The Lady Halibut

Surprised Eel Historian, PhD @greenleejw.bsky.social [ View ] Jul 01, 2024 at 01:02 UTC

I've written a ballad about the experience, because such an event requires original doggerel.

9 replies 9 reposts 77 likes

The Lady Halibut @halibut.bsky.social [ View ] Jul 01, 2024 at 01:27 UTC

Oh it’s not just me.

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The Lady Halibut @halibut.bsky.social [ View ] Jul 01, 2024 at 01:26 UTC

Does this mean I can look forward to popcorn-flavoured sparkling water?

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The Lady Halibut @halibut.bsky.social [ View ] Jun 30, 2024 at 21:47 UTC

I used to live kitty corner to this place. Just reminded me.

1 replies 1 reposts 13 likes

The Lady Halibut @halibut.bsky.social [ View ] Jun 30, 2024 at 21:42 UTC

One Devon meat envelope and one jam clag please. Cream first on the clag.

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The Lady Halibut @halibut.bsky.social [ View ] Jun 30, 2024 at 21:40 UTC

It’s so weird to me that there are people who don’t get anxious until later. Like nothing was bothering you this whole time? Weirdos.

0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes

The Lady Halibut @halibut.bsky.social [ View ] Jun 30, 2024 at 03:41 UTC

So on Monday my whole family is leaving to go camping for a week without me. What should I do? I can’t do any good exercise or too much major cleaning because I don’t want too much pressure in my eyeballs. See how many books I can read?

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The Lady Halibut @halibut.bsky.social [ View ] Jun 30, 2024 at 03:06 UTC

My husband was just out with a work colleague carnivore and he’s just sitting there eating a huge steak, but then he was also guzzling bourbon and my husband is like “uhhh…there’s sugar in that” and he goes “nah”. Hashtag colon health.

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The Lady Halibut @halibut.bsky.social [ View ] Jun 30, 2024 at 03:01 UTC

They are obviously on a carnivore diet.

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The Lady Halibut @halibut.bsky.social [ View ] Jun 30, 2024 at 02:41 UTC

Oh, I see. You’d think a haver of butt chin would make note of the butt chin. So I guess delta is worse then. Got some kind of lady chin. I’m manlier than a delta.

1 replies 0 reposts 3 likes

The Lady Halibut @halibut.bsky.social [ View ] Jun 30, 2024 at 02:30 UTC

If you remove a beta’s jacket and ruffle his hair a bit, he’s a delta. Don’t know if that’s better or worse, tbh.

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The Lady Halibut @halibut.bsky.social [ View ] Jun 29, 2024 at 23:40 UTC

So many backsplashes to hate, so little time.

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The Lady Halibut @halibut.bsky.social [ View ] Jun 29, 2024 at 20:18 UTC

These things are covered in fat bees, they just grow on their own with zero maintenance, and they smell fantastic. What’s not to like?

0 replies 0 reposts 4 likes

The Lady Halibut @halibut.bsky.social [ View ] Jun 29, 2024 at 20:11 UTC

I have no green thumb and I’m never home for enough of the summer to do much gardening. But my whole yard looks like this for free because this is what nature provides, and I’m good with that.

1 replies 0 reposts 13 likes

The Lady Halibut @halibut.bsky.social [ View ] Jun 29, 2024 at 18:45 UTC

I know what you were watching in the latter half of the 90s.

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The Lady Halibut @halibut.bsky.social [ View ] Jun 29, 2024 at 18:37 UTC

Seems like bare minimum stuff. Gotta at least give me the opportunity to shout “horsey!”. Just pretend the only Mountie that exists is this one and then it’s fine.

2 replies 0 reposts 6 likes

The Lady Halibut @halibut.bsky.social [ View ] Jun 29, 2024 at 18:32 UTC

That dumbass who ran out in front of me on the highway to pull someone over and then got mad at me because I slowed down too much has a red coat and funny hat and pants in his closet at home. Dude wasn’t even on a horse.

1 replies 0 reposts 5 likes

The Lady Halibut @halibut.bsky.social [ View ] Jun 29, 2024 at 18:28 UTC

The thing is, they usually just dress like regular cops and do all the regular cop stuff.

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The Lady Halibut @halibut.bsky.social [ View ] Jun 29, 2024 at 18:23 UTC

So like, acab unless they are in that particular outfit?

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The Lady Halibut @halibut.bsky.social [ View ] Jun 29, 2024 at 18:21 UTC

gasp

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The Lady Halibut @halibut.bsky.social [ View ] Jun 29, 2024 at 17:37 UTC

I did, but I read these ones we had from the (19)20s because they were funny. I assume my dad must have them now. Maybe he’ll let me have them for my kids. Must ask.

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The Lady Halibut @halibut.bsky.social [ View ] Jun 29, 2024 at 00:58 UTC

Got a new cat?

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The Lady Halibut @halibut.bsky.social [ View ] Jun 29, 2024 at 00:36 UTC

I’m surprised we can even understand each other.

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The Lady Halibut @halibut.bsky.social [ View ] Jun 29, 2024 at 00:34 UTC

Idk. I’ll ask. I’m Spokanese.

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The Lady Halibut @halibut.bsky.social [ View ] Jun 29, 2024 at 00:29 UTC

I think Leif has been there a fair bit. He’s pretty important, so.

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The Lady Halibut @halibut.bsky.social [ View ] Jun 29, 2024 at 00:19 UTC

Idk I never did it and never expected it of anyone else. 🤷‍♀️

1 replies 0 reposts 0 likes

The Lady Halibut @halibut.bsky.social [ View ] Jun 28, 2024 at 18:53 UTC

The way I wanted to be on that stage and absolutely destroy Trump in that moment.

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The Lady Halibut @halibut.bsky.social [ View ] Jun 28, 2024 at 18:18 UTC

Praying. 🙏

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The Lady Halibut @halibut.bsky.social [ View ] Jun 28, 2024 at 18:00 UTC

Hello. Mostly.

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The Lady Halibut @halibut.bsky.social [ View ] Jun 28, 2024 at 17:44 UTC

Days 5 and 12 with new eyes and I’m getting freaked out when I look in a mirror because there is so much depth. Everything is more 3D than before. It’s weird as hell.

1 replies 0 reposts 5 likes

The Lady Halibut @halibut.bsky.social [ View ] Jun 28, 2024 at 16:48 UTC

She’ll just reply and it’s like omg I’m basically best friends with Bebe Fucking Neuwirth.

1 replies 0 reposts 1 likes

The Lady Halibut @halibut.bsky.social [ View ] Jun 28, 2024 at 03:02 UTC

Shit. ☹️

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The Lady Halibut @halibut.bsky.social [ View ] Jun 28, 2024 at 02:58 UTC

41 and 42 and the cashier at Costco told my husband he had to be gentle with the debit machine - “don’t just ram it in there” - and we both started chortling like Beavis and Butthead. Distinguished.

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The Lady Halibut @halibut.bsky.social [ View ] Jun 28, 2024 at 02:56 UTC

35yo me, just counting down the days until my husband is mature enough to join me at a restaurant.

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The Lady Halibut @halibut.bsky.social [ View ] Jun 28, 2024 at 02:50 UTC

This is so deeply weird.

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The Lady Halibut @halibut.bsky.social [ View ] Jun 28, 2024 at 02:37 UTC

Truly the dream.

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The Lady Halibut @halibut.bsky.social [ View ] Jun 28, 2024 at 02:33 UTC

I think he’s been pumped full of so much filler that he has to sleep with his eyes open.

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The Lady Halibut @halibut.bsky.social [ View ] Jun 28, 2024 at 02:31 UTC

Because you are stronger than the rest of us.

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The Lady Halibut @halibut.bsky.social [ View ] Jun 28, 2024 at 02:28 UTC

Almost died of secondhand embarrassment. Just about cringed to death.

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The Lady Halibut @halibut.bsky.social [ View ] Jun 28, 2024 at 02:25 UTC

WHY AM I DOING THIS TO MYSELF

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The Lady Halibut @halibut.bsky.social [ View ] Jun 28, 2024 at 02:24 UTC

NOBODY CARES ABOUT GOLF

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