Certified Tom Paris-Hater's avatar

Certified Tom Paris-Hater

@sumoyokai.bsky.social

218 followers 251 following 2154 posts

Enjoyer of cats, spiders, sumo, comics, video games, and films. Purveyor of fine, artisanally crafted ADHD incidents. Sometimes I post pictures of spiders and sumo wrestlers, but I promise they won’t hurt you. they/she queer nonbinary amorphous blob

Reposted by Certified Tom Paris-Hater

Funranium (AKA Phil Broughton)'s avatar Funranium (AKA Phil Broughton) @funranium.bsky.social
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Thinking about this again. I collected more examples than I used in this post, like my assignat, the Belgian Free State of Congo 50 centime, the 1938 Nazi election token, Japanese occupational currency for countries never conquered. So many. www.funraniumlabs.com/2022/02/coin...

3 replies 1 reposts 11 likes

Reposted by Certified Tom Paris-Hater

Reposted by Certified Tom Paris-Hater

Certified Tom Paris-Hater's avatar Certified Tom Paris-Hater @sumoyokai.bsky.social
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I'd probably do something foolish like climb up a ladder and try to get it off with a broom, and then fall over.

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Certified Tom Paris-Hater's avatar Certified Tom Paris-Hater @sumoyokai.bsky.social
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Wow what a dipshit!

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Certified Tom Paris-Hater's avatar Certified Tom Paris-Hater @sumoyokai.bsky.social
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If you had the option of adding accessories via a Vac-U-Lock system or something that would have such amazing potential.

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Certified Tom Paris-Hater's avatar Certified Tom Paris-Hater @sumoyokai.bsky.social
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Yeah, but at least if you need an mri in the future your head won't be torn to pieces.

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Certified Tom Paris-Hater's avatar Certified Tom Paris-Hater @sumoyokai.bsky.social
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Can you mount horns on them or other interchangeable accessories because

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Certified Tom Paris-Hater's avatar Certified Tom Paris-Hater @sumoyokai.bsky.social
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I didn't miss that it's nonbinary week but I am sick so I'll let this person speak for me.

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Certified Tom Paris-Hater's avatar Certified Tom Paris-Hater @sumoyokai.bsky.social
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He doesn't have a head.

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Certified Tom Paris-Hater's avatar Certified Tom Paris-Hater @sumoyokai.bsky.social
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I have been fucked up by some ants!

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Certified Tom Paris-Hater's avatar Certified Tom Paris-Hater @sumoyokai.bsky.social
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My partner has had to explain to more than one upset family why their loved one who died with jaundice looks like the Incredible Hulk after embalming. They are usually okay with it after that though. It's an upsetting, uncertain time.

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Certified Tom Paris-Hater's avatar Certified Tom Paris-Hater @sumoyokai.bsky.social
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Oh wow gorgeous!

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Certified Tom Paris-Hater's avatar Certified Tom Paris-Hater @sumoyokai.bsky.social
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Currently debilius.

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Certified Tom Paris-Hater's avatar Certified Tom Paris-Hater @sumoyokai.bsky.social
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Same for you, friend. American healthcare!

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Certified Tom Paris-Hater's avatar Certified Tom Paris-Hater @sumoyokai.bsky.social
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Yeah absolutely. My family can't grow the chops which is a big reason I don't see the point of going on T for me. I just want them chops!

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Certified Tom Paris-Hater's avatar Certified Tom Paris-Hater @sumoyokai.bsky.social
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Oh my god I have always wanted mutton chops. I would fucking trade you. Mutton chops are so dope.

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Certified Tom Paris-Hater's avatar Certified Tom Paris-Hater @sumoyokai.bsky.social
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Remelteon is over $400 a month so I guess it's cheaper to get me addicted to benzos than to give me something that will help me sleep with little or no side effects.

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Certified Tom Paris-Hater's avatar Certified Tom Paris-Hater @sumoyokai.bsky.social
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Love to have my insurance decline my Remelteon prescription because they don't have a record that I've ever tried Ambien or other addictive, short-term treatments to treat the insomnia that I've had since I hit puberty.

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Certified Tom Paris-Hater's avatar Certified Tom Paris-Hater @sumoyokai.bsky.social
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I scrubbed it and it turned into little sticky gross balls and I can't get them off of my fingers and they feel like snot.

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Certified Tom Paris-Hater's avatar Certified Tom Paris-Hater @sumoyokai.bsky.social
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Thanks! I took a lovely shower this morning and enjoyed water running over my face, but I am sticky :(

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Certified Tom Paris-Hater's avatar Certified Tom Paris-Hater @sumoyokai.bsky.social
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Yeah, it's fucking annoying and there's absolutely no reason for it.

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Certified Tom Paris-Hater's avatar Certified Tom Paris-Hater @sumoyokai.bsky.social
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Laid my heart monitor to rest in its little cardboard bed to prepare it for its journey. Safe travels, little guy. I feel kinda bad for whoever needs to touch these nasty things when they arrive, though.

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Certified Tom Paris-Hater's avatar Certified Tom Paris-Hater @sumoyokai.bsky.social
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You know, just a helpful alert to let people know I will probably randomly insert myself into their conversations I overhear if they're about my special interests, then abruptly leave to investigate something interesting I've seen across the room.

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Certified Tom Paris-Hater's avatar Certified Tom Paris-Hater @sumoyokai.bsky.social
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Someone added a content warning for autism on a meme they posted to Discord, which kind of bothered me, but then I considered that having a big yellow sign around my neck that says "Warning! AuDHD!" might be helpful at parties.

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Certified Tom Paris-Hater's avatar Certified Tom Paris-Hater @sumoyokai.bsky.social
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Holy shit, that's awful.

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Certified Tom Paris-Hater's avatar Certified Tom Paris-Hater @sumoyokai.bsky.social
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Yes. Linked In is abhorrent to usssss

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Reposted by Certified Tom Paris-Hater

AF the Virologist 's avatar AF the Virologist @afthescientist.bsky.social
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Looking for neurodivergent panelists (academics/former academics) for this session in the fall and I realized that is probably going to be very limited on LinkedIn for many, many reasons but mostly bc we nd folks hate LinkedIn. 😂😩

6 replies 3 reposts 22 likes

Certified Tom Paris-Hater's avatar Certified Tom Paris-Hater @sumoyokai.bsky.social
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I should look up all the codes and see how much I can fuck my insurance this year. HOW THE TURNS HAVE TABLED!!

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Certified Tom Paris-Hater's avatar Certified Tom Paris-Hater @sumoyokai.bsky.social
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Doubling down on having maxed out all my medical deductibles for the year by scheduling an mri to see if I need brain surgery. Maybe I can fit that in this year so I don't have to pay shit.

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Certified Tom Paris-Hater's avatar Certified Tom Paris-Hater @sumoyokai.bsky.social
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You know, the more of this irresponsible right wing coverage you put out there, the more of a hole you're going to need to climb out of to restore your credibility as a news agency, right? This is on par with the New York Post, guys. What are you doing, here?

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Certified Tom Paris-Hater's avatar Certified Tom Paris-Hater @sumoyokai.bsky.social
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Steeling myself against calling my insurance to ask about all these bills today.

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Reposted by Certified Tom Paris-Hater

Kim, Bestie of Bunzy, Co-CEO Execubetch™️'s avatar Kim, Bestie of Bunzy, Co-CEO Execubetch™️ @easybakedoven.bsky.social
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I just read an article that said "Why is it taking so long for your favorite movies and tv series to air? Blame the writers and actor strikes" No I won't. I'm blaming that ✨single✨ motherfucker at the studio who makes $250 million dollars a year who's one job is supposed to make this shit happen.

32 replies 623 reposts 2809 likes

Certified Tom Paris-Hater's avatar Certified Tom Paris-Hater @sumoyokai.bsky.social
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Oh wow that super sucks. I'm so sorry.

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Reposted by Certified Tom Paris-Hater

Jennifer K.'s avatar Jennifer K. @pdxjenni.bsky.social
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We! Never! Stopped! Getting! COVID!!!! What the actual SHIT is this headline?????? There has never been a time, in the last 4.5 godforsaken years, when we didn't have people getting COVID!!!

13 replies 320 reposts 801 likes

Certified Tom Paris-Hater's avatar Certified Tom Paris-Hater @sumoyokai.bsky.social
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I used Zoom's screen recording tool yesterday to record one of my favorite FFXIV quests because it's silly, but the resulting video quality was garbage. To add insult to injury, I received an unexpected and unwanted AI summary after the fact and discovered that I was Assigned Female By Zoom.

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Certified Tom Paris-Hater's avatar Certified Tom Paris-Hater @sumoyokai.bsky.social
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You can eat my whole ass, Apple Health app. I walked farther today than I did yesterday. I can't help it if you're stupid.

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Certified Tom Paris-Hater's avatar Certified Tom Paris-Hater @sumoyokai.bsky.social
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I enjoyed all his Souplantation upholstery suits.

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Reposted by Certified Tom Paris-Hater

Christy, Butlerian Jihadist's avatar Christy, Butlerian Jihadist @birdsaredinosaurs.bsky.social
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Reading about trans issues has radicalized me from "folks should have ready access to gender-affirming care" to "it should be free and come with a commemorative coffee mug."

1 replies 6 reposts 26 likes

Certified Tom Paris-Hater's avatar Certified Tom Paris-Hater @sumoyokai.bsky.social
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Being sick with a mysterious illness sucks ass. It's hard being randomly disabled and struggling to do basic shit like breathe and walk and not knowing if/when you'll ever really get better.

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Certified Tom Paris-Hater's avatar Certified Tom Paris-Hater @sumoyokai.bsky.social
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Normal cat: ooh yes sunbeam! General Fu Hao: ew

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Certified Tom Paris-Hater's avatar Certified Tom Paris-Hater @sumoyokai.bsky.social
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Man, those ladies just treat you like a big piece of meat, too.

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Certified Tom Paris-Hater's avatar Certified Tom Paris-Hater @sumoyokai.bsky.social
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Rubbing a mosquito-bitten leg on some concrete.

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Certified Tom Paris-Hater's avatar Certified Tom Paris-Hater @sumoyokai.bsky.social
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I'm so relieved! I hope they stay that way for a while yet.

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