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Pretzelcoatl@slinkingflorist.bsky.social |
330 followers 417 following 5484 posts
I grow flowers and pet cats and play DND and whine a little
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Pretzelcoatl
@slinkingflorist.bsky.social
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I don't want to be the guy on discord arguing that basing monumental decisions on how good a guy can look on camera is fucked but here I am, like a fool. Defending a guy I despise on the narrow grounds that his ability to dance for us is irrelevant to his role
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Pretzelcoatl
@slinkingflorist.bsky.social
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I tried this and didn't work at all but still worth it
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Pretzelcoatl
@slinkingflorist.bsky.social
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God damn fireworks motherfuckers. If my dog poops in the house I'm smearing it on their doorknobs. They've been going since 5
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Pretzelcoatl
@slinkingflorist.bsky.social
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I spent 40 minutes at my sister's place yesterday and her cat sat like this but on the dining room table and my foot the entire time
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Pretzelcoatl
@slinkingflorist.bsky.social
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Having a dog has made me acutely aware of how much people litter. Knock it the fuck off if that's you. Your wrappers and old food belong in trash cans
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Pretzelcoatl
@slinkingflorist.bsky.social
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5 or 6 years till they're ready for regular harvests as I understand it but that's soonish! I gotta get the sprouts set up in a growing location. Gonna overwinter indoors and then move half outside in the spring, see if they make it through the winter. Plant the other half if they do
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Pretzelcoatl
@slinkingflorist.bsky.social
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Nothing like getting a lecture on "what's bad for people with GI disease" from someone who bases it on a vague sense of what feels healthy and then blames the food industry selling health food for making the doctors recommend high calorie, low residue foods in an exact inversion of reality
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Pretzelcoatl
@slinkingflorist.bsky.social
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Whelp, apparently my family didn't actually internalize anything I've ever said about calorie density or prioritizing weight gain and worse, they've decided that the most useful foods are actually harmful. They're mad because the doctors are recommending fruit in syrup for weight gain over raw fruit
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Pretzelcoatl
@slinkingflorist.bsky.social
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Operation frozen carrot is an unqualified success! He got so excited he tossed it around for a bit before settling into nibble it down to nothing. My only worry is he's ingesting much more of the carrot this time but he's nibbling it to shreds first so should be ok.
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Pretzelcoatl
@slinkingflorist.bsky.social
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Two Camelia Sinensis seeds germinated! 🌱
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Pretzelcoatl
@slinkingflorist.bsky.social
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All dogs come into the world at least 2 years old apparently
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Pretzelcoatl
@slinkingflorist.bsky.social
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Calmed back down again. This is also the first time he's been ok with prolonged petting. Usually steps away after a few pats. Letting me soothe him and seeking me out for comfort during a brand new terror after such a short time together makes me feel very good
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Pretzelcoatl
@slinkingflorist.bsky.social
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Argh he was doing so well with the fireworks and then he wanted to pee so I decided to risk it at which point some jackass set one that went off directly over my house, scaring the shit out him. The whole pasture is filled with smoke. At least it's wet so these assholes can't light the field
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Pretzelcoatl
@slinkingflorist.bsky.social
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I finally got the training manual the old family used for Peritas and A) it's very sweet and focused entirely on rewarding positives which is a relief B) knowing "look at me" is gonna make strengthening his skills in distraction packed environments easier
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Pretzelcoatl
@slinkingflorist.bsky.social
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Peritas saw the neighbor cat, bolted for him. I said "Peritas, sit!" and he stopped dead and sat. So proud of him :')
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Pretzelcoatl
@slinkingflorist.bsky.social
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Why, after 15 years of knowing I have crohn's, is it still so easy to pressure me into eating >.<
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Pretzelcoatl
@slinkingflorist.bsky.social
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I'm sure the raw intellect of a person who can't tell when they're speaking figuratively would overpower my tiny mind
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Pretzelcoatl
@slinkingflorist.bsky.social
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You took a lot of words to say "stop it" without being able to define what "it" is in that case
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Pretzelcoatl
@slinkingflorist.bsky.social
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What about the real world ones his conversation is obvious about?
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Pretzelcoatl
@slinkingflorist.bsky.social
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You meant "stop helping fascists in star wars?"
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Pretzelcoatl
@slinkingflorist.bsky.social
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On top of that, we've seen what happens when the president fully fucks off in recent memory! His agenda still gets done because the president doesn't spend 20 hour days keeping the country running.
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Pretzelcoatl
@slinkingflorist.bsky.social
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The "most important job in the world" bit rings real hollow after the presidents we've had just in my lifetime. On top of the nationalism inherent in claiming your country's leader to be the most important man, it's a view of the presidency that buys fully in to the vision of a supreme executive.
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Pretzelcoatl
@slinkingflorist.bsky.social
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This writer was paid in woims
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Pretzelcoatl
@slinkingflorist.bsky.social
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Usually when people mean that they have a plan beyond "just stop participating." You forgot to bring up the second part which makes the first seem like it's the whole sentiment but here's an invitation to finish the thought
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Pretzelcoatl
@slinkingflorist.bsky.social
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I need to figure out how to make stuffing that doesn't destroy my gut cause all I want in the world is the stuffing that should have gone in and between these 😔
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Pretzelcoatl
@slinkingflorist.bsky.social
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Well I wasn't brave enough to challenge the broody hen for eggs but I did cook my porkchops before they went bad so I'll call that a win
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Pretzelcoatl
@slinkingflorist.bsky.social
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I think the statement functions more as a shibboleth than a true statement of belief for most people which doesn't make it less dangerous but I think is part of how and why the absurdity can spread
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Pretzelcoatl
@slinkingflorist.bsky.social
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I have some early memories of adults pointing out churches and daycares as the ones where they worship the devil in this casual, gossipy tone. The mismatch between the accusation and the tone in which it was discussed has always stuck with me and remains in qanon adherents a lot of the time.
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Pretzelcoatl
@slinkingflorist.bsky.social
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Living down the road from Gettysburg has taught me to immediately distrust anyone enthusiastic about Gettysburg. The whole battlefield is an attempt at forgetting the why by overwhelming visitors with the how. It attracts people who want permission to forget.
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Pretzelcoatl
@slinkingflorist.bsky.social
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I've been trying to motivate myself to cook and eat all day and potato salad sounds delicious. Let's see if I'm brave enough to challenge the broody hen
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Pretzelcoatl
@slinkingflorist.bsky.social
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Does it make me a bad person that I'm glad Peritas isn't very cuddly? Like, he'll tolerate pets but he wants to be nearby and unbothered most of the time which is ideal for me. CC uses up most of my physical affection budget demanding her snuggle sessions and touch starts to get overwhelming
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Pretzelcoatl
@slinkingflorist.bsky.social
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If he can't see that what he says happened is an admission of wrongdoing, I have no reason to doubt anyone who says that he did worse.
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Pretzelcoatl
@slinkingflorist.bsky.social
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The guys who come to the cuk de sac to do burnouts also throw their beer bottles on the asphalt which seems like it would solve itself but I guess it's hard to pop a car tire. Would love to see on of those fuckers blow out and end up in the drainage ditch though.
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Pretzelcoatl
@slinkingflorist.bsky.social
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I think the abuse of power probably has more to do with power than gender but at this point I'm still willing to say let's try expelling men from any authority or prestige for a while just to double check.
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Pretzelcoatl
@slinkingflorist.bsky.social
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The upside to living next to a construction zone, a munitions disposal site, and a truck route is that Peritas only barked one time at the fireworks and then only cause he saw the flash. He's just too used to loud bangs and booms. If only he could get used to jake brakes and fart cannon hatchbacks
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Pretzelcoatl
@slinkingflorist.bsky.social
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I had to go through this a few years ago with my Tiny Cat. I'm sorry you're having to as well. I don't know if this part is as hard for you to keep ahold of as it was me but there will come a day when you can remember Smokey with joy instead of sadness. The pain of this moment cannot take that away
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Pretzelcoatl
@slinkingflorist.bsky.social
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I mean, I supposed he saved me the effort of shutting down that part of my brain that doesn't want to believe people whose art I like do bad things. It's really easy when they just came out and say "yeah I did that and I don't understand why it's wrong?"
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Pretzelcoatl
@slinkingflorist.bsky.social
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Some asshole's driving around in some sort of luxury SUV but is modified to belch smoke and sound like the worst kind of asshole's motorcycle.
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Pretzelcoatl
@slinkingflorist.bsky.social
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I got so lucky with this boy and it's still just so much. I think it'll be good for me in the long run but it is running me ragged right now and he's *so* well behaved for his age and energy level.
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Pretzelcoatl
@slinkingflorist.bsky.social
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So far the routine I've settled into with Peritas is walk - play - obedience training session - few hours of chilling - repeat. We get about 4 of those cycles in a day. It's going great but I'm so fucking tired
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Pretzelcoatl
@slinkingflorist.bsky.social
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It must be really hard to force feed a lobster. I don't imagine a funnel would work as well without a neck.
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Pretzelcoatl
@slinkingflorist.bsky.social
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Peritas? More like carrotas.
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Pretzelcoatl
@slinkingflorist.bsky.social
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The only thing I don't like about having a dog is having to use authority voice. I wanna lilt requests gently, not issue commands. It's not even a volume thing, it's just that tone you use when you're telling, not asking, someone to do something. I don't speak to people that way so it's hard.
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Pretzelcoatl
@slinkingflorist.bsky.social
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Like let him bark twice, the give the quiet command and before I can reward she chimes in "You have to train THEM, they can't train YOU." Which draws his attention, breaking the reward mark/reward association and makes the training less effective. Thanks!
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Pretzelcoatl
@slinkingflorist.bsky.social
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Cashier at the dollar store wanted to come see the pup which is cool cause I'm trying to get him used to being good around new people instead of getting defensive but every time I tried to instruct him she would chime in with her advice, distracting him from the instruction >.<
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Pretzelcoatl
@slinkingflorist.bsky.social
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I am begging people to reconcile the thoughts "wow nearly half my countrymen support fascism" and "all us normal people are gonna gun shoot them and then the government will be fixed!"
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Pretzelcoatl
@slinkingflorist.bsky.social
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The indignity of being advertised to on the internet is bad enough but when the autoplaying video overlay blocking all of the content on screen says "closing.." and pretends like that takes time and it's not just running out the clock till they get paid for the view really gets under my skin
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Pretzelcoatl
@slinkingflorist.bsky.social
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Google has decided the only word that starts with "ex" is Express with the capitol E, indicating it's a proper noun??
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Pretzelcoatl
@slinkingflorist.bsky.social
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Statice is a great flower! Dries really well, too. If you cut it with a goodly amount of stem and hang it for a week or two it'll last a very long time looking nice (and the plant will happily send another flush of flowers up to replace them)!
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Pretzelcoatl
@slinkingflorist.bsky.social
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The only one I've had the pleasure of visiting was Indian River Lagoon state park. Lovely brackish swamp environment with the decaying remains of the agricultural equipment that had once ravaged the area still poking out from the muck which has retaken its rightful place
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