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Benjamin Johns@baj.bsky.social |
162 followers 439 following 1680 posts
Just PR'd on my journey to become World's Oldest Man and deserve congratulations. Formerly @theoreticalb (and still theoreticalb@mastodon.social)
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Benjamin Johns
@baj.bsky.social
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We've never had more (or less) than twenty years' worth of oil because there's never been an economically viable reason for anyone to look for more oil than we expect to need for the next twenty years.
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Benjamin Johns
@baj.bsky.social
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Odd choice for the Alito household but no lies detected.
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Benjamin Johns
@baj.bsky.social
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Benjamin Johns
@baj.bsky.social
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Conservatism is fundamentally a political philosophy asserting the world should be like you thought it was when you were nine. "And also I should get to literally be a nine year old" is a lemma at that point.
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Benjamin Johns
@baj.bsky.social
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I was really surprised he agreed to a debate and still mostly expect him to weasel back out of it. When he's lucid he has to know his best shot is to have Fox News do the talking and not let persuadable voters get a solid look at him.
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Benjamin Johns
@baj.bsky.social
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The facts that Biden has no power over a county AG, that THIS President has never been meaningfully accused of influencing the federal AG, and that Trump DID influence his AGs while these toadies "no-commented" through it, would matter if any of them had credibility left to lose. But they don't.
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Benjamin Johns
@baj.bsky.social
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"I know I just got convicted of a crime I can't pardon my way out of but if you help me get elected by committing crimes I'll pardon you, if I can, which I probably can't, and if I don't lose, which I might, and if I remember to do it, which, who are you again?" Rousing stuff.
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Benjamin Johns
@baj.bsky.social
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Remember a few months ago when the political press was awash in op-eds about how Biden should drop out because a Federalist Society stooge said he might appear old to a jury? Trump just appeared guilty of 34 felonies to a jury. Let's see if the ol' Op-ed page thinks he should take a graceful exit.
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Benjamin Johns
@baj.bsky.social
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"And now that my LAST pencil is lined up perfectly with all my other pencils let's take a look at this file about this Donald fellow-- whoa, is it an election year already? Off you go to the '2025, Maybe' drawer!"
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Benjamin Johns
@baj.bsky.social
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Donald: When you get to prison, find the biggest, meanest, ugliest guy there and shiv them. It's going to hurt like hell sticking a shiv in yourself like that but the food is better in the infirmary.
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Benjamin Johns
@baj.bsky.social
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Area Man Who Slept Through Most of Trial Very Angry, Confused About Outcome of Trial
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Benjamin Johns
@baj.bsky.social
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IN FACT NELSON MANDELA HIMSELF
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Benjamin Johns
@baj.bsky.social
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I know more people looking for work now than anytime I can remember. (I have a bunch of friends in tech and media). It sucks, but it would suck more to presume the economy is "good" when my friends are all still employed but fifteen percent of the country is out of work. Like, mid-2020.
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Benjamin Johns
@baj.bsky.social
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Disgusting coward.
www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/202...
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Benjamin Johns
@baj.bsky.social
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There's really only two outcomes for RFK: Trump wins, and Democrats blame him for it for the rest of his life, or Biden wins, and Trump supporters literally murder him.
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Benjamin Johns
@baj.bsky.social
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Trotting around with Herman Cain's COVID-infested corpse like an edgy reboot of Weekend at Bernie's.
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Benjamin Johns
@baj.bsky.social
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Okay but Jason Alexander is still okay, right?
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Benjamin Johns
@baj.bsky.social
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There's a point at which the production/consumption geographic mismatch and need to time-shift energy becomes irrelevant because we're overproducing so much that even lossy storage like pumped water or hydrogen becomes cost effective, but I'm not sure where that point is. 130%? 150%?
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Benjamin Johns
@baj.bsky.social
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But who will raise her fetuses?
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Benjamin Johns
@baj.bsky.social
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This sounds right and it's unfortunate that Biden +3 is also "Probable Trump Electoral College Victory."
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Benjamin Johns
@baj.bsky.social
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While we're on the topic I'm pretty sure the ending to The Mystery of Edwin Drood sucked and Coleridge is just lucky the Person From Porlock came by right before he started composing the 16 minute Phish-style guitar solo portion of Kubla Khan.
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Benjamin Johns
@baj.bsky.social
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They will die broke and destitute, leaving debts to the children who haven't spoken to them in years, muttering "they should have locked her up," having eagerly shoved what meager savings they ever had into the sweaty little hand of history's least convincing wallet inspector.
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Benjamin Johns
@baj.bsky.social
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Forecasters are expecting an extremely active hurricane season in the Atlantic this year due to climate change, possibly pushing later into November, increasing the probability that an election day hurricane hits Florida. Anyway goodnight.
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Benjamin Johns
@baj.bsky.social
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Also infuriating is that the thing he was responding to was oil execs complaining that the fortune they spend on (almost exclusively Republican) lobbyists isn't getting results from the Biden administration and... WHY is it Democrats' fault you're paying lobbyists a fortune to go on golf trips?
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Benjamin Johns
@baj.bsky.social
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Benjamin Johns
@baj.bsky.social
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This is Steve Jobs' legacy-- a certainty that Apple knows what customers want better than the customers do-- but there was only one Steve Jobs, and even he made the Lisa.
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Benjamin Johns
@baj.bsky.social
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Being in the Trump administration means being prepared to lie your way through the new scandal that pops up every week with enough belligerence that everyone just gets tired of asking you about it and. She. Does. Not. Have. The. Juice.
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Benjamin Johns
@baj.bsky.social
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I thought this was a Bush reference, because it's the same as it ever was.
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Benjamin Johns
@baj.bsky.social
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"Getting a call from the decision desk... This is unexpected... Yes, we're calling it... RFK Jr has won Ceti Alpha 5 and its fourteen electoral college votes!"
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Benjamin Johns
@baj.bsky.social
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It's very hard to cut through the noise, and the posters were basically unintelligible, and there was just no buzz at all. But yes: when you're used to Tiktok, sitting in a dark room exclusively watching a movie for 100 minutes straight seems like an exercise in monastic discipline.
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Benjamin Johns
@baj.bsky.social
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This sucks. I watched it last week. A huge fun action-comedy-romance thing that no one makes any more, and now we'll get more "Anyone But Yous" instead.
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Benjamin Johns
@baj.bsky.social
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Area man who spent entire life in national politics pretends he doesn't understand how the two party system works so he doesn't have to do the moral thing that he dislikes.
thehill.com/homenews/cam...
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Benjamin Johns
@baj.bsky.social
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I'm trying to get tickets to the execution but it's either obstructed view or I'm going to have to go aftermarket and you KNOW that's gonna sting.
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Benjamin Johns
@baj.bsky.social
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"My feelings don't care about the facts!"
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Benjamin Johns
@baj.bsky.social
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Maybe, but I don't think so. The GOP loves Trump, and Trump loves to roll over and crush his most ardent supporters. Murdoch could not have been MORE in the tank for the GOP but they didn't lift a finger to help with the Dominion trial.
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Benjamin Johns
@baj.bsky.social
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I hate when they add a time qualifier on these. Presumably if it removes the amount of CO2 as about 8,500 cars in a year every year, it also removes the same amount as 8,500 cars in a day every day, and the same amount as 8,500 cars in a century every century?
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Benjamin Johns
@baj.bsky.social
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Remember the dread is what their donors are all paying for and refuse to give it to them, out of spite. Easier said than done, I know.
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Benjamin Johns
@baj.bsky.social
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Nothing will happen in November. Even if he loses no elected Republican will ever admit it, and they won't even gesture at accepting it until after inauguration in January.
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Benjamin Johns
@baj.bsky.social
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Additional details: The bear has rabies. The man is named Jared.
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Swell guy
@lettuce.bsky.social
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Billy Joel: I wrote a song about a bunch of problems that I didn't start. I mentioned you Doris Day: what
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Benjamin Johns
@baj.bsky.social
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It does seem a little unfair that Kristi Noem killed one puppy and is off the Trump ticket when his former running mate gave a hundred people in Indiana HIV and nobody even covered it until he'd already been in office for four years. www.politico.com/news/magazin...
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Benjamin Johns
@baj.bsky.social
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It'd be such a disservice to the amazing journalism the Times did breaking the story "Biden Old."
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Benjamin Johns
@baj.bsky.social
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These conferences bridge the whole ideological spectrum from "conservative" all the way to "far-right."
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Benjamin Johns
@baj.bsky.social
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I thought this was an annoying but acceptable little political protest against Obamacare when it first started happening, but brother, it's been over a decade and at this point it's a "reminder the owner wouldn't provide their employees with health insurance if the government didn't force them to."
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Benjamin Johns
@baj.bsky.social
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Yeah, I called this wrong too. I really thought he would be a presidential contender in 2028. My new assumption Is that Tucker's audience would watch instructional colonoscopy videos if that was what was playing in the 8:00 Fox News time slot.
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Benjamin Johns
@baj.bsky.social
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Tired: Girl math Wired: Paper Towel math
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Benjamin Johns
@baj.bsky.social
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I can't believe this worked on me.
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Chris Jackson
@chrsjcksn.bsky.social
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Pierce pays board of trustees to call riot police in Dean Pelton calls the police but then becomes target and hides in his office after trying to seduce Jeff Chang takes command of police and goes after Dean Pelton
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Benjamin Johns
@baj.bsky.social
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Frankly weird that the little News ticker on the Wordle website thinks it's going to score an interview with the President of the United States.
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