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Sean Thomason
@seanthomason.bsky.social
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Jaws was such a good movie that people have pretended to care about something called "Shark Week" for like 35 years.
0 replies 0 reposts 11 likes
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Sean Thomason@seanthomason.bsky.social |
1234 followers 242 following 1299 posts
Rifftrax Writer / Producer
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Sean Thomason
@seanthomason.bsky.social
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Jaws was such a good movie that people have pretended to care about something called "Shark Week" for like 35 years.
0 replies 0 reposts 11 likes
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Sean Thomason
@seanthomason.bsky.social
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Basically anyone who wants to be president is a sick fucked-up little freak. They should be pitied, studied, and removed from polite society.
4 replies 36 reposts 185 likes
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Sean Thomason
@seanthomason.bsky.social
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He's not coming back from this
0 replies 0 reposts 3 likes
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Sean Thomason
@seanthomason.bsky.social
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Hey Bruce Springsteen, born down in a dead man's town much?
1 replies 1 reposts 4 likes
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Sean Thomason
@seanthomason.bsky.social
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Turns out Mad Max Fury Road syncs up pretty well with constant neighborhood fireworks.
0 replies 0 reposts 21 likes
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Sean Thomason
@seanthomason.bsky.social
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After like a two year break from watching any Star Wars stuff I’m finally listening to everyone about Andor. So far I like the tone and the needy red fire hydrant robot.
2 replies 0 reposts 13 likes
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Sean Thomason
@seanthomason.bsky.social
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Josie survived but Jaws got most of the Pussycats.
0 replies 1 reposts 15 likes
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Sean Thomason
@seanthomason.bsky.social
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The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots. But first, try resetting your router.
0 replies 0 reposts 9 likes
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Sean Thomason
@seanthomason.bsky.social
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Some people can’t imagine spending a holiday alone but I fucking excel at it.
1 replies 0 reposts 29 likes
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Sean Thomason
@seanthomason.bsky.social
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This afternoon I will proudly say the Pledge of Allegiance: “One ticket for Jaws, please.”
0 replies 5 reposts 16 likes
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Sean Thomason
@seanthomason.bsky.social
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Basically how it feels to be an American everyday smdh
0 replies 0 reposts 14 likes
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Sean Thomason
@seanthomason.bsky.social
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Paul McCartney: Blackbird, take these broken wings and learn to fly Blackbird: And how exactly do you expect me to do that, motherfucker
2 replies 4 reposts 27 likes
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Sean Thomason
@seanthomason.bsky.social
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🎶 Cat Stevens saw Gener cryin’ in his sleep
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Sean Thomason
@seanthomason.bsky.social
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What joy comes from this, what light? But I know, it is the same joy a man gets from running his useless leafblower in the wee hours to dominate his neighbors
1 replies 0 reposts 3 likes
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Sean Thomason
@seanthomason.bsky.social
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Just heard the first loud firework go off in my neighborhood. It's 4:15 and sunny as hell.
4 replies 0 reposts 5 likes
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Sean Thomason
@seanthomason.bsky.social
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Overheard two 6 year olds at a diner talking very seriously about nuclear treaties and the Illuminati, and I really couldn't tell if they were discussing a video game or their futures.
0 replies 0 reposts 12 likes
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Sean Thomason
@seanthomason.bsky.social
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Just checked and I don't think I have an opinion on Kamala. I guess I can develop one, when and if I need to.
0 replies 0 reposts 5 likes
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bee lake
@leemanish.bsky.social
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never weigh yourself right after drinking mercury
0 replies 5 reposts 26 likes
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Sean Thomason
@seanthomason.bsky.social
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gotta love that 'dilla life
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Sean Thomason
@seanthomason.bsky.social
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2009: Should I join twitter? Isn't it just people saying what they had for lunch? 2024: Please, just tell me what you had for lunch.
5 replies 9 reposts 88 likes
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Sean Thomason
@seanthomason.bsky.social
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I haven't but I will now 🙏
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Sean Thomason
@seanthomason.bsky.social
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RFK EATS SHAR PEIS WHAT ELSE DO I HAVE TO SAY
1 replies 1 reposts 15 likes
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Sean Thomason
@seanthomason.bsky.social
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America is [redacted] but my doctor finally cleared me to eat like an American again and who am I to defy medicine.
3 replies 0 reposts 30 likes
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Sean Thomason
@seanthomason.bsky.social
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Well, all I was saying is I see too many smug people chastising Bernie people for a loss that was much more complicated than that. Laying blame for 2016 isn't helping us in 2024
1 replies 0 reposts 2 likes
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Sean Thomason
@seanthomason.bsky.social
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I am not this scapegoat you've imagined. I wanted Bernie but voted for Hillary in the general, gave to her campaign and advocated online. I was very disappointed she lost, and disappointed by our media. I think there are a lot more people like me than this person you made up.
4 replies 0 reposts 21 likes
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Sean Thomason
@seanthomason.bsky.social
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So tired of the smug "Hillary saw all this coming" stuff. We knew it was coming! We knew Trump was bad! That's why we wanted her to beat him!
2 replies 0 reposts 21 likes
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Sean Thomason
@seanthomason.bsky.social
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Side by side on my shelf, two kings
0 replies 0 reposts 2 likes
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Sean Thomason
@seanthomason.bsky.social
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I just finished reading the Complete Eightball, not sure if anything's ever been better
1 replies 1 reposts 5 likes
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Sean Thomason
@seanthomason.bsky.social
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I think if I were debating Trump. after everything he said I'd just look at him and go "Are you okay? You look bad. You look really bad. Honestly, you look gross" and see where things went.
6 replies 9 reposts 120 likes
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nattie winters
@utilitylimb.bsky.social
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sometimes i see people quote dunking mean replies they get. my question is: why are you reading posts you didn't write?
3 replies 4 reposts 68 likes
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Sean Thomason
@seanthomason.bsky.social
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I tell the grocery cashier “I forgot to bring my bags” with the shame of a Catholic schoolboy at confession.
0 replies 0 reposts 5 likes
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Sean Thomason
@seanthomason.bsky.social
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I understand people fantasizing about ways to save democracy as a way to cope. According to my research, all the Democrats need to do is recover the fabled Lightstone from the deep sea caves beneath Alteron, land of mists.
0 replies 2 reposts 26 likes
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Sean Thomason
@seanthomason.bsky.social
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Running my box fan on "low" so the tech lords have the power they need to take away everything good about the world. It's the least I can do.
0 replies 3 reposts 45 likes
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Sean Thomason
@seanthomason.bsky.social
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It’s a creepy new twist we don’t need!
1 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Sean Thomason
@seanthomason.bsky.social
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The same people who complain about learning gender pronouns are saddling us with phrases like “boy mom” and “girl dad.”
1 replies 7 reposts 29 likes
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Sean Thomason
@seanthomason.bsky.social
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Saw a father & daughter puff piece on ABC news and the anchor used the phrase “girl dad.” That shit’s fuckin nauseating.
1 replies 0 reposts 13 likes
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lanyardigan
@lanyardigan.bsky.social
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(Kermit) why are there so many Shows about murder
7 replies 53 reposts 248 likes
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Sean Thomason
@seanthomason.bsky.social
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Big corporate media got us into this mess and they won’t get us out. I’m not sure what will. Maybe hammers?
2 replies 1 reposts 13 likes
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Sean Thomason
@seanthomason.bsky.social
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I'll also accept "Um. Not. Normal." "Mommy no likey" "Dumpster fire much?" "upside down smiley emoji"
5 replies 0 reposts 11 likes
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Sean Thomason
@seanthomason.bsky.social
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Hi it's me, I can't understand a political news story unless someone quote tweets it with a cute phrase like "This seems bad."
2 replies 1 reposts 16 likes
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Sean Thomason
@seanthomason.bsky.social
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Oof, you're right
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Sean Thomason
@seanthomason.bsky.social
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We talk about "main character syndrome" but I'm starting to worry Trump really is the main character and we live in a hacky satirical novel.
3 replies 1 reposts 11 likes
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Sean Thomason
@seanthomason.bsky.social
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It’s good to eat alone at restaurants sometimes. You catch things you would’ve missed.
0 replies 0 reposts 4 likes
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Sean Thomason
@seanthomason.bsky.social
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Treating myself to my first restaurant food in weeks (tuna on white bread) and the cafe has played nothing but RHCP since I got here. The universe is a cruel place, bidda bing bong.
1 replies 0 reposts 12 likes
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Sean Thomason
@seanthomason.bsky.social
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The president is above the law. Oceans are now battlefields.
0 replies 0 reposts 12 likes
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Sean Thomason
@seanthomason.bsky.social
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Also the Joker is famously considered pretty cool. And who is Batman here. The president is a butler? It's not exactly inspiring under scrutiny
0 replies 0 reposts 2 likes
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Sean Thomason
@seanthomason.bsky.social
[ View ] |
The whole idea of the Supreme Court feels like wizard council shit, and even though I’m very much on the record as loving wizard council shit, I’m not sure it’s the best way to run a country.
0 replies 8 reposts 44 likes
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Sean Thomason
@seanthomason.bsky.social
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Oh my god amazing, the streaming app is letting me choose my own ad experience. Three options. They don’t do this for just anybody.
2 replies 3 reposts 55 likes
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Sean Thomason
@seanthomason.bsky.social
[ View ] |
When one of my friends with kids posts on instagram like “we had such a fun time going to Tanner’s 3rd birthday party this morning!!” I can’t help but whisper “no you didn’t”
4 replies 3 reposts 52 likes
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Sean Thomason
@seanthomason.bsky.social
[ View ] |
Maybe all the candidates should withdraw from the race and leave us alone.
0 replies 6 reposts 31 likes