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Cezary Jan Strusiewicz@ostrichson.bsky.social |
471 followers 102 following 6656 posts
Writer, translator, comedian, and Korpiklaani fan in Yokohama. Work: The Japan Times, Tokyo Weekender, Star Trek, and more. Also involved with regional Japanese tourism. Other obsessions: Oda Nobunaga, Bane, Justified, Godzilla. He/him. 日本語 OK!
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Cezary Jan Strusiewicz
@ostrichson.bsky.social
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Humans: *spend millennia domesticating dogs so they'd protect us from strangers* Modern dogs: *bark at strangers* Humans: "No! Bad dog!" Modern dogs: ???!?!
0 replies 5 reposts 17 likes
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Cezary Jan Strusiewicz
@ostrichson.bsky.social
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Me: Alright, let's enjoy some creative Canadian insults with "Shoresy"! Shoresy: *heartbreaking melancholy of a man aging out of a brutal sport that nonetheless offered him peace, a sense of belonging, and a connection to something deeper* Me: *through tears* G-give your balls a tug...
1 replies 0 reposts 2 likes
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Cezary Jan Strusiewicz
@ostrichson.bsky.social
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Biden should drop out. Then drop in. Then drop out. Then shake it all about before turning himself around. That’s what it’s all about.
0 replies 2 reposts 9 likes
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Cezary Jan Strusiewicz
@ostrichson.bsky.social
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Naps are underrated.
2 replies 0 reposts 3 likes
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Cezary Jan Strusiewicz
@ostrichson.bsky.social
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Humans: *spend millennia domesticating dogs so they'd protect us from strangers* Modern dogs: *bark at strangers* Humans: "No! Bad dog!" Modern dogs: ???!?!
0 replies 5 reposts 17 likes
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Cezary Jan Strusiewicz
@ostrichson.bsky.social
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What this tells me is that you can apparently charge Candace $500 for an oil change.
0 replies 0 reposts 5 likes
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Cezary Jan Strusiewicz
@ostrichson.bsky.social
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British Empire: the Ronald Reagan of global powers.
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Cezary Jan Strusiewicz
@ostrichson.bsky.social
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Me, whenever I enter a record store:
0 replies 1 reposts 6 likes
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Cezary Jan Strusiewicz
@ostrichson.bsky.social
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*urge to invent giant coffee mug-shaped toilet intensifies*
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Cezary Jan Strusiewicz
@ostrichson.bsky.social
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If I could just bounce off of this... Famine. Do we REALLY need it?
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Cezary Jan Strusiewicz
@ostrichson.bsky.social
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Yeah, if I remember. Will be a while though. High 90s for the foreseeable future.
1 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Cezary Jan Strusiewicz
@ostrichson.bsky.social
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As soon as the weather drops below 90F, I'm going to hike so goddamn hard in my local woods. I'll find the best walking stick and do the entire course twice while pretending I'm a wizard. It'll be so right and tight.
1 replies 0 reposts 4 likes
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Cezary Jan Strusiewicz
@ostrichson.bsky.social
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No books or comics. Just the movie and TV stuff. But I got it ALL, including Godziban and Godzilla Island:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=_WG5...
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Cezary Jan Strusiewicz
@ostrichson.bsky.social
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We haven't changed for millennia (joyous.)
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Cezary Jan Strusiewicz
@ostrichson.bsky.social
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地
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Cezary Jan Strusiewicz
@ostrichson.bsky.social
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Before AI I wasn't sure I believed in a soul. Now that I've seen pictures that CLEARLY don't have it, I'm considering running for Pope.
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Cezary Jan Strusiewicz
@ostrichson.bsky.social
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The thing is... Biden thinks it will work. In his heart of hearts he believes that he's dealing with people who can be reasoned with instead of what they really are: domestic terrorists.
1 replies 0 reposts 2 likes
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Cezary Jan Strusiewicz
@ostrichson.bsky.social
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On the one hand, yes, this will cause a lot of harm BUT it will also not bring any conservatives to his side who don't believe in any trans rights. So...
0 replies 0 reposts 9 likes
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Cezary Jan Strusiewicz
@ostrichson.bsky.social
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I'd sooner believe them if that cat had a gun to its head, and the ad said: "Vote for us or the animal gets it." Much more on brand for them.
0 replies 0 reposts 3 likes
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Cezary Jan Strusiewicz
@ostrichson.bsky.social
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$1 Billion Movie Idea: "The Suicide Squad" but only for characters played by Matt Berry
0 replies 1 reposts 11 likes
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Cezary Jan Strusiewicz
@ostrichson.bsky.social
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It's a lovely coincidence. Exactly 15 movies.
0 replies 0 reposts 2 likes
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Cezary Jan Strusiewicz
@ostrichson.bsky.social
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15 more Batman movies: Gotham Knight Year One Bad Blood Gotham by Gaslight Batman and Harley Quinn Hush Batman v. Superman Superman/Batman: Public Enemies Son of Batman The Dark Knight Returns The Long Halloween The Killing Joke Death in the Family Soul of the Dragon The Doom that Came to Gotham
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Cezary Jan Strusiewicz
@ostrichson.bsky.social
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To clarify: I own everything that can be owned. "Monarch: Legacy of Monsters" will never be released on physical media so that's why it's not sitting on my shelf.
1 replies 0 reposts 2 likes
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Cezary Jan Strusiewicz
@ostrichson.bsky.social
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Such a beautiful coincidence.
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Cezary Jan Strusiewicz
@ostrichson.bsky.social
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IT ARRIVED!!! I now own every Godzilla movie and series (plus essential Godzilla-related stuff*) on physical media. From this day on, I'll never be Godzilla-less. *Includes The Beast from 20,000 Fathoms (the film that inspired Godzilla), the orig. King Kong, and the solo Mothra and Rodan films.
1 replies 0 reposts 4 likes
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Cezary Jan Strusiewicz
@ostrichson.bsky.social
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Godzilla (Showa era movies) Exactly 15
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Cezary Jan Strusiewicz
@ostrichson.bsky.social
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I could go on...
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Cezary Jan Strusiewicz
@ostrichson.bsky.social
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Batman (1989) Batman Returns Batman Forever Batman & Robin Batman Begins The Dark Knight The Dark Knight Rises The Batman Batman: Mask of the Phantasm Batman: Under the Red Hood Batman vs. Robin Batman: Assault on Arkham Batman Ninja Batman vs. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles The LEGO Batman Movie
2 replies 1 reposts 6 likes
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Cezary Jan Strusiewicz
@ostrichson.bsky.social
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The GOP going in HARD this year with people who murder dogs. Bold strategy. Let's see if it plays out!
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Cezary Jan Strusiewicz
@ostrichson.bsky.social
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Too much chin.
0 replies 0 reposts 2 likes
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Cezary Jan Strusiewicz
@ostrichson.bsky.social
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Biden should drop out. Then drop in. Then drop out. Then shake it all about before turning himself around. That’s what it’s all about.
0 replies 2 reposts 9 likes
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Cezary Jan Strusiewicz
@ostrichson.bsky.social
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TV shows are REALLY bad at writing ppl who only speak "a little English." Their English is usually too full of complex, idiomatic expressions and grammatical structures. You need someone for whom English is a second language to write believable dialogue for them. I'm available for script doctoring.
0 replies 1 reposts 2 likes
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Cezary Jan Strusiewicz
@ostrichson.bsky.social
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$1 Billion Movie Idea: "The Suicide Squad" but only for characters played by Matt Berry
0 replies 1 reposts 11 likes
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Cezary Jan Strusiewicz
@ostrichson.bsky.social
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Procrastinators are often the hardest working people ever
0 replies 0 reposts 3 likes
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Cezary Jan Strusiewicz
@ostrichson.bsky.social
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1. Person makes video where they DO stuff like dance, or share interesting insight, or, I don't know, show off their sinful ankles or whatever. 2. Someone makes a "reaction" vid that's just the orig. vid with a few "Oh wow. Yeah. Totes." Added value = 0. 3. Vid#2 makes $10,000. 4. I punch God.
2 replies 1 reposts 9 likes
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Cezary Jan Strusiewicz
@ostrichson.bsky.social
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From the goober-faced “doge meme” Kabosu to Hachiko, the Akita who visited Shibuya Station to meet his master for years after the man’s death, Japanese history is full of good dogs. Japanese mythology, though, is a different story. Details in my new article:
www.tokyoweekender.com/art_and_cult...
0 replies 1 reposts 3 likes
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Cezary Jan Strusiewicz
@ostrichson.bsky.social
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Excellent cat cable management. Very neat.
0 replies 0 reposts 3 likes
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Cezary Jan Strusiewicz
@ostrichson.bsky.social
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Pretty good, bespoke cedarwood
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Cezary Jan Strusiewicz
@ostrichson.bsky.social
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Abolish every single "food rule," which is an insane concept btw, and embrace total food freedom. Eat your fish with red wine. If you like it, who tf has the right to tell you you're wrong? Eat your dessert before the main meal. PUT KETCHUP ON YOUR STEAK. IT'S FOOD. YOU eat FOOd how YOU like it ffs.
1 replies 2 reposts 3 likes
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Cezary Jan Strusiewicz
@ostrichson.bsky.social
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Good news, then! SCOTUS just ruled that girls can have fun as an official act.
1 replies 0 reposts 12 likes
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Cezary Jan Strusiewicz
@ostrichson.bsky.social
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It's actually "What's up, Snoopy Cup?" Too soon?
2 replies 2 reposts 16 likes
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Cezary Jan Strusiewicz
@ostrichson.bsky.social
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"Man didn't want to talk to me about his friends' bedroom kinks. The 'penised lesbians' are to blame." Let's at least be happy for Rowling's brainworms that are eating big and often.
0 replies 1 reposts 64 likes
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Cezary Jan Strusiewicz
@ostrichson.bsky.social
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Pirated movies sold from the official WH website, with low-quality ink-jet printer covers.
0 replies 1 reposts 8 likes
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Cezary Jan Strusiewicz
@ostrichson.bsky.social
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Leeches, the lot of them.
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Cezary Jan Strusiewicz
@ostrichson.bsky.social
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We got to stop fetishizing food and coming up with idiotic food rules. So some people like their steak well done. Shut the fuck up about it. It has nothing to do with you. Go play outside. Touch grass. Eat the grass. Eat the grass with mayo, I don't care. Also, try mayo/vinegar on fries. It's good.
0 replies 0 reposts 2 likes
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Cezary Jan Strusiewicz
@ostrichson.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Abolish every single "food rule," which is an insane concept btw, and embrace total food freedom. Eat your fish with red wine. If you like it, who tf has the right to tell you you're wrong? Eat your dessert before the main meal. PUT KETCHUP ON YOUR STEAK. IT'S FOOD. YOU eat FOOd how YOU like it ffs.
1 replies 2 reposts 3 likes
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Cezary Jan Strusiewicz
@ostrichson.bsky.social
[ View ] |
TWIST: I don't have a lawn because I don't own land because I'm an older Millennial. Still cranky, though. The lawn is in my heart.
0 replies 0 reposts 2 likes
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Cezary Jan Strusiewicz
@ostrichson.bsky.social
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Forgot Step 0: 0. I'm a cranky old man. Get off my lawn.
1 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Cezary Jan Strusiewicz
@ostrichson.bsky.social
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1. Person makes video where they DO stuff like dance, or share interesting insight, or, I don't know, show off their sinful ankles or whatever. 2. Someone makes a "reaction" vid that's just the orig. vid with a few "Oh wow. Yeah. Totes." Added value = 0. 3. Vid#2 makes $10,000. 4. I punch God.
2 replies 1 reposts 9 likes
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Cezary Jan Strusiewicz
@ostrichson.bsky.social
[ View ] |
The show can't afford the CGI for the whale, though. Gonna have to use a puppet.
1 replies 0 reposts 1 likes