Amanda

Amanda @pandamoanimum.bsky.social [ View ] Jul 10, 2024 at 21:22 UTC

0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes

Amanda @pandamoanimum.bsky.social [ View ] Jul 10, 2024 at 21:01 UTC

England are through to the final of Euro 2024. The Tories have been voted out. I’d just like to suggest to the person with the magic lamp that they use their last wish very wisely.

11 replies 39 reposts 116 likes

Amanda @pandamoanimum.bsky.social [ View ] Jul 04, 2024 at 10:10 UTC

1 replies 2 reposts 26 likes

Amanda @pandamoanimum.bsky.social [ View ] Jul 03, 2024 at 07:53 UTC

Just realised that in only 2 years time it’ll be 30 years since Three Lions (Football’s Coming Home) was released, so in 2026 it’ll be the same time difference between England winning the World Cup and the song release and the song release and the present date, and that’s made me feel quite ancient.

0 replies 0 reposts 10 likes

Amanda @pandamoanimum.bsky.social [ View ] Jul 02, 2024 at 10:04 UTC

Apparently it’s 9 years today since I discovered that adding googly eyes to the tap on a wine box makes it look like Shaun the Sheep.

1 replies 6 reposts 39 likes

Amanda @pandamoanimum.bsky.social [ View ] Jun 30, 2024 at 10:11 UTC

It’s lovely taking the dogs for a walk and enjoying the beauty of nature you see along the way.

2 replies 0 reposts 13 likes

Amanda @pandamoanimum.bsky.social [ View ] Jun 26, 2024 at 09:13 UTC

In this heat, pretend you're on holiday abroad by drinking beer at 8am and then going to Asda wearing a bikini and flip flops to buy 4 giant bags of crisps and a bottle of water.

0 replies 0 reposts 3 likes

Amanda @pandamoanimum.bsky.social [ View ] Jun 20, 2024 at 19:29 UTC

I often see a woman in the park picking dandelions. I found out today she picks them for her 32 years old tortoise, Stanley, that her late husband bought her as a 17th wedding anniversary gift (the traditional gift for 17 years is shells) as she’d wanted a tortoise since she was a child.

0 replies 6 reposts 127 likes

Amanda @pandamoanimum.bsky.social [ View ] Jun 20, 2024 at 11:31 UTC

Instead of an “Accountancy Apprenticeship”, I just accidentally told someone my daughter was doing an “Apprenticey Accountantship” and this is why I prefer staying at home, talking to my dogs, rather than interacting with people.

0 replies 1 reposts 9 likes

Amanda @pandamoanimum.bsky.social [ View ] Jun 16, 2024 at 08:02 UTC

To all the dads on Father’s Day. I hope, today, that every light in an empty room is turned off and all thermostats are left where you set them.

0 replies 1 reposts 20 likes

Amanda @pandamoanimum.bsky.social [ View ] Jun 12, 2024 at 13:51 UTC

People who are unironically using the term ‘Jenny Lec’ for the General Election no doubt also count down in sleeps till they go on their holibobs with their gawjus famalam to chillax and totes legit can’t wait for wine o’clock on Fri-Yays to have a cray cray cheeky sesh babez.

4 replies 0 reposts 12 likes

Amanda @pandamoanimum.bsky.social [ View ] Jun 11, 2024 at 11:50 UTC

Whoever came up with naming birds really missed a trick by not calling a baby pigeon a smidgen.

1 replies 3 reposts 24 likes

Amanda @pandamoanimum.bsky.social [ View ] Jun 08, 2024 at 10:04 UTC

Pick your spirit animal.

4 replies 8 reposts 22 likes

Amanda @pandamoanimum.bsky.social [ View ] May 28, 2024 at 11:53 UTC

The perfect sponge holder doesn’t exi-

1 replies 25 reposts 109 likes

Amanda @pandamoanimum.bsky.social [ View ] May 28, 2024 at 09:31 UTC

7am - So tired I could WEEP. 9am - I’ve got so much to do but no energy. 12pm - Can’t stop yawning. 4pm - Is it bedtime yet? 6pm - HOW IS IT NOT BEDTIME YET? 9pm - Perkier. 10pm WIDE AWAKE! 12am - Hey! I’m not tired at all now! 1am - Think I might rearrange all the kitchen cupboards!

0 replies 0 reposts 12 likes

Amanda @pandamoanimum.bsky.social [ View ] May 18, 2024 at 11:06 UTC

Me when the washing machine timer says 1 minute left until the cycle finishes vs Me when the washing machine cycle actually finishes and I can open the door

1 replies 0 reposts 25 likes

Amanda @pandamoanimum.bsky.social [ View ] May 16, 2024 at 18:00 UTC

Me: I am a logical and rational fully grown adult. Also me: I must run as fast as I can up the stairs after I’ve switched the light off at night so no monsters can grab me by the ankles.

1 replies 1 reposts 11 likes

Amanda @pandamoanimum.bsky.social [ View ] May 12, 2024 at 10:49 UTC

Well that’s an interesting line of products that Tesco is apparently selling now 👀

0 replies 2 reposts 20 likes

Amanda @pandamoanimum.bsky.social [ View ] May 07, 2024 at 17:45 UTC

I’ll be 48 in a few days and I’m still not ashamed to admit that, in the days leading up to my birthday, I get a certain amount of pleasure when I see food or drink packaging which has my birthday as its expiration date.

1 replies 0 reposts 17 likes

Amanda @pandamoanimum.bsky.social [ View ] May 02, 2024 at 15:36 UTC

They always did back when I spent a lot of time being drunk in bar toilets 🤷🏻‍♀️

1 replies 0 reposts 2 likes

Amanda @pandamoanimum.bsky.social [ View ] May 02, 2024 at 15:32 UTC

The world would probably be a much nicer place if we all treated everyone as well as drunk girls in the toilets of bars treat each other.

2 replies 1 reposts 16 likes

Amanda @pandamoanimum.bsky.social [ View ] Apr 30, 2024 at 11:36 UTC

Don’t think I’ll be able to top meeting 4 dachshunds called Gary, Steve, Kevin and Dave in the park a couple of weeks ago, but I just met 2 schnauzer puppies called Sandra and Denise, which came a close second.

1 replies 2 reposts 19 likes

Amanda @pandamoanimum.bsky.social [ View ] Apr 20, 2024 at 11:37 UTC

Overheard in card shop today. Assistant: You’ve got 3 cards. If you buy 4, you get 1 free. Anyone else you could get one for? Family? Friend? A neighbour? Very sweet looking little old lady: Oh, no thank you, dear. I’m not buying one for my neighbour. I hate that old cow.

1 replies 6 reposts 88 likes

Amanda @pandamoanimum.bsky.social [ View ] Apr 12, 2024 at 12:05 UTC

Just met 4 dachshunds in the park called Gary, Steve, Kevin and Dave, and my day improved by approximately 659%

1 replies 3 reposts 25 likes

Amanda @pandamoanimum.bsky.social [ View ] Apr 09, 2024 at 16:13 UTC

No. Because it’s a toastie not a grilled cheese, so there’s no butter involved.

0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes

Amanda @pandamoanimum.bsky.social [ View ] Apr 09, 2024 at 09:36 UTC

Stages of owning a toastie maker. 1. OMG! Just remembered we have a toastie maker. Why don’t we ever use it? 2. Find toastie maker. 3. Make tons of toasties. 4. Remember it’s a bugger to clean. 5. Get bored of toasties. 6. Put it back in cupboard. 7. 6 months later, repeat stage 1 etc.

4 replies 1 reposts 24 likes

Amanda @pandamoanimum.bsky.social [ View ] Apr 05, 2024 at 11:22 UTC

We can only hope! 🤞🏼

0 replies 0 reposts 2 likes

Amanda @pandamoanimum.bsky.social [ View ] Apr 05, 2024 at 11:08 UTC

You know how care homes for elderly people have dances where they play music from the residents youth. Just thinking what it will be like when us 90s kids are in homes and Jump Around causes 6 residents to break a hip and 3 to choke on their dentures trying to do the running man.

3 replies 3 reposts 24 likes

Amanda @pandamoanimum.bsky.social [ View ] Apr 01, 2024 at 08:34 UTC

April Fool’s Day. A day where you shouldn’t trust anything you read or anything anyone says. So basically the same as every other day then.

0 replies 2 reposts 15 likes

Amanda @pandamoanimum.bsky.social [ View ] Mar 31, 2024 at 23:01 UTC

Happy April, Fools.

0 replies 1 reposts 8 likes

Amanda @pandamoanimum.bsky.social [ View ] Mar 18, 2024 at 18:38 UTC

I can see the logic in this, and it’s quite a clever idea for brides (as it is a bastard having a wee in a wedding dress), but I really can’t take it seriously after seeing the last photo.

1 replies 2 reposts 2 likes

Amanda @pandamoanimum.bsky.social [ View ] Mar 11, 2024 at 13:20 UTC

I think it’s pretty diabolical that some people are saying the Princess of Wales’ Mother’s Day picture may have been photoshopped. It’s a beautiful photo.

0 replies 8 reposts 27 likes

Amanda @pandamoanimum.bsky.social [ View ] Feb 14, 2024 at 10:59 UTC

This year, for Lent, I’m giving up.

2 replies 3 reposts 22 likes

Amanda @pandamoanimum.bsky.social [ View ] Feb 14, 2024 at 10:59 UTC

White wine is white. Red wine is red. Valentine's Day is nonsense. Let's get shit faced instead.

0 replies 2 reposts 17 likes

Amanda @pandamoanimum.bsky.social [ View ] Feb 11, 2024 at 21:13 UTC

If The Body Shop started selling Dewberry, Fuzzy Peach, Ananya and White Musk perfume oils again, then all the nostalgic women in their 40s/50s who would buy them could basically save the entire business.

0 replies 1 reposts 21 likes

Amanda @pandamoanimum.bsky.social [ View ] Feb 07, 2024 at 18:54 UTC

Well obviously this had to be done.

0 replies 1 reposts 21 likes

Amanda @pandamoanimum.bsky.social [ View ] Feb 07, 2024 at 12:18 UTC

This is from a few years ago, but it’s still a level of pettiness I can totally get behind.

0 replies 2 reposts 20 likes

Amanda @pandamoanimum.bsky.social [ View ] Jan 26, 2024 at 22:32 UTC

My husband when he sees me wandering round the house with a tape measure.

0 replies 1 reposts 24 likes

Amanda @pandamoanimum.bsky.social [ View ] Jan 20, 2024 at 11:03 UTC

As it's Tom Baker's 90th birthday today here, again, is his quote when asked his one biggest Doctor Who memory.

6 replies 29 reposts 103 likes

Amanda @pandamoanimum.bsky.social [ View ] Jan 18, 2024 at 09:21 UTC

1 replies 10 reposts 51 likes

Amanda @pandamoanimum.bsky.social [ View ] Jan 12, 2024 at 10:48 UTC

Was watching a cooking video on Instagram but, sadly, I’ll never know how the recipe turned out, as when the guy referred to the smoked paprika as smokey pap pap I automatically threw my phone out of the nearest window in a blind rage.

4 replies 8 reposts 54 likes

Amanda @pandamoanimum.bsky.social [ View ] Jan 04, 2024 at 10:50 UTC

Day 1 of healthy eating. SO good to be eating healthily again. I feel fitter and better in myself already. Bring it on! Day 4 of healthy eating. I miss cheese so much I want to cry. I’ve forgotten the taste of chocolate. Vegetables taste of sadness and resentment. I’ve never known such misery.

1 replies 0 reposts 18 likes

Amanda @pandamoanimum.bsky.social [ View ] Jan 01, 2024 at 12:02 UTC

I don’t know why people find Dry January hard. Mine is already going great. So far today I’ve had 3 glasses of dry white wine, 2 pints of dry cider and a dry martini.

1 replies 5 reposts 27 likes

Amanda @pandamoanimum.bsky.social [ View ] Jan 01, 2024 at 00:06 UTC

Happy New Year!

1 replies 5 reposts 41 likes

Amanda @pandamoanimum.bsky.social [ View ] Dec 31, 2023 at 14:57 UTC

Shout out now to all the amateur drinkers who think, because it’s New Year’s Eve, they can suddenly cope with 9 pints of lager and 6 Jägerbombs and will be found in the early hours of 2024 lying face down in a bush and crying for their mum after shitting themselves.

1 replies 0 reposts 20 likes

Amanda @pandamoanimum.bsky.social [ View ] Dec 30, 2023 at 23:08 UTC

When your nana finally learns how to FaceTime.

2 replies 4 reposts 24 likes

Amanda @pandamoanimum.bsky.social [ View ] Dec 29, 2023 at 09:33 UTC

My New Year’s resolution is to give up

1 replies 1 reposts 7 likes

Amanda @pandamoanimum.bsky.social [ View ] Dec 27, 2023 at 11:49 UTC

ADVERTS. Before Christmas. BUY CAKE! BUY CHOCOLATE! BUY MEAT! BUY CHEESE! BUY BOOZE! EAT AND DRINK EVERYTHING! MORE! MORE! MORE! After Christmas. DIET! LOSE THAT DISGUSTING CHRISTMAS WEIGHT, LARDO! DETOX! EW, YOUR JEANS DON'T FIT, CHUNKY! LOOK AT YOU, FATSO! YOU MAKE ME SICK!

1 replies 5 reposts 23 likes

Amanda @pandamoanimum.bsky.social [ View ] Dec 25, 2023 at 09:01 UTC

Can you even call yourself a proper parent if you don’t spend the entire time when your family are opening presents on Christmas Day hovering around them on high alert with a bin bag to instantly gather up the discarded wrapping paper.

0 replies 3 reposts 27 likes

Amanda @pandamoanimum.bsky.social [ View ] Dec 24, 2023 at 19:55 UTC

“You, boy, is big Tesco open on Boxing Day?”

0 replies 2 reposts 28 likes