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Alan Beattie@alanbeattie.bsky.social |
OK folks. Two days till UK election day. Hit me with your best #BanterHeuristic predictions.
I'll start: Tories come second, just ten seats ahead of the LibDems. Eleven Tory MPs immediately defect to Reform, making Ed Davey Leader of the Opposition. #banter
10 replies 1 reposts 23 likes
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BrokenBanker
@brokenbanker.bsky.social
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the Tories and Reform broker a deal to merge, as long as Farage gets a shadow cabinet seat, thereby just pipping the LDs as the official opposition. Farage is given Northern Ireland and engages the services of Baroness Hoey as an adviser.
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Kevin Marks
@kevinmarks.com
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Labour get 420 seats, Tories and LD ~60 each. 75 Labour MPs split off as Socialist Labour and become the official opposition, both solving the who sits where problem and dominating PMQs.
0 replies 0 reposts 7 likes
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Jim McFadden
@jimmcfadden.bsky.social
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Farage fails to win Clacton, narrowly, and supporters stage a cack-handed, futile and embarrassing Jan 6th on the counting office. Sad in the sort of ways only Britain can manage.
1 replies 0 reposts 5 likes
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Divyang Shah
@divyang.bsky.social
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Farage takes his Reform company/party public but lists in NY not London. Uses funds to 'persuade' those that remain in the Tory party to merge and thus forming the largest opposition. Gets everyone to then create videos with the income used to buy back Reform shares and take it private again #banter
0 replies 0 reposts 3 likes
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Hotblack
@hotblack.bsky.social
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Reform gets Farage and Anderson elected. They fight over the limelight and bicker incessantly. Within 6 months Anderson is either kicked out after a scandal or defects to set up The Real Reform party. Farage sues over Trademark infringement.
1 replies 0 reposts 2 likes
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Hotblack
@hotblack.bsky.social
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Corbyn wins in Islington. Farage in Clacton. They find themselves often sitting next to each other on the benches. A friendship begins in their combined criticism of Labour and they start a podcast together.
0 replies 1 reposts 4 likes
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Hotblack
@hotblack.bsky.social
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Sunak really does want to stay on and as the Tory party cannot unite or organise anything in terms of a leadership contest they let him be a caretaker. After 6 months it turns out he’s actually quite good at the job. They’re then in a bind as they find it difficult to replace him.
1 replies 0 reposts 3 likes
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G
@gneill.bsky.social
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All of the established candidates for the Conservative leadership, including the PM, lose their seats leading to a King Ralph style situation.
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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John Hannen
@jhannen.bsky.social
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dead heat in seat numbers between the tories and the LDs - there's no process at that point and they have to try to negotiate coalition agreements with the smaller parties, which gets protracted and messy. Tories get enough support from UUP - who continually threaten to bring down the opposition
0 replies 0 reposts 2 likes
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Tomas Hirst
@tomashirstecon.bsky.social
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Sunak accidentally wins a majority by foolishly proposing a referendum on a key plank of Britain’s economic strategy, then proceeds to actually have to hold it and loses… oh, wait…
0 replies 0 reposts 2 likes