Ted's avatar

Ted

@tedinpa.bsky.social

62 followers 370 following 419 posts

World's most reasonable person New Jersey native, Pennsylvania resident Sports: UNC, Mets, Jets Phishhead Former High School Math Team All Star

Ted's avatar Ted @tedinpa.bsky.social
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Is there a realistic scenario where Biden bows out of the race, and a replacement is selected in time to ensure they'd be on the ballot in all 50 states? Ohio has already tried to fuck Biden out of being on the ballot as it is; I'd imagine every GOP Secretary of State would fuck over the replacement

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Ted's avatar Ted @tedinpa.bsky.social
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If Biden drops out, shit like this gets buried even deeper under pants-pissing "Dems in disarray" stories

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TW's avatar TW @twesq.bsky.social
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I think we can officially retire the heartbreaking meme now

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Ted's avatar Ted @tedinpa.bsky.social
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This man should be on all the watch lists. Every single one

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Ted's avatar Ted @tedinpa.bsky.social
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Thank you for enlightening me, I had no idea why my ancestors came here

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Ted's avatar Ted @tedinpa.bsky.social
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Hoping my Irish ancestry allows me to go where they've got the president with the cool dogs

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Ted's avatar Ted @tedinpa.bsky.social
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It's fucking Wild Kingdom out here in suburbia

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Ted's avatar Ted @tedinpa.bsky.social
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Totally beside the point, but the fact that he wrote, "whom to vote for" rather than "for whom to vote" really bothers me

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Ted's avatar Ted @tedinpa.bsky.social
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Yeah, I think there are actually interesting crosstabs in addition to the one I was making a dumb joke about

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Ted's avatar Ted @tedinpa.bsky.social
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Would be into seeing some crosstabs splitting results for people who just woke up from a 40-year long coma vs those who have been conscious at least intermittently

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Ted's avatar Ted @tedinpa.bsky.social
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It's definitely both of those things.

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Reposted by Ted

Ian Boudreau's avatar Ian Boudreau @iboudreau.bsky.social
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Earlier this month he was sundowning and couldn't read the teleprompter and started rambling about falling in the water with marine batteries and sharks nearby and said he would rather be electrocuted than eaten by a shark, this was in front of thousands of people

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Ted's avatar Ted @tedinpa.bsky.social
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"I never thought leopards would come back for seconds," sobs woman who voted for the Leopards Eating People's Faces Party.

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Ted's avatar Ted @tedinpa.bsky.social
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Heads up, either the lighting is weird or you're about to lose a thumb to frostbite

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Ted's avatar Ted @tedinpa.bsky.social
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Top pic looks like a live-action Gru

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Ted's avatar Ted @tedinpa.bsky.social
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One of the wettest cybertrucks we've seen, from a standpoint of water

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Ted's avatar Ted @tedinpa.bsky.social
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Lol, remember Concordia University of Michigan That system should really look to expand to North Texas

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Ted's avatar Ted @tedinpa.bsky.social
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Reading up on the history of this painting, it starts to make sense that the current pope thinks things are less hetero in the Vatican today

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Ted's avatar Ted @tedinpa.bsky.social
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Nuns stuck in iron gates walked so stepmoms stuck in washing machines could run

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Ted's avatar Ted @tedinpa.bsky.social
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This should become the new distracted boyfriend meme template

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Ted's avatar Ted @tedinpa.bsky.social
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We do now have supermarkets with licenses to sell beer and wine, but only in limited quantities (up to 3 bottles of wine or up to 192 oz of beer)

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Ted's avatar Ted @tedinpa.bsky.social
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Maybe he should also cover the cost of the kids' hair plugs and ketamine

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Ted's avatar Ted @tedinpa.bsky.social
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Lord of the Rings: The Cum of the King

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Ted's avatar Ted @tedinpa.bsky.social
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There was a deli in Manasquan that made them. They were popular, but I would never eat one because of the colseslaw

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Ted's avatar Ted @tedinpa.bsky.social
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So he can surreptitiously beat off with his left hand

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Ted's avatar Ted @tedinpa.bsky.social
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Plastics: They're not just for breakfast anymore.

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Ted's avatar Ted @tedinpa.bsky.social
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Thin slicing it out of my queue

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Ted's avatar Ted @tedinpa.bsky.social
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I just soaked every quick-connect hose adapter I have in CLR because I didn't like the look of the calcium build-up I had noticed on one of them.

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Ted's avatar Ted @tedinpa.bsky.social
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For my dad, I could just copy and paste all the acting credits from Peter Sellers' imdb page

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Ted's avatar Ted @tedinpa.bsky.social
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Who's going to bang the maid of honor

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Ted's avatar Ted @tedinpa.bsky.social
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Extremely popular in the all-boys Catholic high school I attended from 1989-93.

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Ted's avatar Ted @tedinpa.bsky.social
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So, which one of those guys is the one who's suing Apple?

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Ted's avatar Ted @tedinpa.bsky.social
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What kind of pervert does the Saturday puzzle on Friday

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