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jul.i.an

@twelveyearsold.bsky.social

33 followers 164 following 125 posts

my kit is laden and my caboodle bountiful

jul.i.an's avatar jul.i.an @twelveyearsold.bsky.social
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play on player

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jul.i.an's avatar jul.i.an @twelveyearsold.bsky.social
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a cup of coffee smells oh so good… but, if you get a little bit on your hand it smells so gross. the duality of man

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jul.i.an's avatar jul.i.an @twelveyearsold.bsky.social
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Poskopi. An A&C brand.

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jul.i.an's avatar jul.i.an @twelveyearsold.bsky.social
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Boink is brought to you by Poskopi

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jul.i.an's avatar jul.i.an @twelveyearsold.bsky.social
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i have reportedly inked a seven figure multi-season deal with Hulu and the team behind FX’s smash hit The Bear to create a show about a 30 year old guy who can perfectly stack his home dishwasher even when he’s a little bit hungover

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jul.i.an's avatar jul.i.an @twelveyearsold.bsky.social
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literally had this dream recently bsky.app/profile/twel...

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jul.i.an's avatar jul.i.an @twelveyearsold.bsky.social
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one of the top 6 grossest things has got to be when you squoosh a bug and it has human-coloured blood inside it. like a bug that doesn’t drink human blood i mean. its like if a crushed a tiny weeny little man. sorry little guy

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jul.i.an's avatar jul.i.an @twelveyearsold.bsky.social
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parfour the course with these so-called “rappers”

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jul.i.an's avatar jul.i.an @twelveyearsold.bsky.social
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so fucked up to see an off-brand Baby On Board sticker. oh yeah Baby In Car?? how about Cheapskate In Driver’s Seat. for shame

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jul.i.an's avatar jul.i.an @twelveyearsold.bsky.social
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cograts

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jul.i.an's avatar jul.i.an @twelveyearsold.bsky.social
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it’s interesting that a group of men are titled Messrs. when the “messers” in my house tend to be w𝐔𝐬𝐞𝐫 𝐡𝐚𝐬 𝐛𝐞𝐞𝐧 𝐬𝐮𝐛𝐩𝐨𝐞𝐧𝐚𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐞𝐚𝐫 𝐛𝐞𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐡𝐮𝐛𝐛𝐲 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐭 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐭

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jul.i.an's avatar jul.i.an @twelveyearsold.bsky.social
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yes, yes, wonderful!

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jul.i.an's avatar jul.i.an @twelveyearsold.bsky.social
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was gonna watch this with the fellas this weekend. thank you for factoring my plans into your schedule 💋

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jul.i.an's avatar jul.i.an @twelveyearsold.bsky.social
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what’s*

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jul.i.an's avatar jul.i.an @twelveyearsold.bsky.social
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whst’s up

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jul.i.an's avatar jul.i.an @twelveyearsold.bsky.social
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𝗿/𝗘𝗗𝗖 • sort by 𝗖𝗼𝗻𝘁𝗿𝗼𝘃𝗲𝗿𝘀𝗶𝗮𝗹 ▿ 𝗔𝗹𝗹 𝗧𝗶𝗺𝗲 ▿ todays carry. how did i do, reddit ?

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jul.i.an's avatar jul.i.an @twelveyearsold.bsky.social
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entering V.A.T.S. to shoot my piss directly into the top left corner of the toilet water [57%]

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Reposted by jul.i.an

jul.i.an's avatar jul.i.an @twelveyearsold.bsky.social
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ABRUPTLY FIRED from writing the INTERSTITIAL TITLES on FRASIER for implying BUT ONCE that EDDIE THE DOG was able to foretell MARTIN CRANE'S DATE OF DEATH!!!!!!!!!!!!

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jul.i.an's avatar jul.i.an @twelveyearsold.bsky.social
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hey brother just wanted to let you know I read this late — 21:49 aest — and it hit 👍

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jul.i.an's avatar jul.i.an @twelveyearsold.bsky.social
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removing ALL spam filters from my gmail going forward. i am my OWN man and i ALONE will be the one to decide whether or not i have 𝐰𝐨𝐧 a $𝟐𝟑𝟑𝟎 𝚐.𝚒.𝚏.𝚝 𝚌.𝚊.𝚛.𝚍 from 𝙻𝚘𝚠𝚎𝚜®

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jul.i.an's avatar jul.i.an @twelveyearsold.bsky.social
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their whole codenaming system would basically have been fucked if the jukebox was playing "murder on the dancefloor"

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jul.i.an's avatar jul.i.an @twelveyearsold.bsky.social
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any little guys out there best watch their fuckin behinds once i get my hand on one of these 😈

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jul.i.an's avatar jul.i.an @twelveyearsold.bsky.social
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one of my most recent, most vivid dreams was being forced to design a poster for a woody allen movie called “‘Tis Kismet”

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Reposted by jul.i.an

nathan's avatar nathan @wiseposter.bsky.social
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i hope this dowsing rod finds you well

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jul.i.an's avatar jul.i.an @twelveyearsold.bsky.social
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nice wear and tear, brother. by any chance is that shit commensurate with age?

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Reposted by jul.i.an

getting easily scammed by account called musk_bitcoin2948731's avatar getting easily scammed by account called musk_bitcoin2948731 @stefanheck.bsky.social
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Today is the 10 year anniversary of the “I really what Doritos” post

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jul.i.an's avatar jul.i.an @twelveyearsold.bsky.social
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𝗿/𝗘𝗗𝗖 • sort by 𝗖𝗼𝗻𝘁𝗿𝗼𝘃𝗲𝗿𝘀𝗶𝗮𝗹 ▿ 𝗔𝗹𝗹 𝗧𝗶𝗺𝗲 ▿ Todday's setup... how did i do, reddit ?

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jul.i.an's avatar jul.i.an @twelveyearsold.bsky.social
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say what you will about noted slappist will smith. he fucking snapped when he devoted an entire verse on his cameo “candy” remix to doing chocolate bar puns

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jul.i.an's avatar jul.i.an @twelveyearsold.bsky.social
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yeah, i'm on a mukbang diet… i MUCK up a simple recipe, and then i BANG my head against the pantry door in SHAME and FRUSTRATION until i suffer a mild CONCUSSION!!!

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jul.i.an's avatar jul.i.an @twelveyearsold.bsky.social
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going "dr frankerstein" mode in my garage to combine my toto bidet and my sodastream and immediately dying on my toilet of what the coroner deems Acute Rectal Effervescence

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jul.i.an's avatar jul.i.an @twelveyearsold.bsky.social
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regrettably your bedpan has drifted to the kitchen (?) overnight

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jul.i.an's avatar jul.i.an @twelveyearsold.bsky.social
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finally watching game and thrones. no one told me this show is just 8 seasons of ugly dudes saying shit like "i should sooner cut off a whore's tits than cede power". then they cut to a screaming woman giving birth

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jul.i.an's avatar jul.i.an @twelveyearsold.bsky.social
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struck with sudden fear at the prospect of getting up for a 3am wee

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jul.i.an's avatar jul.i.an @twelveyearsold.bsky.social
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sorry not sorry if this OFFENDS the loony left wokies – but any time that i thank you very much, i am secretly quoting famous glutton and pervert elvis presley

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jul.i.an's avatar jul.i.an @twelveyearsold.bsky.social
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back in the day all advertising agencies were called like Hutchinson Peters & Co. then in the 2000s they were all called The Uncommonly Good Ideation Concern. in the 2010s it was UN/TH1NKR. now they’re all called fatwetbleatingpig for some reason

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