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ceej
@ceej.online
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he could win ohio
0 replies 0 reposts 4 likes
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ceej@ceej.online |
3140 followers 662 following 3046 posts
just here to have fun online
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ceej
@ceej.online
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he could win ohio
0 replies 0 reposts 4 likes
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ceej
@ceej.online
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I’m picturing a drip of vanilla ice cream sliding down that saucy bottom lip
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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ceej
@ceej.online
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Biden should get lip fillers
6 replies 1 reposts 53 likes
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ceej
@ceej.online
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if we use all the oil now, there won’t be any gas left for future generations to put in their trucks. we should leave some down there
0 replies 3 reposts 14 likes
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ceej
@ceej.online
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dropping hints to the other guys at the cathedral that I’d like to join their secret order. “one thing you gotta know about about me? I love doing rituals. that and wearing robes and hanging out in a crypt”
1 replies 2 reposts 33 likes
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ceej
@ceej.online
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LIP
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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ceej
@ceej.online
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🤚 hi, giant beaver scientist here: they did it
1 replies 0 reposts 8 likes
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ceej
@ceej.online
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yeah I’m gonna follow him. follow him right into an alley
0 replies 0 reposts 9 likes
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ceej
@ceej.online
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if a ghost dies they turn back alive
5 replies 23 reposts 138 likes
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ceej
@ceej.online
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humiliated after a misunderstanding at the local banned books club for showing up with a copy of The Wrecking Crew
2 replies 0 reposts 10 likes
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more mr. nice guy
@juniorhoncho.bsky.social
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(noah fishing god's instructions out of the garbage to double check after loading one of every animal onto the ark) FUCK
0 replies 5 reposts 51 likes
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ceej
@ceej.online
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trying to return something to the marketplace of ideas but the shopkeeper flips over the "out to lunch" sign as soon as they see me coming
1 replies 9 reposts 42 likes
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ceej
@ceej.online
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it’s called electrolytes
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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ceej
@ceej.online
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there’s a guy in my neighborhood with a pristine, beautiful, painstakingly-restored 1948 Chevy Fleetmaster who decided the perfect addition was a “Let’s Go Brandon” sticker right on the back
1 replies 0 reposts 6 likes
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ceej
@ceej.online
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Bad news: Manchin has announced his intention to filibuster
1 replies 0 reposts 17 likes
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ceej
@ceej.online
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sorry, it's trash
0 replies 0 reposts 2 likes
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ceej
@ceej.online
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The human body: it's inefficient. That's why, today, we're announcing Body 2.0
4 replies 4 reposts 38 likes
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ceej
@ceej.online
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the bluesky dev team is currently trapped in an abandoned mine shaft. unfortunately there isn't wifi down there so we're not getting video this week either. sending prayers
4 replies 6 reposts 73 likes
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ceej
@ceej.online
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From the Twisted Mind of Carlos Mencia……
3 replies 4 reposts 46 likes
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ceej
@ceej.online
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multiclassing to get all the benefits of being a dumbshit
1 replies 0 reposts 10 likes
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Frances Meh
@francesmeh.reviews
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american werewolves are only in london because they were stolen from the isle of manhattan by the british museum
4 replies 40 reposts 134 likes
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ceej
@ceej.online
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marijuana is a gateway drug. my buddy smoked it on the event horizon and ended up plucking his own eyes out
2 replies 14 reposts 88 likes
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ceej
@ceej.online
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AI disinformation is out of control. no, the UK doesn’t “have elections.” the man on the island with the thickest fingers automatically becomes king
2 replies 24 reposts 147 likes
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ceej
@ceej.online
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Why You Shouldn’t Vote, and I Won’t Either (I Actually Will Though, and So Will All of My Friends, You Know the Ones)
1 replies 5 reposts 49 likes
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ceej
@ceej.online
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I once spent an entire Fourth of July, morning until dusk, beset upon by a menagerie of fools while trying to chase down a pack of swisher sweets. Closest my life has ever come to a Pynchon novel
2 replies 2 reposts 39 likes
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ceej
@ceej.online
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eating hot dogs, in a leftist way
1 replies 8 reposts 80 likes
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ceej
@ceej.online
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they’re working on a bipartisan bill to give the statue of liberty huge honkers
9 replies 23 reposts 126 likes
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ceej
@ceej.online
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they only say not to microwave metal because they don’t want us to know that it tastes good warmed up
0 replies 7 reposts 69 likes
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ceej
@ceej.online
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congratulations, eric!
0 replies 0 reposts 2 likes
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ceej
@ceej.online
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The stranger who knocked my door seeking shelter offered naught but a grunt of thanks till, over stew, announcing the sound of rats in my granary! Anon, I rushed out but saw the grain intact, whereupon returning found the shape of a devilish penis pressed into my bowl of custard. Strange magics…
0 replies 8 reposts 61 likes
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ceej
@ceej.online
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A tweet I think about
0 replies 1 reposts 30 likes
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ceej
@ceej.online
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I Got Pregnant with the Tyrant’s Child on Tappytoon
1 replies 1 reposts 36 likes
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ceej
@ceej.online
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hash brown? yeah, usually
1 replies 3 reposts 27 likes
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ceej
@ceej.online
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would end on the helicopter when the contestants find out they’re not allowed to bring an egg cup
1 replies 0 reposts 4 likes
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ceej
@ceej.online
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This is how they pronounce it in Britain
0 replies 0 reposts 7 likes
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ceej
@ceej.online
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“you’re my 100%” - person who would invite a vampire into their home
0 replies 1 reposts 8 likes
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ceej
@ceej.online
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just finished the first british season of “the traitors.” softest reality show contestants of all time. oh, was it emotionally difficult to lie for ten days? did you find it sooo hard to play a game for money? baby shit. the average american sorority girl would crush them all like bugs
5 replies 7 reposts 125 likes
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heiðrún
@harpy.party
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a hotdog with the power to forgive
1 replies 25 reposts 84 likes
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ceej
@ceej.online
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Joe Biden has NOT gotten his head stuck in a big pipe and had his cranium stretched out to conehead proportions. And he shouldn’t have to go on camera to prove that to you
0 replies 3 reposts 45 likes
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ceej
@ceej.online
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divorce
0 replies 0 reposts 2 likes
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ceej
@ceej.online
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why isn’t there an aggro crag you can rent for parties
2 replies 0 reposts 15 likes
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ceej
@ceej.online
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today, on nextdoor, there are one million arguments happening between someone whose dog pisses the rug every time a bottle rocket pops and a guy typing with all his fingers resting on the home row for the last time
5 replies 5 reposts 50 likes
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ceej
@ceej.online
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underwear subscriptions: you send me one pair of underwear a month, and after seven months I have enough underwear for the rest of my life? what is the long-term business plan here
4 replies 12 reposts 54 likes
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ceej
@ceej.online
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Uh-Oh: Divorced Co-Worker Changed Desktop Background to Promo Still from Joker: Folie à Deux
2 replies 12 reposts 96 likes
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ceej
@ceej.online
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an actual pair of sunglasses would bankrupt humanity
1 replies 5 reposts 23 likes
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ceej
@ceej.online
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check this out
4 replies 2 reposts 16 likes
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ceej
@ceej.online
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getting sucked into silent hill but the greatest pain at the center of my psyche is not ordering french fries at lunch so the whole thing starts to become very potato-focused
3 replies 8 reposts 87 likes
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ceej
@ceej.online
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it just seems like the game has a pretty well known title I just don’t know why they’d mess that up leak DMs
1 replies 0 reposts 2 likes
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ceej
@ceej.online
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hi jumping into your private dm here to ask: why would they do that, jesse
1 replies 0 reposts 3 likes
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ceej
@ceej.online
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I can’t remember, did those ladies win
1 replies 0 reposts 3 likes