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Ryan Smith

@thesmithminute.bsky.social

70 followers 122 following 1408 posts

Semi-retired radio personality. Avid DIYer. Essential retail worker navigating the craziness. Purveyor of obscure references and deep cuts. What TV Tropes would call a Deadpan Snarker.


Ryan Smith's avatar Ryan Smith @thesmithminute.bsky.social
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"I was thinking something off the Time album." "...just realized there's somewhere I need to be. See you later."

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“One day I’ll ask him how he gets it back into the ring. Or how the boots fit in there at all.”

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Ryan Smith's avatar Ryan Smith @thesmithminute.bsky.social
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The Masks was on last night. My personal favorite.

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“Because that’s where I left my pants.” “In a baked bean processing plant?!” “Don’t judge me.”

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"You know what? That's a lot of lutefisk. I'll let Ben handle it. I don't even know how you can tell when that stuff goes bad, anyway..."

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Ryan Smith's avatar Ryan Smith @thesmithminute.bsky.social
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"Then I'll just tell her how you won that medal." "It's not my fault the other bidder dropped out!" "And it's a medal for a haggis-eating competition. Just pointing that out."

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Ryan Smith's avatar Ryan Smith @thesmithminute.bsky.social
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“Admission fee go up again. Hulk write angry letter to management.”

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“Your nephew is a perfectly good man, Corrado Soprano Junior!”

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"Dear Reader, The knots we used were actually thought up by Steve Dore, a guy on my bowling team. Thanks for letting us clear up the confusion."

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Ryan Smith's avatar Ryan Smith @thesmithminute.bsky.social
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"You've never said that about the wallpapered ceilings or the shiplap around the toilet." "You're right. I haven't."

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“Stark spotted me the ‘H,’ but I’m still stuck.”

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It’s been done.

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"How did you manage to clog up half of Two-Face's toilet?" "I'm Batman." "That answers nothing."

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Ryan Smith's avatar Ryan Smith @thesmithminute.bsky.social
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And how does Tweeter fit into all this?
#TravelingWilburys

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Ryan Smith's avatar Ryan Smith @thesmithminute.bsky.social
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"Now wait a minute..." "And your dog prefers the family next door, who give it better treats?" "Hold on..." "Not to mention the laughs your Cybertruck gets..." "Are there any non-asshole noncorporeal voices out there?" "Now YOU wait a minute..."

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Ryan Smith's avatar Ryan Smith @thesmithminute.bsky.social
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“Can’t Giganta just… oof… shrink down the next time she wants… uggh… a haircut?!”

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"This impresses me, Patrick Warburton. It really does."

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McDonald's certainly gave away enough free ones that year...

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Ryan Smith's avatar Ryan Smith @thesmithminute.bsky.social
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"I already have an At Thee. Picked up a Verily on sale last week, too." "Thou art not funny."

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Ryan Smith's avatar Ryan Smith @thesmithminute.bsky.social
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At least one person has used the Thunder Cab to make a custom '40s Batmobile.

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Ryan Smith's avatar Ryan Smith @thesmithminute.bsky.social
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The one thing to remember in our current jumble of world events is simple:

Happiness will prevail.

(Please remember to read the alt text.)

#DoctorWho

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Ryan Smith's avatar Ryan Smith @thesmithminute.bsky.social
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"Repeat after me. I, state your name..." "I, state your name..." "Knock it off!" "Nice trash bag you're wearing, by the way." "It's a muumuu!"

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"Kyle! It's Radu! Came to see how new waterbed... ah."

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To this day I remain angry that neither DC Direct nor DC Universe Classics gave us a complete roster of Justice Society figures.

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“That’s not what we intended with the Pepsi Challenge, but, honestly, nice throw.”

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“By the way, if anyone here calls me Don or Mr. Draper, just ignore it.”

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“It had Clark Kent’s suit in it. Does this look good on me?”

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Ryan Smith's avatar Ryan Smith @thesmithminute.bsky.social
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“From doing push-ups! Over that mousetrap I didn’t notice!”

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Ryan Smith's avatar Ryan Smith @thesmithminute.bsky.social
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"Anchovies on pizza, I'm guessing?" "...yes."

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“After today’s antiquing.” “Dammit.”

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“I’m shocked you would say that.” “Well, Ultra-Humanite, it’s true.”

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"And this happened just with those?" "Yep. Just the red M&Ms." "I'll tell Steve."

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Ryan Smith's avatar Ryan Smith @thesmithminute.bsky.social
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Stanley Spadowski’s show still going strong after all these years.

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“No. It says ‘Reply hazy. Ask again later.’”

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More aerodynamic than the vehicle of the same, yet spelled slightly different, name!

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“The Northern Lights always flare up when I’m making steamed hams, but that’s a mystery for another day.”

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Ryan Smith's avatar Ryan Smith @thesmithminute.bsky.social
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The fish, however, remain loyal to Troy McClure.

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"Hello, sir! I will be your therapist today! Why are you swimming away?"

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The fact that his axis and atlas vertebrae could speak and express their own opinions frightened her. But she said nothing.

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Ryan Smith's avatar Ryan Smith @thesmithminute.bsky.social
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“You were supposed to go to the Tivoli Bar in East Ham Bull!”

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Ryan Smith's avatar Ryan Smith @thesmithminute.bsky.social
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Some would say this was when the rivalry with Gary’s Olde Towne Tavern got out of control.

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Ryan Smith's avatar Ryan Smith @thesmithminute.bsky.social
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Extra points for the term “dubiously beef.”

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Ryan Smith's avatar Ryan Smith @thesmithminute.bsky.social
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“Not only am I the president of Hair Club for Men, Sinestro, but I’m also a client.”

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“Jam does go on top of the cream on scones.”

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Ryan Smith's avatar Ryan Smith @thesmithminute.bsky.social
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After this, Sally Jupiter had second thoughts about where her movie career would end up.

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“He was a toy collector trying to buy the other five Constructicons, Fred.” “…ah.”

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“‘New Petition Against Tax?’ But that’s on every front page!” “I was talking about the Sea-Monkeys ad on page A5.”

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The most notable thing for me in this ad was Robin having a special mummy ray gun that is completely ineffective, and Batman being completely unsurprised at said lack of effectiveness. Did Robin build that gun and Batman just didn't have the heart to tell him it wouldn't work?

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Ryan Smith's avatar Ryan Smith @thesmithminute.bsky.social
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“The one with the curly hair and the scarf? Yeah, I could see him unnerving people by leaving that clown mask.”

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