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Brian
@one-underscore.bsky.social
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I am thrilled to share with my Linkedin family that I have accepted a position as a Johnny Mnemonic brain-implant data smuggler! 🧠💾😤
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Brian@one-underscore.bsky.social |
45 followers 156 following 810 posts
You can dial 206-526-6087 for weather, or 511 for traffic.
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Brian
@one-underscore.bsky.social
[ View ] |
I am thrilled to share with my Linkedin family that I have accepted a position as a Johnny Mnemonic brain-implant data smuggler! 🧠💾😤
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Brian
@one-underscore.bsky.social
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their point is still valid. it is an inappropriate name.
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Brian
@one-underscore.bsky.social
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please call it "Endfield"
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Brian
@one-underscore.bsky.social
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sorry, i only eat chef-inspired cuisine
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Brian
@one-underscore.bsky.social
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as of 2023, there's no strawberries grown there according to the USDA.
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Brian
@one-underscore.bsky.social
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play white noise to drown out fireworks noise
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Brian
@one-underscore.bsky.social
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studio albums from the 60s that are in stereo? borderline unlistenable. live albums from the 60s that are in stereo? fantastic.
0 replies 0 reposts 2 likes
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Brian
@one-underscore.bsky.social
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realtors and tourism boards do a lot of photography tricks to try to get us to think things are bigger than they are. a reliable, trustworthy photo will help out a lot of families who are picking out where to spending their hard earned cash on a summer vacation.
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Brian
@one-underscore.bsky.social
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@standalone.bsky.social could you get a photo of you next to wendover will, so we can get a sense of how big he is?
1 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Brian
@one-underscore.bsky.social
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now that judges can put out a tip jar, we know in advance how all these things will end.
0 replies 1 reposts 18 likes
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Brian
@one-underscore.bsky.social
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saw a van with a sign that said "it pays to play pull tabs" and while that is obviously not true, it really made me think about how completely benign 25 cent pull tabs are compared to the plague of sports gambling.
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Brian
@one-underscore.bsky.social
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give a man a carrot, and he'll have a healthy snack. give a man a stick, and he'll have a stick for a lifetime.
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Brian
@one-underscore.bsky.social
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all these people are out here saying "you should rotate your mattress" well i did it and i hurt my elbow, so i say you shouldn't rotate it.
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Brian
@one-underscore.bsky.social
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i've been cutting my hair using a beard trimmer (and some chip clips to get the length) for the past few years, but i recently got a regular hair clipper a while back and i'm happy with the purchase. the wider sweep and stronger motor means it faster and i wind up with fewer missed spots.
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Brian
@one-underscore.bsky.social
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will they be keeping the heroin subplot in the remake of "three men and a baby"? you'll have to watch to find out!
0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
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Brian
@one-underscore.bsky.social
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Randy Shook and The Unforgettable Tank are the midnight holler at this year's Great Outdoor Fight.
0 replies 0 reposts 5 likes
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Brian
@one-underscore.bsky.social
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my first apartment, there was a vacant ground level retail spot in the building. one day i saw some people building it out, and when i saw the manager, i asked what was going in and they said "a bail bondsman is moving in"
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Brian
@one-underscore.bsky.social
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a good use for vr would be letting people sit in sam rockwell's seat and experience what it's like to get yelled at by gene hackman in heist.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=PmYi...
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Brian
@one-underscore.bsky.social
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in "chocolat 2", juliette binoche's character turns her chocolate shop into a vape shop.
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Brian
@one-underscore.bsky.social
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saw a teriyaki shop that opened a few years ago with an "urban/upscale" branding (kind of unusual for a teriyaki shop) but has now rebranded to more "fast/cheap". kind of feels like the doors are closing on premiumization of everything, and thank god for that.
0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
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Brian
@one-underscore.bsky.social
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the most useless thing i can remember is that my high school's asb co-president saw george wendt in a west end production of "art" when he visited his studying-abroad brother in london.
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Brian
@one-underscore.bsky.social
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is Ray in Spokane so he can play in Hoopfest?!?!
1 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Brian
@one-underscore.bsky.social
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presidential fitness test version of "full metal jacket". "born to do a pull up" written in sharpie on an underdeveloped bicep.
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Brian
@one-underscore.bsky.social
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we must keep our wits about us.
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Brian
@one-underscore.bsky.social
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Brian
@one-underscore.bsky.social
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nowadays kids would rather play with a computer instead of a corn husk doll
0 replies 1 reposts 1 likes
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Brian
@one-underscore.bsky.social
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i wish there was an insurrection episode of mtv true life.
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Brian
@one-underscore.bsky.social
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i don't think it's a big deal. it's only a "partial" collapse. the half that did not collapse can still be used.
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Brian
@one-underscore.bsky.social
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i'm getting some strange readings
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Brian
@one-underscore.bsky.social
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Lynden is more dutch than Pella. www.youtube.com/watch?v=d1xY...
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Brian
@one-underscore.bsky.social
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after you leave college, if your roommate dies, instead of automatically getting straight As, you just don't have to pay taxes.
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Brian
@one-underscore.bsky.social
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i kept grounding my barge because the maximum depth is only 2.5 feet.
1 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
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Brian
@one-underscore.bsky.social
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could you go to city council meeting and ask them to stop calling this a "canal"?
1 replies 0 reposts 0 likes
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Brian
@one-underscore.bsky.social
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i bet every guy that fixes wooden horse drawn carts calls himself "dr. dray"
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Brian
@one-underscore.bsky.social
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there's only one way MLB knows how to do business, even when their PR marketing event is couch cushion money:
"The city has pledged more than $2.5 million to help with the effort."
www.washingtonpost.com/sports/2023/...
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Brian
@one-underscore.bsky.social
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internet souvenir shop. remember your trip to the internet with a t-shirt or keychain.
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Brian
@one-underscore.bsky.social
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blimpe blimpie still around blimpie coupons blimpei coupon not expired blimpe social media influencer job
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Brian
@one-underscore.bsky.social
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psychological horror film idea: a little free library that is always full of walter isaacson books.
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Brian
@one-underscore.bsky.social
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in the 1st of its 2 seasons, the senior association had the suns, sun sox, and super sox.
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Brian
@one-underscore.bsky.social
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the mlb draft is coming up. make sure that if someone writes a "draft grades" story, you respond to them with "D-, very poor, even for you"
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Brian
@one-underscore.bsky.social
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we won't be back on the right track until pizza places start selling big cheap buckets of spaghetti again
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Brian
@one-underscore.bsky.social
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if someone spots joel asking about the exchange rate for lempira, we can be sure he's headed toward honduras.
1 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Brian
@one-underscore.bsky.social
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my sister completely ruined thanksgiving one year by reading us posts from the chive she thought were funny through dinner and then trying to get us to play this.
1 replies 0 reposts 10 likes
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Brian
@one-underscore.bsky.social
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the closer you are to the middle of the length of the string, the more it is wiggling, so you get a louder, deeper sound out of it. the ab/ab orientation will help balance it by picking up the sound from the thinner strings closer to the middle of their length. diagonal? probably aesthetic.
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Brian
@one-underscore.bsky.social
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i thought the airbnb one was depressing, this is on a different level
0 replies 0 reposts 4 likes
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Brian
@one-underscore.bsky.social
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the way those hats are displayed, i know i couldn't afford anything in that store. i'd just say "thanks" to the salesperson and walk out.
1 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Brian
@one-underscore.bsky.social
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Chloe Sevigny is on Kimmel gushing about "Splitting my forehead open as I completely fail to do a skateboard trick on a poorly built ramp, 1992" (notes of wood, blood, asphalt) when she's supposed to be promoting her movie.
0 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Brian
@one-underscore.bsky.social
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proustian vapes is your billion dollar idea, stan. call it something like "cave behind a waterfall at a state park, autumn 1988" and all of the smart and complicated celebs will be hooked on them.
1 replies 0 reposts 1 likes
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Brian
@one-underscore.bsky.social
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when i hear people talking about internships, i think about this intern who was asked to assemble a routine catering order for a meeting, and only ordered 20 mushroom sandwiches, since that was the only vegan option on the menu. it was unintentionally the best prank i've ever seen at an office.
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Brian
@one-underscore.bsky.social
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the skateboard remake of "how green was my valley" will be called "how gleam was my cube"
0 replies 0 reposts 0 likes