Pondering whether I'll be a dissident or refugee. Plusses and minuses to both: I like the romance of being a dissident, but the risks are mighty risky!
I like the life-preserving aspect of fleeing, but I fear the isolation and culture shock of leaving the only place I've ever lived.
The whole leaving the only place you've ever lived thing doesn't really hurt if you've always fucking hated it there since you were twelve but apparently that's not a universal experience.
I decided recently, while I have the means to flee, most of the friends I have are disabled trans people, and they absolutely couldn't leave. I'm going to go down fighting to protect the people I love.