Million dollar idea: instead of going on dates with real people, I create two alter egos (named Pamela Obscura and Rick Different) and use them to piña colada song myself
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I’ve used a reformer a few times and I don’t recall it even coming close to ripping me apart!
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“An uncharitable view”
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That’s probably true. And the rack might be in a nice cool basement dungeon! I’m only thinking about any of this because it’s uncomfortably hot in my house
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Sometimes it also feels like every negative has its downside. It’s a lot to carry
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Hugh “Wet Questions” Jacuzzi, Whom I HATE, Upon Learning You Got A New Laptop
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I think the beginning of being drawn and quartered would feel really good. Nice stretch, plus if it’s hot then none of your body parts are touching each other. But then your body parts start REALLY not touching each other, and that’s less appealing. Probably not worth it
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I am not ashamed to admit I’ve googled “how to seem available but only to people I like” - unfortunately my search yielded nothing
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Thank you, they’re real people and I’m both of them
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Million dollar idea: instead of going on dates with real people, I create two alter egos (named Pamela Obscura and Rick Different) and use them to piña colada song myself
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Anime hot girl weapon
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Sorry I can’t go hiking today, I pulled my hog cord pretty bad
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Skilled Babes Ranch here we come!
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Oops forgot to copy/paste the text. Guess this curse ends with me
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I have a really bad headache, so I’m following traditional methods of pain management - watching a review/buyers guide of drum machines on YouTube hosted by an Australian guy called Dr. Honeysmack
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Handyman, farmer, personal assistant, massage therapist
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Yeah my life is also a lot of staring at the computer and saying “wait what?” and then having stress dreams for the rest of my life. Paperwork/admin is a skill, there’s no moral failing in being bad at it! But wow it makes being alive so much harder and more annoying
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Muddling through divorce paperwork without a lawyer made me feel stupider than any other administrative process I’ve encountered. I would read directions and feel I was getting it, then at the end of a page realize I had no idea what to do
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Song by Van Sleighlen
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God a reality show of women trying to actually marry Santa Claus…..I will keep dreaming of this
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Or sequel about Santa moving on from the late Mrs Claus
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Kringle And Ready 2 Mingle (the second prequel)
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I’m actually built to eat fruit and not know how anything works
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Tfw your joke makes your buddy piss his pants
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Hugh on your own supplu
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Idea: what if human mothers could choose to have a litter rather than one baby? I don’t mean standard multiple births, more of a cake batter into a muffin tin situation. Six mini-babies with equal mass to one regular one. Just an idea!!!
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I painted a painting
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Oof I LOVED it. The little dude in the flower?? Come on
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Songs I specifically remember downloading on Napster:
-Popular by Nada Surf
-Ruby SoHo by Rancid
-Rock and Roll McDonald’s by Wesley Willis
-Blister in the Sun by Violent Femmes
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Reposted by KatieTwoHands
P.F. Chang’s stands for Pretty Fuckin’ Chang’s
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Sacred geometry (sharpen your pencil / dull your mind)
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Yeah that’s not a bad move! They really are all good, they get a little more produced as they go - some people don’t like that but I think he’s great with just a guitar or with tons of other instrumentation and overdubs and stuff
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Yeah I don’t find it to be depressing! I mean, sometimes you can tell that he is depressed, but listening to it never makes me sad. I’ve been a big fan since high school and I’m always excited when people get into him
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Hell yeah brother
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I Will Protect What You Value, And Then You Will Throw Me In The Trash
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Manny Jacinto shouldn’t be allowed to look like that
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It’s me, the famous Get Well Galadriel
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Yes…..YES! My wishes grow ever more powerful
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I hope you feel better (and cooler) soon!
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Vampire on holiday sipping blood out of a coconut shell
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Pretty good start to a day honestly
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I watched Demolition Man on Tubi this morning!
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My mom would get on my dad’s case for not using blinkers when changing lanes while driving and he would say it was okay because he’s “got his fingers on the pulse of the road”
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Wearing tiny shorts and a big long sleeved t-shirt: is there anything better? Not really!
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One time my dad described a guy he had professional beef with as a “rat fink painted lady” and I think it’s the meanest thing I’ve ever heard him say
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Still kind of in it but maybe yeah
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Wish I’d spelled it “bennifertial”. Live and learn I guess
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Looks like one of my old tweets might make sense again
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