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Rap Bastardz
@rapbastardz.bsky.social
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Don’t get too close in case it spontaneously burst into flames.
1 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Rap Bastardz@rapbastardz.bsky.social |
81 followers 60 following 466 posts
Producer/Director of unscripted stuff you watch on cable, Netflix & Disney+. Father, husband, pet owner, artist & puppet enthusiast... not always in that order.
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Rap Bastardz
@rapbastardz.bsky.social
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Don’t get too close in case it spontaneously burst into flames.
1 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Rap Bastardz
@rapbastardz.bsky.social
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I hate that I have to spend about 10 minutes on the Google machine to understand today’s headlines. That said, yesterday I was not shocked to learn that someone who named himself “Dr. Disrespect” was in fact a creep-o.
0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
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Rap Bastardz
@rapbastardz.bsky.social
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The Keebler elf is stepping into dangerous territory. I picture a pack of Girl Scouts beating the piss out of that pointy-eared bitch.
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Rap Bastardz
@rapbastardz.bsky.social
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It’s a metaphor.
1 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Rap Bastardz
@rapbastardz.bsky.social
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Great photo opportunity on my morning walk today.
4 replies 1 reposts 22 likes
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Rap Bastardz
@rapbastardz.bsky.social
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Remember asphalt can burn your dog. Also, make sure you teach your dog how to read.
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Rap Bastardz
@rapbastardz.bsky.social
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Enjoy the journey. I’m excited for you.
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Rap Bastardz
@rapbastardz.bsky.social
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And that was the last time we ever saw him…
0 replies 0 reposts 2 likes
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Rap Bastardz
@rapbastardz.bsky.social
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Yee-Hawing
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Rap Bastardz
@rapbastardz.bsky.social
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I guess we will have to find someplace else to sleep tonight.
0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
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Rap Bastardz
@rapbastardz.bsky.social
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Maybe he’s just a really shitty driver?
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Rap Bastardz
@rapbastardz.bsky.social
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Angry, old, impatient road-raging Russian is always the most exciting flavor of Uber driver.
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Rap Bastardz
@rapbastardz.bsky.social
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Of course the one asshole on the red eye with their light on was reading ayn rand “atlas shrugged.”
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Rap Bastardz
@rapbastardz.bsky.social
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What are the chances that is a bag of piss? (discarded Ziploc on Olive Avenue in Burbank, California.)
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Rap Bastardz
@rapbastardz.bsky.social
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When all of the dings, rings and bings from text, Slack, email and phone finally stop, I am able to get caught up. And God help me at 3 AM or so when I always wake up to pee, cause that’s when the overseas emails are lying in wait.
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Rap Bastardz
@rapbastardz.bsky.social
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Yeah, he got called out on those so hard he had to switch up his high heel game.
0 replies 0 reposts 2 likes
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Rap Bastardz
@rapbastardz.bsky.social
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Those shoe-boots are giving him at least 2”.
1 replies 0 reposts 5 likes
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Rap Bastardz
@rapbastardz.bsky.social
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Because all judges have been warned by the orange sociopath:
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Rap Bastardz
@rapbastardz.bsky.social
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Why was the “Heat” thread deleted from Twitter?? 😭
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Rap Bastardz
@rapbastardz.bsky.social
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Good to see Mr. Bateman getting into character for a new Geico role.
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Rap Bastardz
@rapbastardz.bsky.social
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Pardon for checking in, but did you ever get a chance to watch?
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Rap Bastardz
@rapbastardz.bsky.social
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Why do I get the feeling “her rights to her body” don’t include full body autonomy if she gets pregnant?
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Rap Bastardz
@rapbastardz.bsky.social
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Haha. May we both look so good 27 years from now! 🙏🏼 I look forward to your thoughts on the show.
1 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Rap Bastardz
@rapbastardz.bsky.social
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Did you see Barbara Boyle’s interview re: her work as an executive at Orion and working with Paul in the Netflix series, “The Movies That Made Us?” She’s pretty amazing.
1 replies 0 reposts 3 likes
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Rap Bastardz
@rapbastardz.bsky.social
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Endless Weekend smells like???? I’ll go first: Cocaine, gin and vomit.
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Rap Bastardz
@rapbastardz.bsky.social
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New right wing conspiracy: Alina Habba is really Taylor Swift disguised as a lawyer and was planted by the deep state to take Trump down by flubbing his court thingy badly. 
1 replies 1 reposts 1 likes
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Rap Bastardz
@rapbastardz.bsky.social
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I should add “our lips are sealed” by the Go-Go’s was playing at the time.
It just… everything felt so right.🥲
youtu.be/r3kQlzOi27M?...
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Rap Bastardz
@rapbastardz.bsky.social
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Niiiiice
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Rap Bastardz
@rapbastardz.bsky.social
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I had a twist on my usual “teeth crumbling out of my mouth” nightmare the other night, this time incorporating my night guard. In the dream, I removed the guard and all of my teeth ripped out of my mouth, still stuck in place in the guard. 😭
1 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Rap Bastardz
@rapbastardz.bsky.social
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Tossing my daughter’s LOL dolls isn’t like my mom tossing my Star Wars figures, is it?
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Rap Bastardz
@rapbastardz.bsky.social
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Plus, it’s not like they succeeded in taking over the country and destroying democracy. Yep, the system works. 
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Rap Bastardz
@rapbastardz.bsky.social
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“Frog desperately wants to be accepted by the Scorpion party.”
0 replies 0 reposts 6 likes
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Rap Bastardz
@rapbastardz.bsky.social
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This is no longer a cat. WTF is this?
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Rap Bastardz
@rapbastardz.bsky.social
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I don’t think Hunter Biden’s penis stands a chance at winning the 2024 presidential election after today.
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Rap Bastardz
@rapbastardz.bsky.social
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If you are in Los Angeles County, I am making an amazing vegetarian Bolognese.  Maybe you won’t turn into a murderous freak if you just sit down with us for a nice meal. 
1 replies 0 reposts 2 likes
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Rap Bastardz
@rapbastardz.bsky.social
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I am an extremely honest thinker who isn’t beholden to anyone and has a lot of hands-on life experience at a quirky wide array of activities.
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Rap Bastardz
@rapbastardz.bsky.social
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Dude is SO trumpy in real life.
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Rap Bastardz
@rapbastardz.bsky.social
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Couldn’t remember the name and my wife certainly had no idea what I was talking about, so here we are., Googling “actor, who smokes tons of pot, and makes ceramics.”
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Rap Bastardz
@rapbastardz.bsky.social
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Was his name Kevin by chance?
0 replies 0 reposts 5 likes
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Rap Bastardz
@rapbastardz.bsky.social
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Left a tiny town in central Ohio for Los Angeles and never looked back. Mentioning in passing “my dog walker” elicited a ton of jeers. Liking sushi apparently means I’m gay and communist.
0 replies 0 reposts 5 likes
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Rap Bastardz
@rapbastardz.bsky.social
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🎶Santa joggers, hurry down the chimney tonight🎶
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Rap Bastardz
@rapbastardz.bsky.social
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Finally, an organized religion I can get behind.
1 replies 0 reposts 6 likes
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Rap Bastardz
@rapbastardz.bsky.social
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Looks like some sort of amphibian mid-shit.
1 replies 1 reposts 1 likes
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Rap Bastardz
@rapbastardz.bsky.social
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You’re not gonna deep fry that first?! Brutal.
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Rap Bastardz
@rapbastardz.bsky.social
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And if I’m not mistaken, no longer owned by Nazis, correct? 
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Rap Bastardz
@rapbastardz.bsky.social
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Is that Matthew McConaughey in his first modeling gig? 
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Rap Bastardz
@rapbastardz.bsky.social
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Sorry, I’m too lazy to add the Brazzers logo.
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Rap Bastardz
@rapbastardz.bsky.social
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From Adam’s manager to the brain trust in the perfume boardroom: who the fuck thought this was a good idea?
1 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
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Rap Bastardz
@rapbastardz.bsky.social
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Clyde just discovered the mirror and stop looking at himself.
0 replies 1 reposts 2 likes
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Rap Bastardz
@rapbastardz.bsky.social
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Q: What number are you gonna put on that sweet Civic, bruh? A: Dude, is that even a question?!!
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes