|
The Bland Wazoo
@zombieboof.bsky.social
[ View ] |
*pointing up* "That's bate."
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
|
|
The Bland Wazoo@zombieboof.bsky.social |
55 followers 134 following 555 posts
He/Him
|
|
The Bland Wazoo
@zombieboof.bsky.social
[ View ] |
*pointing up* "That's bate."
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
|
|
The Bland Wazoo
@zombieboof.bsky.social
[ View ] |
"I want a 1969 Dodge Charger." "We have a 1969 Dodge Charger at home." The 1969 Dodge Charger at home:
0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
|
|
The Bland Wazoo
@zombieboof.bsky.social
[ View ] |
"HELLO, FELLOW HUMAN. I AM HUMAN TOO. WHAT ARE YOU AND YOUR FRIENDS INTO, SEXUALLY SPEAKING? I AM A NORMAL PERSON ASKING NORMAL PERSON QUESTIONS. WHY ARE YOU AFRAID TO ANSWER?"
1 replies 1 reposts 27 likes
|
|
The Bland Wazoo
@zombieboof.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Don't forget his smash hits 'The Benign Twist', 'Twisterectomy', and 'Twist Fucking God's Planet'.
0 replies 1 reposts 8 likes
|
|
The Bland Wazoo
@zombieboof.bsky.social
[ View ] |
This just looks like one guy's slow transition from Nick Fuentes to school shooter.
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
|
|
The Bland Wazoo
@zombieboof.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Community Notes: This is obviously a lie as it has been well documented that the only drugs Biden does are a 2 to 1 ratio of 'ludes and coke.
0 replies 0 reposts 4 likes
|
|
The Bland Wazoo
@zombieboof.bsky.social
[ View ] |
But you'll spoil your ice cream for dinner.
1 replies 0 reposts 2 likes
|
|
The Bland Wazoo
@zombieboof.bsky.social
[ View ] |
It's a good twist because it completely recontextualizes the narrative.
0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
|
|
The Bland Wazoo
@zombieboof.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Still better than putting a DVD in a jar.
0 replies 0 reposts 2 likes
|
|
The Bland Wazoo
@zombieboof.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Pussy Flavored Seltzer Water! Pussy Flavored Seltzer Water! Pussy Flavored Seltzer Water! Pussy with a twist cap (pussy power)!
0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
|
|
The Bland Wazoo
@zombieboof.bsky.social
[ View ] |
You'd think cops, with their PR being at an all time low, would at least TRY not to be fucking terrible.
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
|
|
The Bland Wazoo
@zombieboof.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Orson Welles: "I can't believe I've been reduced to doing tacky commercials." Sean Connery: "Hold my several beers."
1 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
|
|
The Bland Wazoo
@zombieboof.bsky.social
[ View ] |
This kinda makes me want go to a bar with a breathalyzer and an eyedropper.
0 replies 0 reposts 2 likes
|
|
The Bland Wazoo
@zombieboof.bsky.social
[ View ] |
In MY day, we scanned UPC's. They were fast, efficient, and you could argue over whether or not they were satanic.
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
|
|
The Bland Wazoo
@zombieboof.bsky.social
[ View ] |
0 replies 0 reposts 3 likes
|
|
The Bland Wazoo
@zombieboof.bsky.social
[ View ] |
*woman has a chin width > 1cm* "Is this woke?"
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
|
|
The Bland Wazoo
@zombieboof.bsky.social
[ View ] |
I've heard that they went back on that whole "we're no longer teaching cursive" thing, even though you really only use it for signatures.
0 replies 0 reposts 2 likes
|
|
The Bland Wazoo
@zombieboof.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Sup, mo' fuckas!
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
|
|
The Bland Wazoo
@zombieboof.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Don't mind me, just posting some comics from my Facebook feed that credit Gary Larson even though none of them are by Gary Larson.
0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
|
|
The Bland Wazoo
@zombieboof.bsky.social
[ View ] |
A girl I knew had a husband who got PTSD after his friend stepped on an IED in Iraq and died right in front of him. That last scene in First Blood REALLY got to me and I specifically avoided the sequels because I thought they might ruin the whole narrative. Apparently I was right.
0 replies 0 reposts 2 likes
|
|
The Bland Wazoo
@zombieboof.bsky.social
[ View ] |
I take a hour walk every day and I've seen at least one of those trucks every 2 or 3 days. The one I saw today had a black wrap job on it and it still looks like shit.
0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
|
|
The Bland Wazoo
@zombieboof.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Are we certain the red on the front is paint?
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
|
|
The Bland Wazoo
@zombieboof.bsky.social
[ View ] |
*opens up a 250gb hentai folder* "Now, obviously this isn't real, but the fact that someone imagined this happening says a lot about society!"
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
|
|
The Bland Wazoo
@zombieboof.bsky.social
[ View ] |
"Randy Rainbow, how do you write a parody?" "I think of Weird Al, then I remove all cleverness and imagination."
0 replies 1 reposts 6 likes
|
|
The Bland Wazoo
@zombieboof.bsky.social
[ View ] |
The Garfield Movie they're too cowardly to make.
0 replies 1 reposts 13 likes
|
|
The Bland Wazoo
@zombieboof.bsky.social
[ View ] |
I had a customer randomly complain to me about pronouns in the military. My guy, the first and last things out of your mouth when addressing a commanding officer are their goddamned pronouns!
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
|
|
The Bland Wazoo
@zombieboof.bsky.social
[ View ] |
I get a ton of AI generated hentai and, "Make over $1,000 a week in passive income! First, use MidJourney to design t-shirts; Then, use ChatGPT and [ai-film generator] to make a children's show and post it on YouTube!." Art for them is a path to easy money and the artist is a roadblock.
1 replies 0 reposts 6 likes
|
|
The Bland Wazoo
@zombieboof.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Francis is officially the Kid Rock of popes.
0 replies 0 reposts 3 likes
|
|
The Bland Wazoo
@zombieboof.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Me, walking in on a younger, more virile man giving it to my hot MILF wife: "Are ya' winning, son?"
1 replies 1 reposts 4 likes
|
|
The Bland Wazoo
@zombieboof.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Unfortunately, that only amounts to an extra 1.2 inches.
1 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
|
|
The Bland Wazoo
@zombieboof.bsky.social
[ View ] |
I like how bitchy it gets about the apostrophe.
2 replies 0 reposts 4 likes
|
|
The Bland Wazoo
@zombieboof.bsky.social
[ View ] |
"How do I make guacamole?" "You jus' bruy it froma' Mesican resa'raunt ya' turkey!"
0 replies 0 reposts 4 likes
|
|
The Bland Wazoo
@zombieboof.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Reminding me of the time I tried to show my friend 'Perfect Blue' and he specifically asked me to put on the English dub so he could answer texts on his phone or something.
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
|
|
The Bland Wazoo
@zombieboof.bsky.social
[ View ] |
They don't call 'em tech "bros" for nothin'.
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
|
|
The Bland Wazoo
@zombieboof.bsky.social
[ View ] |
I'd havd said 'Freddy vs Jason' because neither of them should be around teenagers and one of them is definitely a virgin.
0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
|
|
The Bland Wazoo
@zombieboof.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Did you hear about how Bluey's dad had two of his ribs removed?
1 replies 0 reposts 3 likes
|
|
The Bland Wazoo
@zombieboof.bsky.social
[ View ] |
You can tell a lot about a person by these categories: Eggs: Runny yolks. Steak: Rare, not picky about the cut. Milk: Doctor told me my cholesterol was 20mg too high so I switched to almond (vanilla unsweetened). Alcohol: Hard ciders Warm Drink: Decaf, too much cream and sugar. A rare treat.
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
|
|
The Bland Wazoo
@zombieboof.bsky.social
[ View ] |
I'm actually quite glad I'll never see the cringey bullshit I wrote in middle school again.
0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
|
|
The Bland Wazoo
@zombieboof.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Donald Glover voice: 🎶 This is America... 🎶
0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
|
|
The Bland Wazoo
@zombieboof.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Honestly, if you got a bunch of guys who've seen more time in the emergency room than most surgeons, we might actually get some government subsidized healthcare.
0 replies 0 reposts 4 likes
|
|
The Bland Wazoo
@zombieboof.bsky.social
[ View ] |
My coworker's joy went from 0 to 60 in 2 seconds when she got her ebike and no longer had to rely on her family to get to work and back (especially since she could charge it in the break room).
0 replies 1 reposts 6 likes
|
|
The Bland Wazoo
@zombieboof.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Goth Rogue, force-femmed Kurt, and goth pixie-cut Scarlett Witch had a MASSIVE impact on my taste in women.
0 replies 0 reposts 5 likes
|
|
The Bland Wazoo
@zombieboof.bsky.social
[ View ] |
🎶 never gonna' letcha' go I wanna hold you in my arms foreva' 🎶
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
|
|
The Bland Wazoo
@zombieboof.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Using this instead of milk if I ever get famous enough to do Hot Ones.
0 replies 0 reposts 2 likes
|
|
The Bland Wazoo
@zombieboof.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Mans' desire to control nature.
1 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
|
|
The Bland Wazoo
@zombieboof.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Pfft, most of that wealth was from his dead wife (probably).
0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
|
|
The Bland Wazoo
@zombieboof.bsky.social
[ View ] |
But if you don't play video games, then you can't get unreasonably angry at the Fallout show for allegedly getting that one detail wrong!
0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
|
|
The Bland Wazoo
@zombieboof.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Guy smelling my armpit: "what branch did you serve in." "Branch? None, I was never in military." "Interesting. Are you aware that stolen valor is a federal crime?"
0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
|
|
The Bland Wazoo
@zombieboof.bsky.social
[ View ] |
"Well, we'll just tell your mother that, uhh... that, uhh, we ate it all."
0 replies 0 reposts 3 likes
|
|
The Bland Wazoo
@zombieboof.bsky.social
[ View ] |
I absolutely LOVE Robin Williams, but he convinced FAAAR too many mediocre white guys that doing an accent = effortlessly funny.
0 replies 0 reposts 6 likes