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open can of brainworms 🥫🧠🪱@onlinefunctions.bsky.social |
312 followers 315 following 3859 posts
i post with my heart he/him/them | bi | critical care medic rentier classicide stan drakenier shitposts & pokemon vgc a future is not given to you. it is something you must take for yourself. at the end of everything, hold on to anything.
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open can of brainworms 🥫🧠🪱
@onlinefunctions.bsky.social
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lmao @ "Biden is persuadable" like first of all you'd probably struggle to persuade him of what year it is but also, lmao "we can push him left" worked really well the last four years huh
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open can of brainworms 🥫🧠🪱
@onlinefunctions.bsky.social
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not sure it should be legal for monster to be called an energy drink with only 140mg caffeine
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open can of brainworms 🥫🧠🪱
@onlinefunctions.bsky.social
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The secret is to use one of the weird Gatorade flavors as a mixer so that when you are poisoned against it forever it's not a big loss
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open can of brainworms 🥫🧠🪱
@onlinefunctions.bsky.social
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imagine posting offline
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open can of brainworms 🥫🧠🪱
@onlinefunctions.bsky.social
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This and some bisacodyl We have the technology
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open can of brainworms 🥫🧠🪱
@onlinefunctions.bsky.social
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open can of brainworms 🥫🧠🪱
@onlinefunctions.bsky.social
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frankly the more I think about it the more I think I've been fucking up by not liking my own posts like if I don't like them why am I even posting them oh shit this is the kind of dangerous thinking that destroys a person
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open can of brainworms 🥫🧠🪱
@onlinefunctions.bsky.social
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tomato also necessary but only for the bagel not for the bit
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open can of brainworms 🥫🧠🪱
@onlinefunctions.bsky.social
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just nova lox bagel with onions in the back of my bus and if someone smells the onions they can't mention it because they're in an ambulance and there's no tactful way to do that
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open can of brainworms 🥫🧠🪱
@onlinefunctions.bsky.social
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5g chess moves
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open can of brainworms 🥫🧠🪱
@onlinefunctions.bsky.social
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you gonna put fishes on the bagel?? I'm ngl one of the big advantages of the ambulance life is that while on the one hand I'm basically a paid medical vagrant, otoh I can get a bagel with a fish on it once I'm already at work
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open can of brainworms 🥫🧠🪱
@onlinefunctions.bsky.social
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Anyone who notices you liking your own posts is looking at who is liking your posts which is an equally deranged thing so it's absolutely a winning gambit
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open can of brainworms 🥫🧠🪱
@onlinefunctions.bsky.social
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what are the things in the little pockets surely to god some nerd has explained them
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livvy the kikimouse✴️🐭
@mousegirl.boo
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wife (sees me with 12 dogs and a pallet of duct tape): honey..? me: not now im making a dogdecahedron
6 replies 21 reposts 86 likes
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open can of brainworms 🥫🧠🪱
@onlinefunctions.bsky.social
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open can of brainworms 🥫🧠🪱
@onlinefunctions.bsky.social
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he wasn't the president then
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open can of brainworms 🥫🧠🪱
@onlinefunctions.bsky.social
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it's pretty cool it looks like a little rocketship
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open can of brainworms 🥫🧠🪱
@onlinefunctions.bsky.social
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morty no these aren't okay morty please
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open can of brainworms 🥫🧠🪱
@onlinefunctions.bsky.social
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open can of brainworms 🥫🧠🪱
@onlinefunctions.bsky.social
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have a hard time imagining another country signing a contract to start planning how to clean up a giant bridge that fell down in just a few months!!!!
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open can of brainworms 🥫🧠🪱
@onlinefunctions.bsky.social
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wow they approved a contract to start cleaning up the key bridge capitalism sure is amazing
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bites u
@bitesu.bsky.social
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11 replies 53 reposts 209 likes
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open can of brainworms 🥫🧠🪱
@onlinefunctions.bsky.social
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I know a lot of people are upset about the scotus ruling and Trump, but don't despair! Here's how Hillary can still win,,,
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open can of brainworms 🥫🧠🪱
@onlinefunctions.bsky.social
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It's a pretty decently put together thing too if this is the 6 hour video like it flows pretty well, I don't think it has reincarnation unless there's been an update I watched it all in one night while I was transitioning to overnight shifts for a few days lol
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open can of brainworms 🥫🧠🪱
@onlinefunctions.bsky.social
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I will never get someone a starter pack. They must log on as babes, naked and and fearful, discovering themselves in a sin cursed world and clawing out their own way, or else succumbing to its terrible presence. Only then can it be known if they are truly online, or if they log off in vain.
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open can of brainworms 🥫🧠🪱
@onlinefunctions.bsky.social
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I have finished playing Shield and captured Zam in a love ball to use in VGC, mission accomplished
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open can of brainworms 🥫🧠🪱
@onlinefunctions.bsky.social
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most big VGC stuff is still happening on x the everything app and that sucks so we really need to cultivate the scene here
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open can of brainworms 🥫🧠🪱
@onlinefunctions.bsky.social
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trying to think of how to structure a Pokemon VGC feed that doesn't reduplicate the Pokemon feed but still hits the competitive things that feed misses
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open can of brainworms 🥫🧠🪱
@onlinefunctions.bsky.social
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The last few weeks have just been like "1000% chance of rain for 6 hours overnight" and then by mid evening that day it's like "actually it's not going to rain at all, hell it might be sandstorms"
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open can of brainworms 🥫🧠🪱
@onlinefunctions.bsky.social
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lmao funnily enough it's the Maryland rain forecasts that prompted this post
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open can of brainworms 🥫🧠🪱
@onlinefunctions.bsky.social
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lol if you're looking at weather forecasts in 2024 you fool weather, like seasons, cannot be predicted, it just happens arbitrarily
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open can of brainworms 🥫🧠🪱
@onlinefunctions.bsky.social
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By what metric? Like my favs? Murkrow, Regidrago, Toxapex
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open can of brainworms 🥫🧠🪱
@onlinefunctions.bsky.social
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great choice, welcome friend
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open can of brainworms 🥫🧠🪱
@onlinefunctions.bsky.social
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It's a good listen, I listened to it one night while staying up late transitioning to third shift
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Prufrock451
@prufrock451.bsky.social
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We’re a shitty alpha build of democracy and it’s so rickety everyone believes patching anything would crash the whole system
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open can of brainworms 🥫🧠🪱
@onlinefunctions.bsky.social
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we're using the alpha version of constitutional government and looking at all these other countries, modeled after our own but with many fixes, with a kind of sneering condescension
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open can of brainworms 🥫🧠🪱
@onlinefunctions.bsky.social
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"This case will bring much-needed clarity to whether the Constitution contains special protections for gender identity." normal countries write laws, but in the US we need dinosaurs to figure out if they can interpret a 200 year old document the right way to give people rights lol
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open can of brainworms 🥫🧠🪱
@onlinefunctions.bsky.social
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trying to think of the circumstances in which I want to apply the brake but also, I want to keep the accelerator engaged
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open can of brainworms 🥫🧠🪱
@onlinefunctions.bsky.social
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I'm playing Pokemon sword and shield for the first time now that I'm in the off season before the next VGC season and man I love these aesthetics
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open can of brainworms 🥫🧠🪱
@onlinefunctions.bsky.social
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God grant me the confidence of a Pokemon rival who insists he'll be the best despite never winning once against me
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open can of brainworms 🥫🧠🪱
@onlinefunctions.bsky.social
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Yeah man like I'm a big gin lover and my go to has been a Tom Collins for a while but now,,, And a lot of bartenders don't know a Tom Collins but "do a gin sour and throw maraschino in it" is e-z if they don't know this thing
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open can of brainworms 🥫🧠🪱
@onlinefunctions.bsky.social
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a silly number of bartenders cannot pour a Tom Collins
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open can of brainworms 🥫🧠🪱
@onlinefunctions.bsky.social
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Dang I just drank an Aviation and like shit, fuck man I've been drinking lame cocktails my whole life, I think I'm an aviation guy now with gin sour and a splash of maraschino as a fallback for a bartender who doesn't know standards
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open can of brainworms 🥫🧠🪱
@onlinefunctions.bsky.social
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shout-out to SMTV for having the most realistic demon dialogues ime
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open can of brainworms 🥫🧠🪱
@onlinefunctions.bsky.social
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it's cool that we could basically hit all the climate goals by just destroying all bitcoins and AI but why stop there? full butlerian jihad and also death to global capital lfg
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open can of brainworms 🥫🧠🪱
@onlinefunctions.bsky.social
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heck yeah, here for a long time not a good time
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open can of brainworms 🥫🧠🪱
@onlinefunctions.bsky.social
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oh you think you're ripped? I'm jacked on a spiritual level That's right I've been exercising with my
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open can of brainworms 🥫🧠🪱
@onlinefunctions.bsky.social
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Hell yeah
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open can of brainworms 🥫🧠🪱
@onlinefunctions.bsky.social
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Kingdom of Night*
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open can of brainworms 🥫🧠🪱
@onlinefunctions.bsky.social
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strictly speaking we don't know what's going on over in the kingdom of darkness either
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