The Deuce Deducer's avatar

The Deuce Deducer

@marchanddcitron.bsky.social

66 followers 60 following 3388 posts

Is it poop? I am the one who will say if it is poop.

The Deuce Deducer's avatar The Deuce Deducer @marchanddcitron.bsky.social
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He wants to, but he only wins enough at scratch-off to get a couple more scratch-offs.

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niteynite's avatar niteynite @niteynite.bsky.social
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Doctor: have you always suffered from anxiety? Me: no, just since I realized the way things are

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The Deuce Deducer's avatar The Deuce Deducer @marchanddcitron.bsky.social
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The joke, of course, is that cloaca is literally Latin for waste trench.

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The Deuce Deducer's avatar The Deuce Deducer @marchanddcitron.bsky.social
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Why'd they call it a cloaca when dinosewer was right there?

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The Deuce Deducer's avatar The Deuce Deducer @marchanddcitron.bsky.social
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Spiralling until they get dizzy and tumble right into the fryer.

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The Deuce Deducer's avatar The Deuce Deducer @marchanddcitron.bsky.social
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Q: what kind of trumpet did Louis Armstrong play? A: a super dooty

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The Deuce Deducer's avatar The Deuce Deducer @marchanddcitron.bsky.social
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Bangin' synthwave jingle playing in this CNN ad break for blood diamonds.

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The Deuce Deducer's avatar The Deuce Deducer @marchanddcitron.bsky.social
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Using all my Bitcoin earnings to get Hawk Tuah Girl to spit in my Gamer Girl bathwater.

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The Deuce Deducer's avatar The Deuce Deducer @marchanddcitron.bsky.social
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Got a serious nostalgia rush for Windows7 watching the wardens of Maine look stuff up on their toughbooks from old 2016 episodes of North Woods Law.

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The Deuce Deducer's avatar The Deuce Deducer @marchanddcitron.bsky.social
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When I farted in the rumpus room all my friends were aghast.

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The Deuce Deducer's avatar The Deuce Deducer @marchanddcitron.bsky.social
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Fat Lenny's gonna lick the slack off the windowsill (Oh, Fat Lenny!)

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The Deuce Deducer's avatar The Deuce Deducer @marchanddcitron.bsky.social
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Trump making a show of calling out the crackpot policies of Project 2025 isn't just Orwellian. It's like if Terry Gilliam remade 1984, which, now that I think about it would be awesome, as long as we could just watch it and not have to live it.

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The Deuce Deducer's avatar The Deuce Deducer @marchanddcitron.bsky.social
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Imagine a cool, dry pillow. What must that be like?

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The Deuce Deducer's avatar The Deuce Deducer @marchanddcitron.bsky.social
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My connector for coax is In some b-roll shots of wires up on telephone poles.

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The Deuce Deducer's avatar The Deuce Deducer @marchanddcitron.bsky.social
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No doubt he thinks he'd be the adult in the room.

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The Deuce Deducer's avatar The Deuce Deducer @marchanddcitron.bsky.social
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It's interesting that JD Vance went from exploiting the suffering of the country poor with his book, to exploiting the suffering of the country poor as a Senator with his belly up to the trough, and may go on to exploit the suffering of the country poor as Lieutenant to Generalissimo Egoísta.

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Frovo's avatar Frovo @frovo.bsky.social
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me: i hope this email finds you good boss: well me: well what boss: well did the email find them good

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The Deuce Deducer's avatar The Deuce Deducer @marchanddcitron.bsky.social
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It's being held until it gives up the password for Hunter Biden's laptop.

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The Deuce Deducer's avatar The Deuce Deducer @marchanddcitron.bsky.social
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If I were Dark Brandon I would simply have everyone at the Heritage Foundation investigated for money laundering, campaign finance violations and tax evasion as my official duty.

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The Deuce Deducer's avatar The Deuce Deducer @marchanddcitron.bsky.social
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Maybe, if you're lucky, you'll get to hear the moo, moo, trample, trample, scream, scream of cows getting out on the golf course.

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The Deuce Deducer's avatar The Deuce Deducer @marchanddcitron.bsky.social
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"Fifty Different Perspectives On How President Biden Is A Total Shit Show, One Quick Mention Normalizing Regular Down To Business Guy Trump"

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The Deuce Deducer's avatar The Deuce Deducer @marchanddcitron.bsky.social
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The problem with media coverage of our only choices in a nutshell:

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Reposted by The Deuce Deducer

Frovo's avatar Frovo @frovo.bsky.social
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ME: i can’t drink this it’s expired WIFE: it’s just natural spring water ME: it’s summer now carol

3 replies 19 reposts 112 likes

The Deuce Deducer's avatar The Deuce Deducer @marchanddcitron.bsky.social
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"Those guys that have been funding my campaign and coordinating my super PACS and handing me lists of people to appoint and talking points to win with and have been running the GOP since before Reagan?
They don't call the shots. I call the shots."
www.washingtonpost.com/politics/202...

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The Deuce Deducer's avatar The Deuce Deducer @marchanddcitron.bsky.social
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He's following a play cribbed from an eleventh grade history textbook, and we're acting like we don't believe we see it coming.

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The Deuce Deducer's avatar The Deuce Deducer @marchanddcitron.bsky.social
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So Trymp's back room cabinet has openly declared they're going to turn the government inside out as soon as he gets his second term and that's basically donesville for everything good about America so far, and yet nobody is reacting like maybe it's time there was a plan to stop it.

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The Deuce Deducer's avatar The Deuce Deducer @marchanddcitron.bsky.social
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My Mandela effect, apparently, is thinking the Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders were called the Dallas Cowgirls my entire life.

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The Deuce Deducer's avatar The Deuce Deducer @marchanddcitron.bsky.social
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Dune 2: Still No Pulsating Butthole 3rd Stage Guild Navigator Mouth

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The Deuce Deducer's avatar The Deuce Deducer @marchanddcitron.bsky.social
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I always assumed French vanilla tasted vaguely of cigarettes.

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The Deuce Deducer's avatar The Deuce Deducer @marchanddcitron.bsky.social
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Tinnitus isn't all bad. For instance, whenever Panic! At The Disco High Hopes comes on the radio at Golden Carl, I can barely hear it.

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The Deuce Deducer's avatar The Deuce Deducer @marchanddcitron.bsky.social
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Guy who sets off one mortar at 09:17 July 5th, what even?

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The Deuce Deducer's avatar The Deuce Deducer @marchanddcitron.bsky.social
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It feels like if you're paying $25 for an entree the service and the quality should be more consistently good than at McDonald's, and yet...

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The Deuce Deducer's avatar The Deuce Deducer @marchanddcitron.bsky.social
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The only thing crazier than numbers on paper notes pretending to be worth anything at all is numbers on a networked computer pretending to be worth anything at all.

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