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🌻Bread

@breadlife.bsky.social

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I’M WRITING THIS STANDING ON THE COUCH, MY WIFE HAS LEFT THE ROOM, IT’S JUST YOU AND ME NOW

🌻Bread's avatar 🌻Bread @breadlife.bsky.social
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open.spotify.com/show/5eLpTxh... does a great job of this with a sequential narrative of 20th century; highlights how much of it was path dependence while not letting guys like Wilhelm off the hook.

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🌻Bread's avatar 🌻Bread @breadlife.bsky.social
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Careful there Pargin, this here be Glizzy Lizzy country and we keep glizzys in our gats

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🌻Bread's avatar 🌻Bread @breadlife.bsky.social
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Ed Edwards: “I don’t have skeletons in my closet, I have a cemetery in my front yard” Kennedy: “they call me the crypt keeper, for reasons I can’t go into”

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🌻Bread's avatar 🌻Bread @breadlife.bsky.social
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Ed Edwards: “no one is going to top me in insane scandals. Others may achieve greater heights of corruption, horniness, or just vanilla evil, but none will top my insanity” Kennedy: “hold my brain worm”

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🌻Bread's avatar 🌻Bread @breadlife.bsky.social
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Build a wall around every trump property. A spite wall. en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spite_f...

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🌻Bread's avatar 🌻Bread @breadlife.bsky.social
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President porking porn stars, what a country *yakov smirnoff voice*

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🌻Bread's avatar 🌻Bread @breadlife.bsky.social
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The Greek prime minister keeps a bottle of hemlock in his desk drawer for just this purpose.

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🌻Bread's avatar 🌻Bread @breadlife.bsky.social
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Just you wait, he’s warming up those knees

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🌻Bread's avatar 🌻Bread @breadlife.bsky.social
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All I’m saying is can’t we figure out a way to get Liz Truss over here to, you know, do him in like she did the queen?

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🌻Bread's avatar 🌻Bread @breadlife.bsky.social
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Not too brag too much, but I'm the comms director for Biden and it was my idea to have him do a senile Reagan impression. He didn't want to do it, so I had to use the 'ol bowl of jellybeans trick, just like I did with the Gipper.

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🌻Bread's avatar 🌻Bread @breadlife.bsky.social
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One of the men is now saying he has twice, no thrice, the number of wolves inside him compared to his opponent.

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🌻Bread's avatar 🌻Bread @breadlife.bsky.social
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Truly curious who trump picks for vp. I think Vance would be odious but strongest pick, but I’d guess trump doesn’t want anyone with that much charisma. My $ is on Desantis.

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🌻Bread's avatar 🌻Bread @breadlife.bsky.social
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Inside both men there are two wolves, that’s a total of four wolves were talking about folks.

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ceej's avatar ceej @ceej.online
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I will be voting for whichever candidate proves themselves the most generous lover

7 replies 21 reposts 125 likes

🌻Bread's avatar 🌻Bread @breadlife.bsky.social
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"This election is going to be spicier than the hot sauce I keep in my hip holster." Note: the "hot sauce" is a propriety mix of Ovaltine and the oil they use to grease the Tin Man.

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🌻Bread's avatar 🌻Bread @breadlife.bsky.social
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What's the issue? I lost my label maker so I've been branding everything, my bag, my car, my sandwiches, all of it.

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🌻Bread's avatar 🌻Bread @breadlife.bsky.social
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“Hey lonely ladies come get this billionaire jizz, it’s how you get kids with flair and rizz” I mean the jingles write themselves

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🌻Bread's avatar 🌻Bread @breadlife.bsky.social
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To everyone who scoffed when I said we should shoot the infants before it’s too late, look who’s laughing now.

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🌻Bread's avatar 🌻Bread @breadlife.bsky.social
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Anyone else read this in Werner Herzog’s voice?

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🌻Bread's avatar 🌻Bread @breadlife.bsky.social
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The discourse is a flat circle, a said triangle that sings like a dinner bell for the piggies

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🌻Bread's avatar 🌻Bread @breadlife.bsky.social
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eating dozens of cans of Lay's Stax BBQ chips, storing the empty cylinders in empty wine boxes: "soon"

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🌻Bread's avatar 🌻Bread @breadlife.bsky.social
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Yup. I don’t have any suggestions, but I definitely don’t like the results of sending an aggrieved draft army to sack a city old-world style.

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🌻Bread's avatar 🌻Bread @breadlife.bsky.social
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At this point given language out of France, if Putin started winning, how close could he get to Dnieper before facing non-Ukrainian troops?

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🌻Bread's avatar 🌻Bread @breadlife.bsky.social
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When my dog wakes me up at 6am to start the day

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🌻Bread's avatar 🌻Bread @breadlife.bsky.social
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Have you been neglecting the good luck bread dance?

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🌻Bread's avatar 🌻Bread @breadlife.bsky.social
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The only thing anyone wants is access to a hot communal hole

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🌻Bread's avatar 🌻Bread @breadlife.bsky.social
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Hello have you heard the good Word? We have turkey pastrami now, we don’t have to pretend to like any other kind of turkey anymore.

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🌻Bread's avatar 🌻Bread @breadlife.bsky.social
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Good idea, less likely there to get shot down by Russian friendly fire.

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🌻Bread's avatar 🌻Bread @breadlife.bsky.social
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You: a productive member of society, doing productive things on a work day Me: trying to convince ChatGPT that RRR still stands for Ravishing Rick Rude

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🌻Bread's avatar 🌻Bread @breadlife.bsky.social
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Just sprinkle some crack I mean Hamas on them.

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🌻Bread's avatar 🌻Bread @breadlife.bsky.social
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Look at them. They’re called Ukrainian Muffins now

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🌻Bread's avatar 🌻Bread @breadlife.bsky.social
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Gimme some of that spite water, looks delicious

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🌻Bread's avatar 🌻Bread @breadlife.bsky.social
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I would have never guessed that party apparatchiks would spew propaganda that directly and immediately hurt and reduced their constituency (don't take the vax, move to Russia). Old me: we might fail because tragedy of commons Today me: what in the actual fuck

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🌻Bread's avatar 🌻Bread @breadlife.bsky.social
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The term “balls to the wall” has been imbued with new meaning

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🌻Bread's avatar 🌻Bread @breadlife.bsky.social
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My memes: real, like the ghetto Your memes: fake, like Jay Leto

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🌻Bread's avatar 🌻Bread @breadlife.bsky.social
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They would view that as unilateral disarmament

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🌻Bread's avatar 🌻Bread @breadlife.bsky.social
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Just made some overnight tortillas this with 20% discard instead of proper starter. Just replace raising agent in any recipe and give 8-12 hours to bulk ferment.

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🌻Bread's avatar 🌻Bread @breadlife.bsky.social
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How many of these views were of John Wick 4?

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🌻Bread's avatar 🌻Bread @breadlife.bsky.social
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Damn girl are you employed cuz I’m not

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🌻Bread's avatar 🌻Bread @breadlife.bsky.social
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When you are accustomed to sacrosanct treatment, retaliation feels like unprovoked impudence.

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Reposted by 🌻Bread

Parker Molloy's avatar Parker Molloy @parkermolloy.com
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Hear me out: train the AI on only public domain material and let it talk like a copy of Beowulf

15 replies 66 reposts 486 likes