PhilipC

PhilipC @philipcarlson.bsky.social [ View ] Jun 26, 2024 at 21:17 UTC

I agree, and while technically accurate, "assless socks" doesn't hit quite the same way.

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PhilipC @philipcarlson.bsky.social [ View ] Jun 22, 2024 at 20:04 UTC

Like you're not allowed to complain about the country, unless it's about liberal policies.

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PhilipC @philipcarlson.bsky.social [ View ] Jun 22, 2024 at 19:46 UTC

You'd think someone would've taken that kid's gun away after the first shooting, not let the lil bugger run rampant for two years!!

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PhilipC @philipcarlson.bsky.social [ View ] Jun 21, 2024 at 04:09 UTC

“Don’t vote for Joe! He’s got blow!” - might not be the dunk that the Mandarin Convict thinks it is.

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PhilipC @philipcarlson.bsky.social [ View ] Jun 15, 2024 at 02:21 UTC

Shark: “Pass! had my fill of Cheetos at lunch”

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PhilipC @philipcarlson.bsky.social [ View ] May 30, 2024 at 21:35 UTC

“I’m a very innocent man!” Said no innocent man ever.

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PhilipC @philipcarlson.bsky.social [ View ] May 19, 2024 at 17:18 UTC

Intriguing how the word ‘oversight’ came also to be used as its opposite.

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PhilipC @philipcarlson.bsky.social [ View ] May 15, 2024 at 21:30 UTC

Well at least the zombies will get some added flavor.

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PhilipC @philipcarlson.bsky.social [ View ] May 12, 2024 at 18:02 UTC

The options are a pair of scissors stuck in your eye or a chicken sandwich with mayo and some people are willing to lose an eye because they prefer mustard.

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PhilipC @philipcarlson.bsky.social [ View ] May 10, 2024 at 18:35 UTC

A1, definitely. Ketchup is perfect with the Uruk-Hai fries, though.

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PhilipC @philipcarlson.bsky.social [ View ] May 10, 2024 at 03:59 UTC

How long until he's up at the podium yelling "The spice must flow!!!" ?

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PhilipC @philipcarlson.bsky.social [ View ] May 10, 2024 at 01:56 UTC

Really depends on the sauce.

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PhilipC @philipcarlson.bsky.social [ View ] May 10, 2024 at 01:53 UTC

And for the cannabis crowd: I Can't Believe it's Pot Spudder®

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PhilipC @philipcarlson.bsky.social [ View ] May 09, 2024 at 21:57 UTC

Cannibal Corpse

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PhilipC @philipcarlson.bsky.social [ View ] Apr 27, 2024 at 02:05 UTC

Maybe NWA just really didn't like Sting's singing.

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PhilipC @philipcarlson.bsky.social [ View ] Apr 19, 2024 at 20:45 UTC

and if it's all according to plan, that means God is going, "hey Luce, that really is some crazy stuff"

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PhilipC @philipcarlson.bsky.social [ View ] Apr 18, 2024 at 16:27 UTC

It's "supreme" -- I think that means it comes with sour cream and guacamole.

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PhilipC @philipcarlson.bsky.social [ View ] Apr 11, 2024 at 02:43 UTC

Were they all the same word? Technically that still counts.

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PhilipC @philipcarlson.bsky.social [ View ] Mar 20, 2024 at 04:29 UTC

Post: "My dog had puppies and they're ready to adopt out!" Comments: "OMG, U monster! Spay/Neuter your pets!!", "You probably run a puppy mill, I'm reporting you", "City laws only permit you to have so many dogs, how many animals do you have caged up?"

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PhilipC @philipcarlson.bsky.social [ View ] Mar 08, 2024 at 02:04 UTC

Yeesh, I need to busy then, I only upped my imaginary criming by 50% last year.

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PhilipC @philipcarlson.bsky.social [ View ] Feb 29, 2024 at 04:33 UTC

And technically, there's many uses for a dead body. I mean, look at Weekend at Bernie's...dead people can still be productive members of society.

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PhilipC @philipcarlson.bsky.social [ View ] Feb 21, 2024 at 05:20 UTC

Do snails think they are moving quickly?

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PhilipC @philipcarlson.bsky.social [ View ] Feb 03, 2024 at 19:57 UTC

To anyone that says they aren't voting because they aren't 'excited' about any of the candidates: Get over yourself. It's an election, not an entree you're trying at Applebee's.

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PhilipC @philipcarlson.bsky.social [ View ] Jan 17, 2024 at 00:40 UTC

Within _how many_ minutes? That could've been hours.

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PhilipC @philipcarlson.bsky.social [ View ] Jan 10, 2024 at 18:42 UTC

After an hour of watching tv with commercials, I feel: a) Scared that I might have at least 5 different diseases b) Bad for not supporting 5 different charities for kids c) Bad for not supporting 5 different charities for animals d) Sad for Applebee's for even trying e) all of the above

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PhilipC @philipcarlson.bsky.social [ View ] Jan 04, 2024 at 03:09 UTC

Wild that the tv show has the super-sized actor, while the movies got the jr. menu.

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PhilipC @philipcarlson.bsky.social [ View ] Dec 04, 2023 at 03:59 UTC

All this hoohah about Q-Learning. Didn't we learn all about them in Star Trek shows?

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PhilipC @philipcarlson.bsky.social [ View ] Dec 04, 2023 at 03:57 UTC

It's obvious folks, Skynet sent a terminator back from the future to put Altman back in charge to keep the timeline intact.

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PhilipC @philipcarlson.bsky.social [ View ] Nov 23, 2023 at 21:20 UTC

You'd think by now, they'd have gotten further than half-way.

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PhilipC @philipcarlson.bsky.social [ View ] Nov 19, 2023 at 19:06 UTC

Seems like most social media posts about the war boil down to: "If you don't think like I do, you are a <insert cliche insult here>"

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PhilipC @philipcarlson.bsky.social [ View ] Nov 15, 2023 at 08:35 UTC

If a baby started talking at all, that would be evidence of their demonic possession and you'd need to call the skydiving priest to do an in-air exorcism. Alternatively you pull your cord and leave the weirdo talking baby to do whatever infernal activities it was sent here by Satan to do.

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PhilipC @philipcarlson.bsky.social [ View ] Oct 20, 2023 at 03:06 UTC

The poles wash daily, and yet still emit an odor. It is a shame we must remind them of their 'condition' every time we refer to them.

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PhilipC @philipcarlson.bsky.social [ View ] Oct 16, 2023 at 22:42 UTC

"How dare you people not buy our product for more than it's worth!!!" *stomps angrily* "Fine, we'll just take it off the shelves entirely!!! That'll show 'em!!!"

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PhilipC @philipcarlson.bsky.social [ View ] Oct 16, 2023 at 01:09 UTC

How close to perfect do you require the creators of the content you enjoy to be? Put another way: How flawed will you let the human that created your favorite song be before you stop liking it? Not implying a right answer or trying to be combative, just putting the question out there.

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PhilipC @philipcarlson.bsky.social [ View ] Oct 11, 2023 at 07:11 UTC

What did Austin Powers say to the horny Jedi? "Obi Haaaayvvvve" How's that for a first post? This is how social empires begin, right?

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