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Max

@paisleystars.bsky.social

2047 followers 246 following 2416 posts

Former perpetual wanderer, currently stationary. Probably further north than you. Wildlife photographer (they/them)

Max's avatar Max @paisleystars.bsky.social
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My slow cooker is on its way from the mainland and I've just bid on a bread maker on Facebook. I am *ready* for the dark season.

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Max's avatar Max @paisleystars.bsky.social
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Summer fashion for the discerning gentleman, modelled this morning by two Svalbard rock ptarmigans 🪶

0 replies 8 reposts 34 likes

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I definitely need to visit the Yukon some day!

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Max's avatar Max @paisleystars.bsky.social
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Sometimes it's charming, but we're still more than 50 days from sunset (and it's been almost 80 since sunrise) and sometimes it grates.

1 replies 0 reposts 4 likes

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Hello can I do the camera work for this? 😆

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The third worst birds. 🪶

0 replies 2 reposts 25 likes

Max's avatar Max @paisleystars.bsky.social
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We've also got - Endalen (literally Valley One) - Todalen (Valley Two) - Bolterdalen, which used to be called Tredalen, but was renamed Bolterdalen by the party accompanying a British explorer, whose horse fucked off at speed in this valley.

2 replies 0 reposts 17 likes

Max's avatar Max @paisleystars.bsky.social
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My favourites: Sticky Keep Paulabreen Tunabreen Hedgehogfjellet Ben Nevis Burgerbukta

2 replies 2 reposts 11 likes

Max's avatar Max @paisleystars.bsky.social
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In more positive news, please enjoy this ridiculously massive family of pink-footed geese, henceforth referred to as Mr and Mrs Goose and the 8-piece McNuggets.

0 replies 7 reposts 56 likes

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Anyway, this post brought to you by the fact that I've spent several hours in the mud and wind, earning almost certainly no money, while my uterus, which I didn't even ask for on my sign-up form, tries to crawl out and go home. I am not in the mood for dickhead behaviour.

1 replies 1 reposts 27 likes

Max's avatar Max @paisleystars.bsky.social
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Be angry. Be upset. Be irritated. Be furious. Be motivated. Be enthused. Be passionate. Be distraught. Be baffled. But don't be awful.

0 replies 1 reposts 23 likes

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Good grief, some of you are being awful about politics today.

1 replies 0 reposts 10 likes

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July is Haunted Reindeer Season

1 replies 6 reposts 52 likes

Max's avatar Max @paisleystars.bsky.social
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It's certainly a lot less glamorous than you'd first think 😆 there's a lot of paperwork and phone calls and emails, interspersed with trying not to have an asthma attack on the way up a mountain, crawling through mud and snow, or pouring glacier meltwater out of your boots.

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Max's avatar Max @paisleystars.bsky.social
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This is literally my job. I am a wildlife photographer.

2 replies 0 reposts 6 likes

Max's avatar Max @paisleystars.bsky.social
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To be fair, at least some of that is the heart rate increase that happens when you're filming adorable clusters of fuzzy goslings and one of these fuckers glides into your peripheral vision. 🪶

2 replies 2 reposts 32 likes

Max's avatar Max @paisleystars.bsky.social
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It's Wednesday, I have not done any formal or deliberate exercise this week, and my watch has informed me I just hit my weekly activity goal. Just in case you were wondering how work was going.

1 replies 0 reposts 13 likes

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It's currently doing the rounds up here too. Feel better soon

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Max's avatar Max @paisleystars.bsky.social
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I am like 90% hormones have absurd cravings for Haribo Tangfastics and/or Cadbury Dairy Milk, if anybody fancies popping up with a pack of each.

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Just to be very clear, I still think Starmer is a monumental bellend and major reform needs to take place within the British political system. But major reform does not start with re-electing the Conservatives for another five years, bringing them up to almost two consecutive decades in power.

0 replies 1 reposts 16 likes

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I swear if it ends up with the Tories again, either solo or propped up by some other scumbags, I'm coming back down there to fight each and every one of you.

0 replies 0 reposts 22 likes

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Right then, Britain. Regarding voting. Remember how every vote since the Brexit referendum (inclusive) has been a 'foregone conclusion' that, it turns out, wasn't any sort of foregone and everything went completely to shit instead? Do not fuck it up tomorrow.

1 replies 5 reposts 33 likes

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Bloogs

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Something has upset the auks and they are attempting to scream it into submission. The cliffs are howling like they're haunted.

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Max's avatar Max @paisleystars.bsky.social
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Mushroom Week is an annual event. On the first Monday of mushroom week, there is a lecture from mycologists about identifying safe mushrooms. Then you have a week to pick them and, on the next Monday, you take your mushrooms back to the scientists for checking.

1 replies 1 reposts 25 likes

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The dates for this year's Mushroom Week have just been announced and, even as I write that, I know how made up it sounds.

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Yeah no thanks. I love her writing but Dark Matter shook me up plenty, thank you. Also mountains are all I've got to entertain me here

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Reposted by Max

plesnercph🇩🇰's avatar plesnercph🇩🇰 @plesnercph.bsky.social
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When I was a teenager, my dad worked in southern Iran. One evening around xmas -78, my sisters and I played football with some of the local kids. It was 14°C. We wore t-shirts and shorts. The local kids wore sweaters and long trousers. I was amazed by how differently temperatures were perceived.

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Max's avatar Max @paisleystars.bsky.social
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Getting a few 'oh, that's not that cold' responses, so this is a reminder that I live closer to the north pole than penguins do to the south pole. It is not that cold. It is, in fact, fucking boiling and I am melting to death.

2 replies 2 reposts 22 likes

Max's avatar Max @paisleystars.bsky.social
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When I worked in the tropics I used to put a coat on if the temperature started with a 2 😂 now it gets above 10 and I just stop functioning

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Come on up! We're visa free, anybody can move here

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It's *unbelievably* warm. It should not be 13°C. 7 is a normal hot summer day.

1 replies 0 reposts 4 likes

Max's avatar Max @paisleystars.bsky.social
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Walked 2.4km, completely uphill, carrying a week's worth of groceries for two people, in 26 minutes. So I'm currently feeling slightly indestructible.

1 replies 0 reposts 23 likes

Max's avatar Max @paisleystars.bsky.social
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Fuzzy bird neighbour round up so far: Common eiders ☑️ Pink-footed geese ☑️ Barnacle geese ☑️ Still on the look out for king eiders, and little auks, and I know of a couple of glaucous gull nests. Studiously avoiding the terns and skuas because they are tetchy bastards with very sharp faces.

1 replies 10 reposts 69 likes

Max's avatar Max @paisleystars.bsky.social
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I read it during the last polar night and had to wake my husband up because the ending shook me up so badly. It's just come up in conversation so this is my book club recommendation.

3 replies 0 reposts 21 likes

Max's avatar Max @paisleystars.bsky.social
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Got Svalbard envy and an urge to be up here? Want to get rid of it? Read Dark Matter by Michelle Paver. It's a traditional style ghost story set in the Svalbard polar night. Somebody on here recommended it to me. It's *beautifully* written, but, to be frank, it scared the hell out of me 😆

3 replies 1 reposts 30 likes

Max's avatar Max @paisleystars.bsky.social
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Eider turning eggs. You have to be *so* careful with eiders, they're so flighty and can start getting stressed about you from a hundred metres away or more, depending on the vulnerability of their location. This one was on the edge of a big colony and hence super chill, though. 🪶

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Okay, but the pink-footed goslings are impossibly cute 🪶

2 replies 8 reposts 136 likes

Max's avatar Max @paisleystars.bsky.social
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Stop trying to sneak up on wildlife 😆 I cannot adequately express how not suited to that you are as a human being. Stop it

1 replies 7 reposts 54 likes

Max's avatar Max @paisleystars.bsky.social
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It's for whatever people want to use it for, I sell usage licenses (from various locations, not just here) The majority of my clients are in the tourism industry.

1 replies 0 reposts 5 likes

Max's avatar Max @paisleystars.bsky.social
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Lost my day off yesterday, so I'm having another go today. This is mostly just an excuse to have waffles for breakfast for the second day in a row.

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Max's avatar Max @paisleystars.bsky.social
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Then yes, you want to be here now 😆 late June and into July is the best time to be able to get out on both hiking tours and boat tours to see wildlife

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Max's avatar Max @paisleystars.bsky.social
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Oh it really depends on what you're looking for. No one season is better than the other, they all have things you can only see or do at that specific time of year. (Happy to advise if you know what kind of trip you want, though)

1 replies 0 reposts 1 likes