Mr. Fasthorse

Julian Sanchez @normative.bsky.social [ View ] Jul 03, 2024 at 23:56 UTC

This is your annual advance reminder that you will never look at a photograph or video of fireworks again, nor will it be of any real interest to your social media contacts. Just look with your own gelatinous human eyes.

11 replies 43 reposts 269 likes

Mr. Fasthorse @mrfasthorse.bsky.social [ View ] Jul 03, 2024 at 22:24 UTC

1 replies 0 reposts 15 likes

Mr. Fasthorse @mrfasthorse.bsky.social [ View ] Jul 03, 2024 at 04:37 UTC

Beato

0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes

Mr. Fasthorse @mrfasthorse.bsky.social [ View ] Jul 01, 2024 at 22:24 UTC

I'm pleased to announce, because our scientists are the best in the world, and I mean that. folks, that through our technology and American ingenuity, we have acquired both 100 duck-sized horses AND 1 horse-sized duck. Here we go.

0 replies 0 reposts 5 likes

Mr. Fasthorse @mrfasthorse.bsky.social [ View ] Jul 01, 2024 at 16:20 UTC

The next sequel will be Oceans 2

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Mr. Fasthorse @mrfasthorse.bsky.social [ View ] Jul 01, 2024 at 14:54 UTC

In high school marching band, I wanted to be a section leader. The director called me called me into her office and asked if I would quit if I didn't get it. I said no. She said "well, X said she would, and I need the numbers, so I'm giving it to her." And that's the same dynamic we see from the GOP

0 replies 2 reposts 4 likes

Mr. Fasthorse @mrfasthorse.bsky.social [ View ] Jun 28, 2024 at 04:34 UTC

Then, Big Utah Teapot

0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes

Mr. Fasthorse @mrfasthorse.bsky.social [ View ] Jun 25, 2024 at 05:30 UTC

Detective: Looks like this man was stabbed with a hunting knife Me, looking suspicious: Like, the really cheap kind, right?

1 replies 0 reposts 5 likes

Mr. Fasthorse @mrfasthorse.bsky.social [ View ] Jun 24, 2024 at 13:17 UTC

Something's wrong, I got charged for 55 burgers 55 fries 55 tacos 55 pies 55 cokes 100 tater tots 100 pizzas 100 tenders 100 meatballs 100 coffees 55 wings 55 shakes 55 pancakes 55 pastas 55 peppers and 155 taters

1 replies 1 reposts 16 likes

Mr. Fasthorse @mrfasthorse.bsky.social [ View ] Jun 23, 2024 at 03:13 UTC

Wait I thought cybertrukkks were mobile Bitcoin farms, given the battery drain most are experiencing

0 replies 0 reposts 3 likes

Mr. Fasthorse @mrfasthorse.bsky.social [ View ] Jun 22, 2024 at 21:04 UTC

I, too, will not be competing in the Olympics, even if I qualify, because United stranded me at JFK in 2009

0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes

Mr. Fasthorse @mrfasthorse.bsky.social [ View ] Jun 22, 2024 at 14:12 UTC

Guinea has a chance to do the funniest thing ever

0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes

Mr. Fasthorse @mrfasthorse.bsky.social [ View ] Jun 20, 2024 at 04:22 UTC

You know that cringey Aaron Sorkin Newsroom clip where people on a plane find out about Bin Laden's death? That literally happened to me in 2011. Now every time I fly I wonder what crazy news I'll see when I land

0 replies 0 reposts 2 likes

Mr. Fasthorse @mrfasthorse.bsky.social [ View ] Jun 19, 2024 at 04:34 UTC

A toilet!

0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes

Mr. Fasthorse @mrfasthorse.bsky.social [ View ] Jun 19, 2024 at 03:31 UTC

Deep cut

0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes

Mr. Fasthorse @mrfasthorse.bsky.social [ View ] Jun 16, 2024 at 01:23 UTC

Successfully avoided

0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes

Mr. Fasthorse @mrfasthorse.bsky.social [ View ] Jun 15, 2024 at 21:54 UTC

Getting my Alf costume ready

0 replies 0 reposts 5 likes

Mr. Fasthorse @mrfasthorse.bsky.social [ View ] Jun 15, 2024 at 05:30 UTC

He thinks you have crawdads, don't engage

0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes

Mr. Fasthorse @mrfasthorse.bsky.social [ View ] Jun 13, 2024 at 03:39 UTC

you misspelled Silverchair. You miss 90's Australian band Silverchair so badly.

0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes

Mr. Fasthorse @mrfasthorse.bsky.social [ View ] Jun 12, 2024 at 17:48 UTC

@jonkimball.bsky.social Election Profit Makers bad boy of the week?

0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes

Mr. Fasthorse @mrfasthorse.bsky.social [ View ] Jun 12, 2024 at 16:56 UTC

It's still early

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Mr. Fasthorse @mrfasthorse.bsky.social [ View ] Jun 12, 2024 at 02:33 UTC

Makes me SAD

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Mr. Fasthorse @mrfasthorse.bsky.social [ View ] Jun 11, 2024 at 22:32 UTC

Minor Payne

0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes

Mr. Fasthorse @mrfasthorse.bsky.social [ View ] Jun 11, 2024 at 15:33 UTC

it was foretold www.aiweirdness.com/ai-recipes-a...

0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes

Mr. Fasthorse @mrfasthorse.bsky.social [ View ] Jun 10, 2024 at 20:16 UTC

"we set the scene - an extremely mid college graduation party. The graduate is handed a wrapped present..."

0 replies 0 reposts 2 likes

Mr. Fasthorse @mrfasthorse.bsky.social [ View ] Jun 08, 2024 at 22:34 UTC

Hell be sentenced to 35 meat pies

0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes

Mr. Fasthorse @mrfasthorse.bsky.social [ View ] Jun 04, 2024 at 23:36 UTC

Love Actually: Marvel Coming to theaters 2025

0 replies 1 reposts 18 likes

Mr. Fasthorse @mrfasthorse.bsky.social [ View ] Jun 01, 2024 at 08:19 UTC

Eric Budd has stories

0 replies 0 reposts 2 likes

Mr. Fasthorse @mrfasthorse.bsky.social [ View ] Jun 01, 2024 at 08:04 UTC

You know its owner is a Boulderite, right? I've met him a few times, he's wacky

1 replies 0 reposts 1 likes

Mr. Fasthorse @mrfasthorse.bsky.social [ View ] May 22, 2024 at 03:16 UTC

I forget if Major Payne is in that interview. The delta between his scripted part and the screen part is wild

0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes

Mr. Fasthorse @mrfasthorse.bsky.social [ View ] May 21, 2024 at 22:00 UTC

So like every trump press conference

0 replies 0 reposts 2 likes

Mr. Fasthorse @mrfasthorse.bsky.social [ View ] May 19, 2024 at 21:25 UTC

Consensus is that this is a universal experience, but if I had walked I'd at least have a floppy hat

0 replies 0 reposts 2 likes

Mr. Fasthorse @mrfasthorse.bsky.social [ View ] May 19, 2024 at 14:54 UTC

I defended near the beginning of the term, got a postdoc several states away, and didn't return to walk. If I _had_ walked, would my parents treat me like I'm an expert in _something_?

2 replies 0 reposts 17 likes

Mr. Fasthorse @mrfasthorse.bsky.social [ View ] May 17, 2024 at 03:56 UTC

*pats one empty seat in a room filled with all your friends* Stephen, we need to talk. That's right, about your pubes.

0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes

Mr. Fasthorse @mrfasthorse.bsky.social [ View ] May 17, 2024 at 02:20 UTC

"the reporter responded with a wanking motion"

0 replies 0 reposts 15 likes

Mr. Fasthorse @mrfasthorse.bsky.social [ View ] May 17, 2024 at 01:03 UTC

Remember Gorsuch's comments about female law students?

0 replies 1 reposts 4 likes

Mr. Fasthorse @mrfasthorse.bsky.social [ View ] May 16, 2024 at 22:04 UTC

Better than no beer at all?

0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes

Mr. Fasthorse @mrfasthorse.bsky.social [ View ] May 16, 2024 at 21:58 UTC

Trump did that with that wacko murderous navy seal

0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes

Mr. Fasthorse @mrfasthorse.bsky.social [ View ] May 16, 2024 at 21:41 UTC

Conservatism consists of exactly one proposition, to wit: There must be in-groups whom the law protects but does not bind, alongside out-groups whom the law binds but does not protect.

0 replies 1 reposts 1 likes

Mr. Fasthorse @mrfasthorse.bsky.social [ View ] May 14, 2024 at 20:36 UTC

This story has everything. Rock and roll, CD-ROMs, relativity, Michael Jackson, Jim Traficant

1 replies 0 reposts 2 likes

Mr. Fasthorse @mrfasthorse.bsky.social [ View ] May 13, 2024 at 15:44 UTC

Control+F Science

0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes

Mr. Fasthorse @mrfasthorse.bsky.social [ View ] May 11, 2024 at 01:58 UTC

The next question should be "what do you do if you can't do those things?'

0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes

Mr. Fasthorse @mrfasthorse.bsky.social [ View ] May 11, 2024 at 00:01 UTC

Good thing you're already married

1 replies 0 reposts 0 likes

Mr. Fasthorse @mrfasthorse.bsky.social [ View ] May 10, 2024 at 23:55 UTC

I hope they're not matching like-to-like, not everyone matches with their identical self. The mapping of types to types would actually be kinda interesting but is probably a trade secret

1 replies 0 reposts 1 likes

Mr. Fasthorse @mrfasthorse.bsky.social [ View ] May 10, 2024 at 18:41 UTC

It's the Evil Erdős number

0 replies 0 reposts 17 likes