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dr jeb@drjeb.bsky.social |
234 followers 200 following 117 posts
he/him, musician maybe? from portland, OR, not a good poster!
drjeb.bandcamp.com/album/all-done-my-music-vol-1
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dr jeb
@drjeb.bsky.social
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i know things are pretty bad right now but if you spend $1500 in lin manuel miranda's merch shop, you can get a free autographed funko pop. hope this helps
0 replies 0 reposts 5 likes
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dr jeb
@drjeb.bsky.social
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well, there goes the neighborhood (giant spider setting up a fake google storefront in order to lure in babies to eat their delicious feet)
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dr jeb
@drjeb.bsky.social
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I am enjoying the stream and I am NOT on the toilet
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dr jeb
@drjeb.bsky.social
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(morpheus voice) you really think those are aspersions you're casting?
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dr jeb
@drjeb.bsky.social
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listening to a podcast and something sparks an idea for a joke and you think "i should tweet that" but then the podcaster has the same single brain cell you do and makes the same joke you were about to make
0 replies 0 reposts 4 likes
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dr jeb
@drjeb.bsky.social
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0 replies 1 reposts 11 likes
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dr jeb
@drjeb.bsky.social
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these boys are cookin š³ and i'm here with the juice š§
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dr jeb
@drjeb.bsky.social
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on a stage in front of hundreds, doing one of those marvel-style timelines revealing whatās coming up, except I work for kroger and itās the plan for what weāre gonna lock up behind glass next. FALL 2024: Flour and Sugar SPRING 2025: All the drink fridges in the checkout aisles standing ovation
0 replies 0 reposts 4 likes
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dr jeb
@drjeb.bsky.social
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0 replies 0 reposts 6 likes
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dr jeb
@drjeb.bsky.social
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you really think thatās air youāre breathing? itās microplastics. you think thatās soup youāre eating? nope, microplastics. you think thatās piss comin out of you? microplstics
0 replies 0 reposts 2 likes
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dr jeb
@drjeb.bsky.social
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my tesla robot is at home watching my kid, shoving him into the dishwasher. iām in the back seat of my self-driving car, doing 50 down a residential street. i have so much free time to post, and iāve never been worse at it
0 replies 4 reposts 16 likes
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dr jeb
@drjeb.bsky.social
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itās prophetic that elon called his AI āgrokā because thatās the last sound he will make when his heart explodes from doing too much HGH
0 replies 0 reposts 2 likes
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dr jeb
@drjeb.bsky.social
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it's a good day to revisit my gollum cowboy ballad that I made almost a year ago (of which the third verse was joking about how these guys were doomed to play gollum for the rest of their lives) youtu.be/ShXIUbzlvdc
0 replies 0 reposts 8 likes
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dr jeb
@drjeb.bsky.social
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friendly reminder to keep your pets hydrated in the coming hot summer months!
0 replies 0 reposts 7 likes
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dr jeb
@drjeb.bsky.social
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leta foooo
1 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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dr jeb
@drjeb.bsky.social
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every dollar goes right back into the channel to keep making the great content you love
0 replies 0 reposts 4 likes
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dr jeb
@drjeb.bsky.social
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moving into the woods, going kaczynski mode because josh gad told me to pre-order a package of oreos
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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dr jeb
@drjeb.bsky.social
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0 replies 0 reposts 7 likes
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dr jeb
@drjeb.bsky.social
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cinnabon's loyalty program should be called cinnaphiles
1 replies 0 reposts 7 likes
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dr jeb
@drjeb.bsky.social
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why they call it a toylet if they donāt want you to play with it
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dr jeb
@drjeb.bsky.social
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hello, i recorded an update of a classic protest song i love. this is an update on Phil Ochs' "I Ain't Marching Anymore" but about how it sucks to be told that in order to save this country we have to vote for the guy who is doing and promising us nothing
youtu.be/__iyRq4UBSY
0 replies 0 reposts 2 likes
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dr jeb
@drjeb.bsky.social
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its nice that even though we know no punishment will come from this, he's too stupid to know that and its getting to him
1 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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dr jeb
@drjeb.bsky.social
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its the one year anniversary of trump saying ācovfefeā and today a jusge said ā covguiltyā!! (sorry I wouldāve got this up earlier but I was in line at the gun store, getting ready to break president trump out of the gulag )
2 replies 1 reposts 6 likes
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dr jeb
@drjeb.bsky.social
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it's been 3 months since Bob from Bob's Red Mill died, and I really hope someone is looking into this
0 replies 2 reposts 17 likes
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dr jeb
@drjeb.bsky.social
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PRO TIP: when you first boot up your Neuralink implant, maxing out your Intelligence slider will be tempting, but be warned! Doing that has made me regret spending $100,000 on my cybertruck
0 replies 0 reposts 4 likes
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dr jeb
@drjeb.bsky.social
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I donāt want to fuck a mocha-matcha-frappe-ccino, I want to fuck a coffee!!
0 replies 1 reposts 5 likes
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dr jeb
@drjeb.bsky.social
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thereās always music in the air
0 replies 1 reposts 6 likes
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dr jeb
@drjeb.bsky.social
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holiday weekend plans, who's in
0 replies 0 reposts 6 likes
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dr jeb
@drjeb.bsky.social
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A brain worm I've had recently is taking songs I like and replacing the words with filth from the horny letters James Joyce wrote to his wife Nora. This is "John Wayne Gacy, Jr." by Sufjan Stevens. I have a lot more of these that i'll be posting, sorry
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dr jeb
@drjeb.bsky.social
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exactly what I thought, why did I even need to google it,
0 replies 0 reposts 9 likes
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dr jeb
@drjeb.bsky.social
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don't understand how you can deny evolution when you examine how similar our hands are
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BayBayFriend
@baybayfriend.bsky.social
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Oh yeah I forgot I found out what the featureless infographic guys look like from the back
7 replies 11 reposts 103 likes
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dr jeb
@drjeb.bsky.social
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āWhatās the deal with toilet paper? Iām not using it to wipe the toilet, Iām using it to wipe my ass!ā -jerry seinfeld
0 replies 0 reposts 4 likes
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dr jeb
@drjeb.bsky.social
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if you're in SharePoint in your browser and hit "Copy Link" it automatically copies it your clipboard, but if you're in the files tab in Teams it opens a window and you have to click an extra button to actually copy the link, so anyway I hope my coworker enjoyed being DMd the lyrics to Big Iron
1 replies 0 reposts 5 likes
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dr jeb
@drjeb.bsky.social
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me at breakfast time
0 replies 0 reposts 6 likes
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dr jeb
@drjeb.bsky.social
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great post, looks like it probably took 2 minutes to write
0 replies 0 reposts 18 likes
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dr jeb
@drjeb.bsky.social
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what the hell
0 replies 1 reposts 6 likes
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dr jeb
@drjeb.bsky.social
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remembering when we got our house and hired a company called Clean Freaks because it was a huge mess and the owner nonchalantly referred to her staff as āfreaksā
0 replies 1 reposts 18 likes
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dr jeb
@drjeb.bsky.social
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sick of hearing about the trees that smell like cum. old news. tell me when thereās a tree that smells like something cool like mtn dew or piss
0 replies 0 reposts 3 likes
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dr jeb
@drjeb.bsky.social
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i can stand in the way and block something, and i can do it for a hell of a lot longer than 4 minutes 27 seconds
1 replies 0 reposts 4 likes
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dr jeb
@drjeb.bsky.social
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i'm thinking about how Hiro rented a Nissan Versa, because the comic said he would rent a Nissan Versa. there are those guys who can look at a car and be like "ooh that's a 1967 chevy camaro" but the only car i have in my head is the Nissan Versa
1 replies 0 reposts 4 likes
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dr jeb
@drjeb.bsky.social
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did you have to bite my finger did you have to did you have to charlie did you have to bite my finger -dr jeb, 2024
1 replies 0 reposts 9 likes
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dr jeb
@drjeb.bsky.social
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feel like pure shit just want her back :(
0 replies 0 reposts 10 likes
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dr jeb
@drjeb.bsky.social
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Iām not mad at the doorknob, itās a great looking doorknob
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dr jeb
@drjeb.bsky.social
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unfortunately the megamind poster is out of stock at bed bath & beyond, Iām inconsolable
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dr jeb
@drjeb.bsky.social
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doing a google image search for the megamind poster and it's pulling up bed bath & beyond pages for doorknobs? everything is Going Great at google! (footnote I am not trying to buy a megamind poster, I just wanted to look at the dreamworks face)
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dr jeb
@drjeb.bsky.social
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Glasses of RosƩ Make You Strong
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dr jeb
@drjeb.bsky.social
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wow š¤Æ www.cnn.com/2022/03/27/e...
0 replies 0 reposts 8 likes