Christopher Moore's avatar

Christopher Moore

@theauthorguy.bsky.social

3817 followers 795 following 659 posts

Satire is my business. NY Times bestselling author of 18 novels, including Lamb, Fool, Noir, and Razzmatazz.

Christopher Moore's avatar Christopher Moore @theauthorguy.bsky.social
[ View ]

Moby Dick was a sperm whale.

4 replies 1 reposts 7 likes

Christopher Moore's avatar Christopher Moore @theauthorguy.bsky.social
[ View ]

My Hip-Hop nom de guerre is Old Yeller.

2 replies 0 reposts 20 likes

Christopher Moore's avatar Christopher Moore @theauthorguy.bsky.social
[ View ]

As a response to Amber Rose joining team Trump, I will be live-twerking all of President Biden's speeches. Please respect my family's privacy during this off-the-hook time.

0 replies 1 reposts 37 likes

Reposted by Christopher Moore

Christopher Moore's avatar Christopher Moore @theauthorguy.bsky.social
[ View ]

If President Biden needs someone to yell at
#Felon45, I will help. I've been training for this for years.

1 replies 0 reposts 46 likes

Reposted by Christopher Moore

Esther Schindler's avatar Esther Schindler @estherschindler.bsky.social
[ View ]

"Writing is the only thing that, when I do it, I don't feel I should be doing something else." -- Gloria Steinem (photo: me at 12)

0 replies 3 reposts 6 likes

Reposted by Christopher Moore

's avatar @mayzshon.bsky.social
[ View ]

I want political debates to operate under the same rules as college debates, with a panel of judges who score the answer.

2 replies 1 reposts 13 likes

Christopher Moore's avatar Christopher Moore @theauthorguy.bsky.social
[ View ]

Every high school or college debate team ever. Because if everyone lies, all the time, you have to make decisions on who is loudest.

1 replies 0 reposts 3 likes

Christopher Moore's avatar Christopher Moore @theauthorguy.bsky.social
[ View ]

They're always tryn to cheer us up 😁

3 replies 0 reposts 37 likes

Christopher Moore's avatar Christopher Moore @theauthorguy.bsky.social
[ View ]

What if - and hear me out - from now on, we judge debate performance by the accuracy of the participants statements?

13 replies 28 reposts 137 likes

Reposted by Christopher Moore

Artologica 's avatar Artologica @artologica.net
[ View ]

Squirrel of the Day for July 5, 2024 #sqrlpix

1 replies 14 reposts 132 likes

Christopher Moore's avatar Christopher Moore @theauthorguy.bsky.social
[ View ]

I didn't necessarily mean they would flip positions. She could pick a VP candidate and they would be elected.

0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes

Christopher Moore's avatar Christopher Moore @theauthorguy.bsky.social
[ View ]

I'm pleased to see people are opening to the idea of Kamala Harris at the top of the ticket. We're riding with Biden as long as he wants to run, but I'll be happy to support VP Harris if she's our nominee. (Spare my your "she's a cop" responses. Logically she's the only choice if Joe steps down.)

4 replies 9 reposts 85 likes

Christopher Moore's avatar Christopher Moore @theauthorguy.bsky.social
[ View ]

J.D. Vance texting Felon45 to find out if it's okay to wear a clip-on noose to the inauguration.

0 replies 0 reposts 17 likes

Christopher Moore's avatar Christopher Moore @theauthorguy.bsky.social
[ View ]

Sometimes I loathe editing my own stuff. While editing will inevitably make the book better, it often feels like: "Oh look at the novel way I fucked things up that day."

1 replies 0 reposts 53 likes

Christopher Moore's avatar Christopher Moore @theauthorguy.bsky.social
[ View ]

My Grandma used to call cantaloupes, musk melons, so in honor of her, I give you your new sobriquet for Felon45: The Musk Melon Felon. You're welcome.

1 replies 1 reposts 44 likes

Christopher Moore's avatar Christopher Moore @theauthorguy.bsky.social
[ View ]

The "Democracy is Mob Rule" crowd is saying this because they are in a numerical minority, and their rights absolutely should be protected. The irony is that the people they support and have put in power are systematically taking those rights away.

0 replies 3 reposts 30 likes

Christopher Moore's avatar Christopher Moore @theauthorguy.bsky.social
[ View ]

Get up, wash the barf out of your hair, and brush your fucking teeth, we've got Democracy to save.

0 replies 9 reposts 57 likes

Christopher Moore's avatar Christopher Moore @theauthorguy.bsky.social
[ View ]

Felon45's fondness for "the snake" parable misses, I think, that in this scenario, he's the snake. "You knew I was a criminal when you voted for me, did you expect me to behave differently?"

1 replies 2 reposts 31 likes

Christopher Moore's avatar Christopher Moore @theauthorguy.bsky.social
[ View ]

I think The American Society of Magical Negros on Peacock is a terrific piece of satire. I recommend it. Your thoughts?

1 replies 0 reposts 6 likes

Christopher Moore's avatar Christopher Moore @theauthorguy.bsky.social
[ View ]

No, but all "likes" are private, now. So if you're a Nazi or, I don't know, you like hamster porn, other people can't see it. The consensus is that it's so porn sites can raise their traffic, but none of that was stated by the company.

4 replies 0 reposts 7 likes

Christopher Moore's avatar Christopher Moore @theauthorguy.bsky.social
[ View ]

SQUIRREL OF THE DAY! SQUIRREL OF THE DAY! SQUIRREL OF THE MOTHER-SPLOOTING DAY!

2 replies 1 reposts 26 likes

Christopher Moore's avatar Christopher Moore @theauthorguy.bsky.social
[ View ]

I do occasionally. I suppose it should be, "Squirrel of the Sporadic Time Frame" but it takes to long to type that out.

2 replies 0 reposts 8 likes

Christopher Moore's avatar Christopher Moore @theauthorguy.bsky.social
[ View ]

Essentially he already has. You can block someone, but they can still see your stuff. That didn't used to be the case.

2 replies 0 reposts 3 likes

Christopher Moore's avatar Christopher Moore @theauthorguy.bsky.social
[ View ]

Welcome noobs! Tons of people signing up here at Bluesky after another Twitter "improvement".

7 replies 5 reposts 96 likes

Christopher Moore's avatar Christopher Moore @theauthorguy.bsky.social
[ View ]

I propose "Felon45" as the sobriquet for Stinky.

2 replies 1 reposts 38 likes

Christopher Moore's avatar Christopher Moore @theauthorguy.bsky.social
[ View ]

If that's not nice I don't know what is. -Kurt Vonnegut

3 replies 12 reposts 87 likes

Christopher Moore's avatar Christopher Moore @theauthorguy.bsky.social
[ View ]

Who says shame is dead? This is a Tesla.

3 replies 2 reposts 49 likes

Christopher Moore's avatar Christopher Moore @theauthorguy.bsky.social
[ View ]

Didn’t realize until this place opened in my neighborhood how the Barbery Coast got it’s name. Now it’s even more barbery.

1 replies 0 reposts 32 likes

Reposted by Christopher Moore

Chuck Wendig's avatar Chuck Wendig @chuckwendig.bsky.social
[ View ]

It looks like both MOCKINGBIRD *and* THE CORMORANT are on sale for $2.99 if you're so inclined to grabby grabby. The Miriam Black series is six books, the series complete, so that's nice for you, if you don't mind a foul-mouthed fate-versus-free-will kinda horror-crimey thing.

1 replies 10 reposts 40 likes

Christopher Moore's avatar Christopher Moore @theauthorguy.bsky.social
[ View ]

There's an non-denominational Aids Chapel at Grace Cathedral in San Francisco. There's an altar piece by Keith Haring and a piece of the AIDS quilt featuring San Franciscans lost in the plague.

1 replies 11 reposts 67 likes

Christopher Moore's avatar Christopher Moore @theauthorguy.bsky.social
[ View ]

If you seen the series, this a funny joke.

4 replies 3 reposts 40 likes

Reposted by Christopher Moore

Jon Bois's avatar Jon Bois @jonbois.bsky.social
[ View ]

if i was a tortured poet i would stop being a poet on account of all the torture

36 replies 217 reposts 1576 likes

Christopher Moore's avatar Christopher Moore @theauthorguy.bsky.social
[ View ]

Absolutely. Spent an hour yesterday helping a friend getting her very new, very fancy dryer running. It has "diagnostics" through your phone, which didn't work, and hard resets (the classic "turn it off (unplug) and turn it back on" didn't work.) Turned out the "child lock" was on. Grrrr.

1 replies 0 reposts 9 likes

Christopher Moore's avatar Christopher Moore @theauthorguy.bsky.social
[ View ]

I do like it. I have a hard time buying Douglas as Franklin. He's so Michael Douglas.

1 replies 0 reposts 2 likes

Christopher Moore's avatar Christopher Moore @theauthorguy.bsky.social
[ View ]

The Republicans in Congress terrified the administration with their ridiculous investigations of antisemitism on campus.

0 replies 0 reposts 6 likes

Christopher Moore's avatar Christopher Moore @theauthorguy.bsky.social
[ View ]

I like that in the new Franklin series on Apple TV the Marquis de Lafayette is all, "I want to fuck up some Englishmen, if I can help your little republic, all the better, but I am all about the dead Limeys, mon ami."* *I'm paraphrasing.

6 replies 2 reposts 49 likes