Mr Roger Quimbly

Mr Roger Quimbly @rogerquimbly.bsky.social [ View ] Jul 07, 2024 at 19:47 UTC

If the Daily Mail doesn't like this country it should fuck off back to where it came from.

14 replies 30 reposts 104 likes

Mr Roger Quimbly @rogerquimbly.bsky.social [ View ] Jul 05, 2024 at 20:49 UTC

The first thing you see when they open the car boot.

4 replies 18 reposts 45 likes

Mr Roger Quimbly @rogerquimbly.bsky.social [ View ] Jul 05, 2024 at 13:41 UTC

Apparently it’s intermittent fasting, not intermittent farting. Apologies to everyone in this sandwich shop.

0 replies 4 reposts 18 likes

Mr Roger Quimbly @rogerquimbly.bsky.social [ View ] Jul 04, 2024 at 21:15 UTC

Pretty pleased with my first election as campaign adviser to the Conservative Party.

1 replies 6 reposts 26 likes

Mr Roger Quimbly @rogerquimbly.bsky.social [ View ] Jul 03, 2024 at 06:47 UTC

Keir Starmer’s secret weapon.

5 replies 4 reposts 28 likes

Mr Roger Quimbly @rogerquimbly.bsky.social [ View ] Jun 29, 2024 at 19:33 UTC

Thank fuck.

0 replies 7 reposts 33 likes

Mr Roger Quimbly @rogerquimbly.bsky.social [ View ] Jun 29, 2024 at 16:52 UTC

It’s pure filth.

0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes

Mr Roger Quimbly @rogerquimbly.bsky.social [ View ] Jun 29, 2024 at 16:47 UTC

I know, I know…

2 replies 0 reposts 1 likes

Mr Roger Quimbly @rogerquimbly.bsky.social [ View ] Jun 29, 2024 at 16:45 UTC

Never mind Nigel Farage demanding an apology from the BBC, I think we should all demand an apology for THIS

5 replies 2 reposts 27 likes

Mr Roger Quimbly @rogerquimbly.bsky.social [ View ] Jun 25, 2024 at 17:13 UTC

Scientists isolate Tory gene.

5 replies 12 reposts 39 likes

Mr Roger Quimbly @rogerquimbly.bsky.social [ View ] Jun 23, 2024 at 16:21 UTC

I’m beginning to regret calling this Uber.

0 replies 0 reposts 15 likes

Mr Roger Quimbly @rogerquimbly.bsky.social [ View ] Jun 21, 2024 at 19:37 UTC

“Allow me to introduce myself. I’m the arsonist who burnt your house down. I’d now like to sell you some petrol and a box of matches. And some magic beans.”

3 replies 16 reposts 56 likes

Mr Roger Quimbly @rogerquimbly.bsky.social [ View ] Jun 19, 2024 at 20:23 UTC

“Are we the Reform candidates?”

0 replies 16 reposts 54 likes

Mr Roger Quimbly @rogerquimbly.bsky.social [ View ] Jun 19, 2024 at 16:14 UTC

I think Just Stop Oil did this too

4 replies 12 reposts 47 likes

Mr Roger Quimbly @rogerquimbly.bsky.social [ View ] Jun 16, 2024 at 18:39 UTC

The Scream (Edvard Munch 1893)

0 replies 1 reposts 16 likes

Mr Roger Quimbly @rogerquimbly.bsky.social [ View ] Jun 14, 2024 at 11:54 UTC

Impress people with your savoir faire and sophistication by saying “I’ve soiled myself” rather than “I’ve shit myself.”

0 replies 4 reposts 14 likes

Mr Roger Quimbly @rogerquimbly.bsky.social [ View ] Jun 09, 2024 at 06:43 UTC

Stop the votes

2 replies 25 reposts 85 likes

Mr Roger Quimbly @rogerquimbly.bsky.social [ View ] Jun 07, 2024 at 16:38 UTC

Pretty pleased to announce that I am taking over as Rishi Sunak’s PR adviser.

6 replies 5 reposts 39 likes

Mr Roger Quimbly @rogerquimbly.bsky.social [ View ] Jun 03, 2024 at 17:52 UTC

Unflushable.

0 replies 7 reposts 35 likes

Mr Roger Quimbly @rogerquimbly.bsky.social [ View ] May 30, 2024 at 21:45 UTC

First a rigged election, now a rigged trial. Donald Trump is SO unlucky.

0 replies 9 reposts 34 likes

Mr Roger Quimbly @rogerquimbly.bsky.social [ View ] May 30, 2024 at 21:28 UTC

This is surely the final nail in Donald Trump’s coffin. A coffin made entirely of nails.

0 replies 10 reposts 32 likes

Mr Roger Quimbly @rogerquimbly.bsky.social [ View ] May 27, 2024 at 13:19 UTC

Me, doing my National Service.

1 replies 3 reposts 26 likes

Mr Roger Quimbly @rogerquimbly.bsky.social [ View ] May 26, 2024 at 20:40 UTC

A James Cleverly implies the existence of a James Stupidly. Oh wait, they’re the same person.

0 replies 4 reposts 28 likes

Mr Roger Quimbly @rogerquimbly.bsky.social [ View ] May 22, 2024 at 17:40 UTC

“Don’t you think he looks wet?”

1 replies 50 reposts 164 likes

Mr Roger Quimbly @rogerquimbly.bsky.social [ View ] May 22, 2024 at 16:27 UTC

“Labour doesn’t have a plan” says man who hadn’t checked the weather forecast.

13 replies 149 reposts 618 likes

Mr Roger Quimbly @rogerquimbly.bsky.social [ View ] May 17, 2024 at 12:08 UTC

Please stop spreading this portrait of my beloved wife, Regina Quimbly. She doesn’t like it.

0 replies 0 reposts 13 likes

Mr Roger Quimbly @rogerquimbly.bsky.social [ View ] May 14, 2024 at 18:22 UTC

Social media is great if you enjoy seeing the opinions of people who like wanging on about how much they don’t like the new episodes of Doctor Who. Fascinating.

1 replies 2 reposts 20 likes

Mr Roger Quimbly @rogerquimbly.bsky.social [ View ] May 11, 2024 at 11:46 UTC

Apparently he swallowed a wingback chair.

2 replies 6 reposts 20 likes

Mr Roger Quimbly @rogerquimbly.bsky.social [ View ] May 05, 2024 at 08:24 UTC

Time to call an exorcist.

2 replies 4 reposts 32 likes

Mr Roger Quimbly @rogerquimbly.bsky.social [ View ] Apr 22, 2024 at 16:48 UTC

Wolverine is looking like shit these days.

1 replies 3 reposts 12 likes

Mr Roger Quimbly @rogerquimbly.bsky.social [ View ] Apr 17, 2024 at 20:35 UTC

Saw someone on social media say they hated something that I like and now it’s made me reconsider my entire worldview.

0 replies 4 reposts 18 likes

Mr Roger Quimbly @rogerquimbly.bsky.social [ View ] Mar 29, 2024 at 08:59 UTC

If that was an alien chestburster egg in his hand it would finally explain everything.

4 replies 3 reposts 8 likes

Mr Roger Quimbly @rogerquimbly.bsky.social [ View ] Mar 25, 2024 at 13:15 UTC

The confession is that he married the dog.

1 replies 1 reposts 8 likes

Mr Roger Quimbly @rogerquimbly.bsky.social [ View ] Mar 23, 2024 at 19:41 UTC

Sighs matter.

1 replies 0 reposts 0 likes

Mr Roger Quimbly @rogerquimbly.bsky.social [ View ] Mar 23, 2024 at 19:16 UTC

Oh, you will, I assure you.

1 replies 0 reposts 0 likes

Mr Roger Quimbly @rogerquimbly.bsky.social [ View ] Mar 23, 2024 at 16:46 UTC

You’ll get it in the end.

1 replies 0 reposts 0 likes

Mr Roger Quimbly @rogerquimbly.bsky.social [ View ] Mar 22, 2024 at 21:11 UTC

With pleasure.

1 replies 0 reposts 0 likes

Mr Roger Quimbly @rogerquimbly.bsky.social [ View ] Mar 22, 2024 at 20:59 UTC

That represents a contract.

1 replies 0 reposts 1 likes

Mr Roger Quimbly @rogerquimbly.bsky.social [ View ] Mar 22, 2024 at 20:49 UTC

I could murder one. (Merde-r. Very clever French pun. You’re welcome)

1 replies 0 reposts 1 likes

Mr Roger Quimbly @rogerquimbly.bsky.social [ View ] Mar 22, 2024 at 13:09 UTC

Pretty pleased with my design for the new England football kit.

0 replies 1 reposts 17 likes

Mr Roger Quimbly @rogerquimbly.bsky.social [ View ] Mar 19, 2024 at 17:26 UTC

The new James Bond finally revealed.

4 replies 6 reposts 31 likes

Mr Roger Quimbly @rogerquimbly.bsky.social [ View ] Mar 17, 2024 at 16:03 UTC

Rhyming slang: Nigel Farage

2 replies 3 reposts 29 likes

Mr Roger Quimbly @rogerquimbly.bsky.social [ View ] Mar 10, 2024 at 22:40 UTC

Pretty pleased with my first day as the royal photographer.

0 replies 7 reposts 45 likes

Mr Roger Quimbly @rogerquimbly.bsky.social [ View ] Mar 10, 2024 at 10:21 UTC

Nobody mentions the elephant in the room, but what I want to know is how the fuck did an enormous elephant get into the room in the first place? Did they take the roof off and use a crane? Magic? Teleportation? The mainstream media are suspiciously quiet. Makes you think.

0 replies 5 reposts 10 likes

Mr Roger Quimbly @rogerquimbly.bsky.social [ View ] Feb 28, 2024 at 16:44 UTC

Pretty pleased with my first day as organiser and scriptwriter for the Glasgow Willy Wonka Experience.

1 replies 3 reposts 21 likes

Mr Roger Quimbly @rogerquimbly.bsky.social [ View ] Feb 27, 2024 at 19:35 UTC

My tailor enjoys a challenge.

0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes

Mr Roger Quimbly @rogerquimbly.bsky.social [ View ] Feb 27, 2024 at 18:32 UTC

Getting some interesting emails these days

3 replies 1 reposts 5 likes

Mr Roger Quimbly @rogerquimbly.bsky.social [ View ] Feb 27, 2024 at 14:29 UTC

People who say they know where the bodies are buried clearly don’t know that we’ve all heard of cemeteries. Idiots.

0 replies 6 reposts 19 likes

Mr Roger Quimbly @rogerquimbly.bsky.social [ View ] Feb 20, 2024 at 19:11 UTC

Just tried to polish a turd. I'm now covered in turd.

2 replies 4 reposts 13 likes

Mr Roger Quimbly @rogerquimbly.bsky.social [ View ] Feb 20, 2024 at 18:25 UTC

“I’ve got a few of these in my cabinet”

1 replies 6 reposts 20 likes