my gleeful enjoyment of it.
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Helle
@misshelle.bsky.social
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Now, he does have a future. He's happy and had hope. He's in charge of that. He's in charge of whether there's any future contact with his other parent. He decides what path(s) he takes. It's my job to help him fly, not clip his wings.
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Helle
@misshelle.bsky.social
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Ex ultimately overestimated their cleverness, while underestimating the Teenager's resourcefulness. There were services at his school that basically saved him, or, helped him save himself.
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Helle
@misshelle.bsky.social
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"Only I can give you a future," they had said while wanting the Teenager to drop out of school to stay at home with them, isolating him from the outside world, especially me.
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Helle
@misshelle.bsky.social
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Every few days, it seems, I learn more about just how narrowly we avoided a MUCH different end to the drama my ex started a couple of months ago. If the Teenager wasn't able to know truth from fiction... ex has lost their gaslighting game; they went too hard, too fast this time, and lost.
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đśď¸ Fuck off Carol Hamilton đśď¸
@catespice.bsky.social
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Seeing more and more anti-trans people blaming transgender people for the growing homophobia in the West. No Terfy McTerface, your gay friend isn't being called slurs on the street because of something I've done. It's because people like YOU are enabling the bigots and they are getting bolder.
4 replies 49 reposts 210 likes
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Helle
@misshelle.bsky.social
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I'd say, Canada's a big place, and there's lots of room, but Canada's not doing super great these days. At least we don't arm 4th graders, though
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Helle
@misshelle.bsky.social
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That's all you and I can do for our kids. You're amazing, Mossy. đđ¤
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Helle
@misshelle.bsky.social
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That's a mood. I'm glad my son has his own phone and can sort that out for himself, because the shenanigans of the last few months has left me with zero desire to hang around that door, either. But it seems to be they fucked around and found out. Oops.
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Helle
@misshelle.bsky.social
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All you can do then is keep the door open for your kids whenever they want it, and if they don't, that's alright, too.
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Helle
@misshelle.bsky.social
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Does anyone really ever *know* if they're getting it right? But yeah, he's definitely in the doesn't like and is NC with the other parent. Hasn't given them his new number, doesn't want them to have access, etc. His call, I just support his choices
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Helle
@misshelle.bsky.social
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YUP. I've been balancing that fine line pretty hard myself. Giving enough supportive information, while not speaking ill. I'm still sort of apologizing by saying that my ex's health is bad and they were doing what they could, but not excusing the behaviour, either.
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Helle
@misshelle.bsky.social
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Yeah, so I'm trying to help him navigate what he went through, while keeping my mouth shut because he still loves them and doesn't need me throwing all the shade, and working through my own privately, because he doesn't need to see that either. Ex was trauma dumping on him regularly.
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Helle
@misshelle.bsky.social
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This is basically where I'm at now. When shit hit the fan between my ex and my kid a couple of months ago, it's brought up a lot of unresolved issues I had surrounding my marriage with them, which sort of got repeated onto the kid, but to a lesser degree (I think)
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Helle
@misshelle.bsky.social
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I hate that my ex's health has fallen so badly. I wish for the Teenager's sake they would do something about it. But at least they won't take our child down with them as they go. Hopefully having all of their time to focus on themself will get them healthy again.
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Helle
@misshelle.bsky.social
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He's told me that life with the other parent had no real future. They didn't want him to go to uni, just to stay at home with them forever. He knows he wouldn't have been able to grow and flourish like he will be now.
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Helle
@misshelle.bsky.social
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Thank you! It's a pretty good school, and I'm excited for him and his future!
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